i think the older i grow, exams have become less and less important to me. im freaking out a little over equity and public law, but those are just periodic moments of stress. im either in an extremely sian of studying mood, or i keep thinking i have to make better use of my time.

i was talking to a friend recently, and he said to me that he feels like time is running out. he wakes up every morning and he feels like time is running out. what does it mean for time to 'run out'? ive never really thought about that. cos i know in my heart that time never runs out, cos eternal life began from the moment i accepted Him into my heart.

My father's house on high, home of my soul, how near at times to faith's foreseeing eye the golden streets appear - James Montgomery

huiyi passed away last night. ed told me about it this morning, and i received an sms from bethany about the news. i didnt quite know how to respond. i knew she was suffering and i knew the end was near, but it never struck me that it would be so soon. i never met her. never spoke to her. but i knew much about her. from t chiew yen's sharing, from the pastors. and perhaps it struck me because i have been praying for her. i have to admit, the reality of prayer has never been so clear in my life until now.

i attended the vigil service at 8pm. p16 of the bulletin reads 'till we meet again. testimony of Huiyi, as shared with Mrs Lai Chung Han.' im not gonna type her entire testimony out, it would take too long. but as i read, my eyes filled with tears. not with sadness, as the pain most funerals bring, but with peace and joy for i read the words of one who had a full heart and great joy as she approached the end of her life.

the part that struck me the most, read

"and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. then He said to me, 'Write, for these words are true and faithful.' - Revelation 21:4-5
by faith, i embrace this hope

the last 6 words struck me. 'by faith, i embrace this hope.'
t chiew yen went up to say a few words and as she shared, she said 'faith is a special gift.'

how true. many think faith is for the weak- but as you read huiyi's words, her words speak of life, and hope, and joy, and peace and strength. we all suffer from unbelief, and 'belief' never really crosses our minds. but if we stop at unbelief, we have not considered the possibility of faith in God. and what a great loss that would have been.

some people need proof. how do you know the Bible is real? how do you know Jesus lived? how do you know He rose from the dead? some people never get past that, cos they leave the questions unanswered. seek out the answer, do yourself some justice. faith in the Lord is not blind, it is a reasoned, grounded, unshakeable faith. CS Lewis described himself as a 'reluctant believer'. some people come to faith fast, some need answers before they believe. whichever it is, the gift of faith is real and precious, and i saw it tonight, on those 3 pages in the bulletin. and the strength with which a 24 year old girl, at the prime of her life, faced death with triumph.