saturday's ypg msg was super cool :D haha it was on caleb and how he and joshua stood out from the twelve spies that went to spy on the land of canaan cos they had FAITH and its supersuper cool cos pastormark was heh telling us how he kept his aspiration of doing something for the Lord for FORTYFIVE years and hurm how he charged up a mountain at the age of eightyfive which is UNBELIEVABLE la im like dead already after running 1.6km doing 40 pushups 100 squats 70 crunches and 20 triceptrainingrubbishtogiveusnicearms in the course of forty minutes during mass pe and thats like nothing la compared to an eightyfive year old guy CHARGING [not hobbling ah] up a mountain and its really like WOW so my weariness is zitzero compared to that yes i must try and learn from pastor and be able to survive on five hours of sleep a day heh now i need like triple that to stay awake during econs lecture so yessss revival and renewal :D

spent like six hours singing yesterday so my voice is heh totally gone we really sing like mad in the ac choir but it really brings such joy [and goosebumps too ;p] when i hear the melodious mixing of the satb after hurm HOURS and literally hours of training. heh but the teachers will stop at nothing but perfection so we're just gonna keep singing, keep singing.. and singing. but yes i will find joy in singing too all the songs are Christian songs heh so far anyway aside from pamugan but ubi caritas and jubilate deo arent in english so though its nice and all theres like no joy or meaning in singing it cos i concentrate so much on the words i forget the meaning but when we sing glory of the Father which we did for the whole of yesterday it really makes me so v much more conscious of what im singing about, and its just.. nice :D

theres this part that goes 'He came to His own, and His own and His own received Him not' and we kept singing that part over and over again cos we didnt sound as in musically ok but i know God hears the heart so yea (: and it really reminds me about our horrible wretchedness and evilness and everything horrible that we are and i dont think i'll ever understand why He came and 'dwelt among us' thats like oil mixing with water which is just not possible but He came to give us that hope of life and to teach us to walk in that light and thats something i really have to learn to be thankful for (:

went for the ac choir gathering at dael's house after church and everything and it feels nice i mean when we all say grace together and everything but i always hear the same word that comes about 'fellowship'. everyone talks about fellowship. fellowship over lunch over dinner, whatever. but how often do we really talk about what really matters? and i realised that over dinner i heard alot of jokes and teasing round all the different tables but i heard nothing and i do mean nothing about God. im guilty of that too cos alot of times i forget and when i get high i just laugh at just about everything and just totally lose it but yupppp i must be more conscious of why i live, and WHO, i live for (:

woke up feeling terrible this morning i dont know why i just somehow felt i wasnt very right with God. there will be times when my spirit feels uplifted and i feel a little joy but that spark very quickly dies off and i slip right back into my old, comfortable, sinful ways. and i know that alot of times i just turn my back on the problem and just run away from it in the complete opposite direction and that results in terrible adverse effects on the growth of my faith. rah just told us this morning how she was finding it sup hard to witness to others and everything and i realised that all of us are facing our own individual difficulties in our faith, what she's going through now is not what im going through now. im here with my own set of problems, rie's struggling with hers, ruth and jia have their own stuff to deal with and theres no possible way we can be THERE for each other all the time. for rie and i its alot easier cos we wait ok more like she waits for me every morning before we go for assembly and it helps alot the days heh when im not late and we have time to pray together and all but yea with different schools and the evil suffocating jc curriculum theres just about no room for us to talk aside from an occasional heh weekly exhortation sms but STILL realise heh ok i've done alot of realisation over the week that when all else fails, He's still there. you dont have to dial a number and wait for someone to pick up, you dont have to hear the 'please try again later' thing on a phone switched off, its direct, complete and unhindered access all you hav to do to clasp your hands, close your eyes and pray.

and it really is something im beginning to appreciate so very much more and yahhhhh smetimes i wish tchenkee would migrate to teaching bio in ac instead of tj so we can attack her during breaks and all but well He's placed us here and we are so gonna survive against all the evil wiles of the devil :D

im definitely not looking forward to hearing another illogical msg tmr so im just gonna cover my ears and let all the rubbish i hear enter not. grrr

oh yes heh last thing caleb said "give me this mountain of which the Lord spoke in that day" -joshua14:12 such was his faith and i wanna learn from that. seeing how the Lord fulfilled His promises to caleb, protected him through his time in the wilderness, went with caleb and his people, and blessed joshua and caleb and learning from caleb's consistency! which i know i do not have. consistency of faith, of obedience to God, of strength of Spirit.

hebrews 12:1- let us run the race with endurance, looking unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith (: