Your love amazes me.

people look and say. "you're faithful, everything you should be"
they say "you have been there, when it counted, you've given unselfishly."
Lord, i hear what they're saying, and for the moment i believe.
but then my heart cries out in honesty-

no more than i've given,
im amazed You still love me.
its hard to imagine how You can see,
past all of my inconsistencies
and every holy intervention,
is just another grace extension
no more than i've given,
Lord your love amazes me.

i've never questioned one time, Your love, Lord
its so apparent to me.
even when i was down, You were with me
You loved consistently
its just when i start comparing, what i give to what You gave
im overwhelmed with wonder,
and i have to say-

no more than i've given,
im amazed You still love me.
its hard to imagine how You can see,
past all of my inconsistencies
and every holy intervention,
is just another grace extension
no more than i've given,
Lord your love amazes me.

Lord, Your love amazes me.

haha i am amazed at myself too. i wrote out the song lyrics relying on my ho-ley memory. we sang this song during sunday school. we havent sang it since..many months ago. but the lyrics struck me again, hard. how often we take for granted this love that He gives so freely. when the things of life seem to shine so much brighter and His love and His presence seems to pale in comparison. and then there are the times when youre fooled into thinking youre okay, and complacency sets in. you think going to church every sunday is enough. you think serving in those little ways are enough. of maybe youre just content to be a pew-warmer, and every sunday you leave church with the same amount of emptiness in you as when you stepped in.

im still learning, to let each day be a day to allow His love to fill my life. for Him to teach me what it means to give to others the love that He has given to me. i still have alot to learn i know, but well. never stop trying (: i was talking to pastor mitch on sat and we were talking about the theme for conference- the Kingdom of Heaven. i never realised HOW MANY TIMES the theme of the Kingdom of Heaven appears in the book of matthew, and the other gospels as well. i started on pastor's hw to count the number of times the phrase the 'Kingdom of Heaven' appears in the book of matthew. im at chapter 6 now and i think i alr counted more than 10 times. and thats before Jesus starts telling manymany parables where the recurring theme is 'the Kingdom of Heaven.' pastor mitch said another recurring theme is the concept of 'the Son of Man'. ive yet to look. but i think im gonna be dumbfounded when i start. haha cos i realise how NOT OBSERVANT i am when i read the Bible. i fail to read into the depth of it. and i dont see the linkages between all the different aspects. i better try harder. haha

another thought i have is with regards to another song we sang during the pre-conference programme on sat. [torts in the morning was horrific, by the way. almost fainted cos i had five mins to deal with the causes of action chan had with regards to the fire that destroyed his house. FAINT.]


heart of worship

When the music fades and all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart

I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry, Lord, for the things I've made it
When it's all about You
All about You, Jesus

King of endless worth, no one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor, all I have is Yours
Every single breath

this was one of my favorite songs during a period of time. and it never fails to remind me that the central focus of our worship and, for that matter, our lives, should be Jesus alone. (:

dont choose wrong. you have one chance. thought. contracts is not gonna get in the way of my preparation for conference or Christmas [and the kids programme!] or the Christmas concert. cos contracts does not matter. nonono. not more than this. (: and great joy! that comes along with it.

pastor said if you discover Him, you will find true joy. a joy that ONLY YOU will understand. people will think youre mad and extreme and whatever. but you will understand. and that will be all that matters. (: