it was a beautiful let down
when i crashed and burned
when i found myself alone unknown and hurt
it was a beautiful let down
the day i knew
that all the riches this world had to offer me
would never do

in a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt
i was trying so hard to fit in, fit in,
until i found out
i don't belong here
i don't belong here
i will carry Your cross and Your song
but i don't belong

it was a beautiful let down
when you found me here
yeah for once in a blue moon i see everything clear
i'll be your beautiful let down
thats what i've ever been
and even if it costs my soul
i'll sing for free
we're still chasin our tails in the rising time
in our dark third planet
when no one fights and no one's one

see i don't belong here
i will carry Your cross and Your song
but i don't belong here
i'm gonna set sight and set sail for the kingdom come
kingdom come
Your kingdom come
won't you let me down yeah
let my foolish proud
forever let me down

easy living not much left for pain
easy dying hey they're just abou the same
won't you please take me off your list
easy living please come on and let me down

we are a beautiful let down,
painfully uncool,
the church of the dropouts
and losers and sinners and failures and the fools
oh what a beautiful let down
all resolved in the womb
and join us He wants you too

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Feels like I don't belong here
Let me down
Let me down
Feels like I'm let down
Let me down.
Cos I don't belong here
Please
Won't you let me down?


saturday's and sunday's msges were really apt and applicable and it just reminded me all over again the importance of standing strong and finding so much more joy in the circumstances of life. a's start TMRW and i dont even feel remotely anxious about it, not that im prepared, far from it. but i suppose still feeling calm is a good thing it helps me not panic and yea just seeking to find joy and much strength in this last lap of the race (: ruth said to think about it in terms of sundays and yes ONE MORE sunday left before im freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. haha that sounds so yummy. and this is it, what i've studied so hard for. took some time last night to reflect on the reason why i study, why i go for it so hard and sacrifice so much. and i realised that when my focus is off-centre, when i look at other seemingly more beautiful things of the world, then everything seems so much harder and my spirit gets crushed really, really fast. insight too on how the evil one works in our lives from the really amusing sketch by our new bethany sketch team haha and i have resolved to be especially on guard and wake up every morning with a song in my heart (:

how precious to me are Your thoughts, o God. how vast is the sum of them. were i to count them they'd outnumber the grains of sand, when i awake i am still with You. (: