im in the midst of making Christmas cards now and yea i was just thinking. rarh i've been praying for alot of wisdom lately and the courage to make good choices and keep seeking, keep trusting, keep holding onto His promises (: and its hard. i dont see it now but im sure He has good plans for all this. ahah im rambling again

ohoh im reading 'teach me to pray' now and it puts prayer in a completely new light and i guess believing so much more in the power of prayer really does change your perspective of life. camp itself was wonderful but im still struggling with the sin problems in my life: pride, envy, doubt and a long list of goodness-knows-what-else. and i can just see the evil one all equipped and ready to yank me out of what i have sought to anchor myself in- and i am NOT GOING TO LET HIM. so there!

i finished reading deuteronomy [though im still having trouble recalling half of it bah] and im on joshua now and the Lord's providence and His wrath is so real and evident and i refuse to be like the rebellious nation of israel i just want to seek and obey.

thinking back on the issue of predestination which pastor mitch touched on during camp. its something i will never fully understand but it really, really cuts when i look around me and i know half the people i know and love arent believers yet. when i pray for open hearts and open minds i pray really differently from the way i normally pray- i guess its cos i see the urgency and i've seen with my own eyes the way God can transform. but i really want to pray that way, regardless of the circumstance. matthew seven:seven "ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened to you."

i've got my hands on redemption's side.

Christmas is coming! the peace [and joy!] that passes understanding (: