Random

i need to say also that i love my brother. mark leong han yang mwacks.
today we had a conversation about the events of the past few weeks.
you know there are seasons in your life that you pray for certain things.
and when the season passes you move on to praying for other things.
and i was amazed when he told me that he was still praying. and that he would keep on praying. when i was unable, he prayed. when i am unable, he prays.

SO FATS I LOVE YOU TO BITS. (ps, after going to the gym everyday for the past 3 weeks, my brother is very fit now, no longer fat. its just a term of endearment.)

Serious

Pastor challenged us to do 3 things this junior camp

1. see God's hand
2. pray
3. hold the children in our hearts

i was struck especially by the third. hold them in your heart. oftentimes my heart is filled with self. my issues, my problems, my difficulties, my struggles, me me me me me, all the time.

2 passages from the Psalms struck me last night.

"Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul,
Like a weaned child with his mother;
Like a weaned child is my soul within me.

-psalm 131:2

"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
And in His word I do hope.

My soul waits for the Lord
More than those who watch for the morning—
Yes, more than those who watch for the morning."

-psalm 130:5-6

i like the second because it gives assurance and hope to the one that waits on the Lord. the morning will surely come though its night all around. and yet the one that waits for the Lord has an even greater assurance than one who waits for the morning. now how amazing is that?

if my soul is truly calmed and quieted within me, the focus will no longer be self, and i will have lots of space in my heart for the little ones.

josh. (joshkoh@hotmail.com) 10:17
haha yes lor!
its at your church?

rach. we're the non-judging breakfast club. 10:19
haha yea..
its gonna be overflowing with sweethearts (:

josh. (joshkoh@hotmail.com) 10:22
.....
hahahahaha
u are beaming with excitement
which is all good
hahaha

i prayed that i would be able to hold them in my heart, as paul held the members of the philippian church. (phil1:7) i prayed that i would learn to love them as He does. not just the way i love them now (which is i love them when they're sweet, give me hugs, make me laugh, hold my hand, laugh their high-pitched laughs..) but to love them when they cry, when they throw fits and tantrums, when they refuse to eat their food, when they dont listen when God's Word is being preached, when they pretend to be sick, when they dont wanna play "stupid games" and the list goes on and on.

but then i remember He loves me when i ask Him why. when i pester Him with my incessant crying and pleading and whining for things He knows better than to give me. when i throw fits and scream into my pillow and hit it and ask why. (btw i dont do such things very often just in case you think im psycho. haha) and then He gets me up, helps me stand.

my heart was so blessed by this. aunty sent me her blog address and its just inspiring to read what she writes. just stand, He tells me. hold MY hand, dont let anyone else hold it, dont let anyone else lead you, just hold onto Me, and it will all be good. not even okay, good.

so as i learn to help them, guide them, love them, hold their hand, i will have His love in mind, and hold them in my heart as i pray for the salvation of each one. pray for the camp committee please, we will need lots of that (: