about 2 days ago i got to thinking about one of the unresolved people issues in my life. i am not by nature a very forgiving person, and i do not take it well when i suffer something i perceive to be an injustice to myself. im not a yeller nor one for confrontation, but i remember these things, i think about them and very often they eat me up inside for a considerable period of time (i think part of this has to do with this worrying streak inside me). eventually, of course, by God's grace, i am taught to let go of them.

but anyway back to the topic. as i reflected on the incident and mulled over how i could make things better, i realised that i had to think long and hard about why i was feeling indignant, and it took me awhile to piece together the various bits of why i was unhappy with x and vice versa. and for some reason i no longer felt a desire to explain or justify my intentions on certain issues that seemed to have been misconstrued by x. all i wanted to do was think of a way to make things better, cos it really doesnt matter who's right and who's wrong. praise God that all hurt has been healed in my heart! praise God that He is beginning to teach me to overlook the little, unimportant, unhappy things, and focus on the big plan He has for my future.

how apt that i reached this passage in my reading of 1 Corinthians yesterday.

"But for me it is a very small thing that i should be judged by you or by a human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself.

For I know of nothing against myself, yet I am not justified by this; but He who judges me is the Lord.

Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one’s praise will come from God."

- 1 Corinthians 4:3-5

i love how paul says 'it is a VERY SMALL THING that i shd be judged by you...'. that speaks volumes about his character, His love for the Lord and the depth of His understanding about the Lord and of Christ. it doesnt matter much what weight i hold in your eyes..it only matters what weight i hold in His. so i guess as i thought and prayed about it, His answers were pretty forthcoming.

at choir that night we sang a song called 'He will supply'. and truly He will! that same night i shared my thoughts on this with a friend..and the encouragement was priceless. (:

"Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful." - 1 Corinthians 4:2

and i pray He keep me faithful! (: