"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

- Proverbs 31:30

i have always, always always always loved this verse. because it encapsulates the essence of what a Christian woman should be- what it means to fear the Lord and have Him in our hearts. the inane things of the world that dont matter much. i received the biggest compliment in the world when i received a card from a friend in sec4 where she wrote and told me that she thought me of when she read this verse. hhaha. i almost fell over when i read that card cos i know myself so well, and i know how infinitely far away from this ideal i am.

sometimes, by His grace, i truly do desire the things of Heaven. i thirst for the truth of His Word. but when my own sinful nature takes over, i weary of eternal things. i want immediate satisfaction. i want my life to go my way. and these are the moments that are the hardest to bear. they are the saddest, most far away from God, most despondent moments in my life- when i try to take over after having tasted of the goodness of the Lord.

i finally finished reading the case for faith today. and these are the final two thoughts that struck me:

1. if you dont want to believe something, YOU WILL EXPLAIN IT AWAY.

Lee strobel writes on p254 of the case for faith-
I told Willard about the time when my newborn daughter was rushed into intensive care because of a mysterious illness that was threatening her life. the doctors werent able to diagnose it. even though i was an atheist, i was so desperate that i actually prayed and implored God -if he existed- to heal her. a short time later, she astounded everyone by suddenly getting completely better. the doctors were left scratching their heads.

"My response", i told Willard, "was to explain it away. I said 'What a coincidence! She must have had some bacteria or virus that spontaneously disappeared.' I wouldnt even consider the possibility that God had acted. Instead, i stayed in my atheism."

2. A note to chuck templeton, who 'lost his faith' when he saw a photo of a woman suffering.

Chuck, I hope you'll take to heart what Proverbs 2:3-5 says: "if you scream for insight and call loudly for understanding, if you pursue it like you would money, and search it out as you would hidden treasure, then the Lord will be awesome to you, and you will come into possession of the knowledge of God."

ive heard too many of my friends create hypotheticals for me. if God appeared in front of me and told me Jesus is the truth, i would believe. if i was rushing to catch a plane and i missed it because of some accident, and the plane crashed shortly after, i would believe. would you really?

God gave us free choice. free choice to choose Him or reject Him. free choice to love Him or hate Him. there is no middle ground. you're either with Him or you scatter abroad.

but if you come to Him with a broken heart and cry out with all the strength of your spirit- i believe He hears you. just as He hears me in the moments of my deepest pain. and He will reach out to you and heal your heart just like He does mine. and in the moments that i forget- Lord i believe, help my unbelief.