yesterday was qte horrible it was supposed to be FUN i mean meeting all the 4dgians for the first time in like four months but i think all the things i had on my mind spoilt the entire evening for me. i WAS moping i swear i havent done that in years and grouching away grrrr annoying k i was trying so hard NOT to but i couldnt help it..

but anyway GERI TO THE RESCUE haha when we sat on the bench outside of everything her in her rj shirt and me in my ac uniform she never pressured me to say anything but after awhile everything just came out and i think now she knows more than i've told anyone in the past two weeks. and her shoulder's pretty comfortable too heh anymore i probably would've started crying. and really that half an hour or so that we talked [ok I talked] i just knew it was His way of telling me "I'm still here. I'm listening to you and when you feel like you cant go on, I'm still here." He reminds me always through the people that show me love and concern that He's there for me and He loves me no matter the circumstance i find myself in. though sometimes i wonder why He gives me something and then takes it away, i know one things for sure- its never to hurt me. He doesnt ever take pleasure in sending us through trials, the one and only reason why He does that is so that we can be purified, and come forth as gold. and through every experience He makes me stronger, He teaches me the lessons He wants me to learn so that my faith over time can be strengthened, and He gives me these little sufferings so that i can gain access to more people. when you've been through more stuff it makes it easier for you to relate to others cos then what you say makes more sense cos you've "felt the same way before." and somehow though right now i cant see why this road, why this way and this load. i dont know how far i must go, till i see, till i know why this road. i know He knows- and thats all that matters.

im real bad with relationships secfour year was fine cos there werent people problems, just studies problems and i swear those are SO much easier to deal with. but now once again when people problems turn up i think back on what i've gone through and i realise HEY i can deal with this, i've been through it before, and i can make it through again. this time, better, stronger and more focused on Him (:

this is my prayer- to keep walking, in His steps.