i have manymanymanymanymanymany thoughts to pen [or type] down now. haha now i need to practise the skills ive been learning in lawr. write the topic/thesis statement at the start of every paragraph so your reader knows the purpose youre trying to bring across in each paragraph. AHH im mad sorry youre not gonna get that haha.

my thoughts were turned back to this song during our attempted sunday school class meeting to discuss our chairing on sunday -_- but anw

Whatever You ask

Lord, i see the things You ask of me
faithfulness, holiness and purity.
i love Your truth,
i want to show it to the world for You.

and Lord i need Your help to understand
the other person that i sometimes am
and i never want to live a day
where i cant say to You-

"Lord, whatever You ask
i want to obey You
to let my life beat with a servant's heart
Lord whatever You ask
i know that You can give me wisdom
and courage to equal the task
Lord, whatever You ask."

Lord i face so much that steals away
the will to make the time to serve or pray
but when my strength is gone i know that You're right there
providing me with the strength i need

"Lord, whatever You ask
i want to obey You
to let my life beat with a servant's heart
Lord whatever You ask
i know that You can give me wisdom
and courage to equal the task
Lord, whatever You ask."

the past few days have been strangely taxing for no apparent reason. and i keep going to school and feeling like the life is just being sucked out of me everyday. and i keep turning back to different sections of psalm16. today i made a special prayer for God's preservation and protection:

"preserve me, o God, for in You i put my trust." -psalm16:1

i read 'you shall be witnesses' for morning devotions today, and well i think the Lord is trying to tell me something. haha ive reached the part where it talks about the persecution of the apostles as they sought to preach the name of Jesus. and i got referred back to my favorite inspirational two verses, acts5:41-42 about how the apostles, after being beaten and released by the Sanhedrin council departed praising God and rejoicing that they were COUNTED WORTHY to suffer for His sake. and i kept trying to remind myself to keep my focus and set my mind on the things that He wants me to do, but the entire day i just couldnt do it. all i could think about was 'i can only imagine when all i will do is forever, forever worship You.' and all i wanted to do was just scream I QUIT and never go back to school ever again. by the time i reached city hall for our attempted class meeting i was [according to rie] in a completely NEHNEH mood and absolutely uncooperative whatsoever. and i was ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

but i failed to see, that my worship of the Lord here, now is not the same as the worship i will give Him when i finally see Him face to face. the worship i give Him here, now, is the way i use my life, the way i utilise my talents and gifts- to the praise of His glory. the way i lean on Him for strength, the way i trust that everything is going to be fine, cos MY GOD is in control. the worship i can give to Him now is in learning to love, unconditionally with the love He gave and continues to give to me. (:

"and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." -romans8:28

its a great comfort to my heart. and of course the famous romans8:37-39 about how nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God. (:

haha daryl just sent me a link to some senior's website about law school and its really hilarious but well. i am NOT intending to let myself go insane in law school!

'Because, see, law school makes you insane. There are no exceptions. Soon you will be nuts.

And it comes on slowly at first; you'll be at a party with other first years (note: in my experience, "partying with other first years" will only occur immediately after you turn in your first major memo, because prior to that, you are all too terrified to Funk). Someone will fall over during a keg stand, or fall down a flight of stairs, or SOME accident will occur, and instead of calling the party foul, as would be appropriate in such an instance, one of your classmates will instead turn to the group and say, "That is a tort."

And you will AGREE. And you will LAUGH. Because it is TRUE.

Now. You have just passed an important milestone! At this point, your soul is dead. Sorry.'

haha i thought the tort one was really funny! [im sorry but this is a joke only law first years will understand ] but well i am not intending to go insane. and because i am almost on the verge of it, i am going to pray twentythousandtimes more often and rely so much more on His strength. i remember praying so veryveryvery hard that when i click the button on the screen that says 'application results' that i would not see 'accepted into the school of business for academic year 2006-2007'. this is not because business is bad! its an excellent faculty but just because i wanted law. and because i asked for this, I WILL NOT COMPLAIN. i will not. i asked for it and He gave it to me because He loves me and He knows i can do this. all things work together for good. i still have my great ideals about being a good, moral and just lawyer and i do not intend to flush these ideals down the toilet because theres a voice somewhere in my head that tells me im not good enough and i should just quit now. NO WAY. not now, not ever!

im just really thankful for the little ways the Lord reminds me that He loves me. today, two things struck me. the beautifulll blue sky i stared up to when i was walking out of school, and the support and encouragement and rebuke from auntie/ riejusliling outing (:

i need to appreciate so much more what it means to be His special people. and i need to understand its worth- when the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. (: