yesterday was originally a very good day, i learnt so much from Pastor's evening msg and it was like a fresh new determination on my part to persevere and work towards having a fruitful life! but it didnt feel so good at night. im just thankful for all who talked to me and tried to counsel me haha. sometimes i really dont understand what the Lord is trying to teach me. and im just wondering why on earth im going through pain that is inflicted by no fault of mine. [NO PLEASE it is not a guy problem dont try and guess.] and i wonder what im doing wrong, what is never good enough and try as hard as i may, it just never seems right.

i havent really been thinking much today. and i had a good laugh at val's place just now, with all the spastic nonsense flying around. now when im sitting alone in my room, i just know i need to settle this. figure out whats wrong and just stop feeling so terrible. filled with all the fullness of God. (:

sometimes people ask me why i bother. why i even try. sometimes i stop and ask myself why too. but well, i do know, deep down inside my heart. that i dont want to be mediocre. i want to attempt great things and do all things to the praise of His glory. and NOTHING is gonna stop me. yea! haha. (: