sometimes you know, its really hard to get yourself into the right frame of mind.
thea just wrote an entire blog post about an uncertain future.
and that is exactly what scares me. every minute of every day it scares me.
its not really death that scares me, its what happens if i dont die.
what happens every minute of every day.

and i cant help it that this song keeps popping up in my mind.

all the world is longing, to know security.

especially me.
cos im a worrier. i worry about anything and everything.
all the time.
i like my life planned out,
and it unnerves me when things dont go according to plan.
ive been praying about/ working on this for years, and though its gotten better,
sometimes i still feel unsettled about everything.

and i think pretty much the only thing that keeps me sane is the knowing that God's love never changes.
i liked love actually a lot. there was a lot of pretty, romanticized notions of love.
love that transcends language, coolness factor (see the little boy and girl in the show) and whatnot.
ive not learnt to appreciate the full extent of the Lord's love.
its stability, its constancy, its fullness.
and, i think, its only when you learn to appreciate the Lord's love do you really, truly realise that people are not perfect.
and when you can really, truly, love others with His love
a love that expects nothing in return.

so while i am learning these lessons,
i am learning what it means to pray.
today's PM msg was excellent.

"Lord, what is man that You take knowledge of him?
or the son of man, that You are mindful of him?
Man is like a breath. His days are like a passing shadow." -Psalm 144:3-4