i just watched 'alot like love' and i think its a really sweetsweet story. i also liked serendipity alot. but these are all fairytale-like concoctions of love, and the endings are always good. haha i wonder if i'll know when i meet mr perfect. or maybe i do know him i just dont know it. okay smack me im being sappy. the after-effects of such shows.

ive been sick for the past week and not being able to eat chocolate, ice cream or kfc is really one of the saddest feelings on earth. and the fact that cherie is gone. and weibo left today. and yvette is not coming back for a long time! but im just gonna be happy that rah is coming back soon.

i think sometimes, the Lord teaches us lessons in ways we can never understand. sometimes, things happen that you need to get off your chest but you dont know how to. you dont know where to start or how to say it. today, i ate cheesecake at coffee bean while jinglin sat opposite me trying to guess what i needed to say with no direction whatsoever. and im thankful for friends who answer you and come down to save you when they were previously sitting at home eating a big bag of twisties and watching dance vids on youtube. all my life ive had friends who have looked after me and well, figuratively speaking, 'saved' me from the ills of our world. haha i think thats why benliew always gives me that 'HUH YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?!' look when someone says some vulgarity that i dont understand. or val will look at me and ask 'why're you so stupid!! i need to teach you about life.' or thea just looks at me and gives her asthma-attack laugh and goes 'racha-eeel!'.

i dont like what i see of the world, but i know thats why we all need God. i met a few people during conference that gave me some hope that perhaps the next generation still has a handful of lights. (:

person A: he's not very worldly-wise or academically 'smart' by the world's standards. but he is the most earnest person i have ever come across. pastor's first few msges of the youth conference was about invitation into the Kingdom of Heaven. and i think that was a concept he was grappling with alot, because he told me he doesnt feel ready to walk through the gates of the Kingdom and that he wanted to be really really really sure about everything before he could accept this invitation. and i could see he wanted to, with his whole heart. and though he remained at his seat on consecration night, that was a gesture that i really appreciated. i have no doubt that some stood up because others did, but he didnt. he sat, he waited, and he sought. and when he sings, i see the joy that SHINES on his face. just, amazing. and He promises that when we seek with our whole heart, we will find. in time. (:

person B: she's so bubbly and sweet it was such a joy talking to her over lunch on one of the days. and in her i see faithfulness. i see slow, but steady growth. and i like to see when people come with the right reasons. when i dont get textbook answers when i ask my favorite question 'so how has conference been for you?' when i get a different sort of answer, and i see the sparkle in their eyes, i know this one is different. and i appreciate that so much (:

person C: he's the typical ac-boy type. haha dont ask me what type that is, theres just a type. but i saw tears, and i saw change. pastor distinguished between the sorrow of the world and the sorrow that leads to repentence, and he emphasized that not all tears mean that a person has been touched. so while i see this and am glad, i hope its seed that falls on good ground and takes strong root. (:

i need to be thinking more about Christmas. i want to see something different about it this year, and find my own special reason for celebrating it yet again.

on the way home from meeting jonglong [thank you dear i love you :')] someone came up to me to ask for directions, and on the bus he asked me whether there were any good discos [question: isnt 'discos' a little outdated? i only hear 'clubs' nowadays.] in singapore. haha i was tempted to say 'sorry wrong person to ask' but i just said i didnt know. then he asked me 'youre old enough, shdnt you be going now?' i was tempted to start a long speech about my reasons why i dont go but i smiled and said 'i go to church.' haha i think that was a good reason. but the moment i said it i sorta regretted it cos in retrospect it did sound a little fierce but. oh well. it saved me from formulating a speech. heh.

YES I AM WELL ENOUGH TO SING TOMORROW!!!!! i love. bethany (: