so today i missed my first plane flight ever.. and the story is so retarded im not gonna post it else everyone is just gonna jack me for the rest of my life. and i miss my mom. cos then she would tell me to go to the gate half an hour early. and i wouldnt have missed my flight. she would have told me to check my plane ticket again to make sure i got the boarding time right, and i wouldnt have thought that the time the flight leaves was the boarding time. oh boy oh boy oh boy. missing your flight is super ultra traumatizing i cant emphasize it enough.

these are the moments that make me miss everybody i love :'( i wish my friends were here with me to give me 10000x100000 hugs to make me feel better. missing your flight has got to be the horriblest feeling in the whole entire world..i cant breathe properly from running. my throat hurts. im coughing dry coughs.. my nose is running.. my head is spinning.. AND IM MISSING THE BLACK FRIDAY SALE! haha. but serious all the above symptoms are getting to me. i think that comes from running at 100000miles/hr toward the gate when you see the GATE CLOSED sign flashing.

but im really thankful. God has been very good to me. i didnt have to pay extra to take the next flight, which a mean receptionist would have charged me for, in fact i met such a nice one which calmed me (slightly) when i started freaking out like an idiot.

amidst all my stupidity He has given me so, so much. last night i lay awake (in my nice comfy bed unlike the black sofa at the seattle international airport haha) and i ran through the past year in my head. and it struck me that my life is so, so, so complete. i have everything that i ever wanted.. (not money though hahahaha but thats unimportant). despite the little hiccups along the way, my life is more complete than i could ever dream of.

a year or two ago when i asked for something, God knew i wasnt ready. but because i kept asking and asking, He gave me a taste of what i knew i didnt want.. when all this while He could have given me exactly what He intended for me - if i had only waited for it. just like it says in psalm 62 - truly my soul silently waits for God, from Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; i shall not be greatly moved.

its 1247am. im sitting on a couch at seattle international airport, tired out of my wits. but my heart is full.. my hands are full (with 1000msn windows open) hahaha. because my God is so good.. so good! (: