today at approximately 445pm i was walking home from the bus stop (after a day of real property and a rather horrendous french exam), when i realized that it was a beautiful day! the sun was shining and it wasnt cloudy and the temperature was AWESOME- it could not have been more than 7degrees. so on a whim i decided to drop my stuff at home, grab my ipod, my Bible and my camera and head off to the nearby park/playground. (yea, the same one i went to a couple months ago when i first got here and swore that i would go there everyday - this is my third ACTUAL time there.)

when i first stepped into the park/playground, the sun was shining straight into my eyes. and as i made my way to the other end of it, i was half expecting the glare of the sun to somewhat..disappear. but there it was, shining straight into my eyes, as bright as ever. you know that feeling you get that the sun is following you everywhere? haha well thats how i felt today. and suddenly something clicked within me. you know how we say God is omnipotent? He is exactly like the sun. He is bigger than us. so much bigger than we could ever imagine - just like the sun. because He is so unfathomable and so mighty, we fail to understand why it seems like He follows us everywhere, how He can appear in every single nook and cranny of our little, self-absorbed lives. and just like the sun, He has the ability to shine right into our eyes, into the dark places of our hearts and remove the murkiness within.

i said a quick prayer in my head. i prayed that i would not leave without hearing a Word that would fill my heart. so i got there, and went straight for the swings (honestly the best things in the world). and whaddya know, 'lifesong' by casting crowns starts playing..and then 'in me'.

how refreshing to know You dont need me,
how amazing to find that You want me.
so i'll stand on Your truth and i'll fight with Your strength,
till You bring the victory -
by the power of Christ in me.

i look around and realise that everything looks exactly the same as when i first got here. yet for me, so many things have changed.

i arrived in victoria 5 months ago with a broken heart. mid-2008 was the time that i left all the things that were familiar to me. and it wasnt just me that left, a couple things left me too. but yet amidst inexplicable sadness in my heart, there was much anticipation - for a new life, a new year, a new experience. i remember praying for healing..i remember praying for providence..and i remember praying for grace.

as the months progressed, He sent me reminders, time and time again. reminders that He's watching over me, that He's got a wonderful plan for me, that He cares for me and He sends His love. i sit here, five months later, and my heart is full to tell of His love for me.

i read 1 Peter 1:1-12 during my time-out at the park/playground before it got too cold. and it was such a wonderful, wonderful reminder of the preciousness of our salvation.

an inheritance undefiled. though you do not see Him, rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory! of this salvation the prophets have inquired and searched carefully. these are things which angels desire to look into



when i took this picture i tried all ways and means to capture the cute little yellow house. but try as i might, the backlight from the sun was too blinding to capture the details of that little house. the flash wouldnt work, changing modes wouldnt work, nothing would. and when i finally gave up..i was reminded that this is the way i want my life to be. i want Christ to shine through me so they see His light.. and not get distracted by the 'little yellow house' of me. i want my life to be such that no matter how many man-made flashes of light are created, i never let myself get distracted and i never skip a beat. that there will always be a steady stream of Christ's light shining through me.

its so hard though. when worry kicks in and the uncertainty of the future gnaws away at the rope of faith that holds me to Him.

but when i look back on these past few months- they have been the most BORING, and yet strangely exciting months of my life. borrowing a line from someone i know, in a slight paraphrase of mine - 'the future is so uncertain, only God knows. there will be grief and pain, but we will laugh, love and live..' i have 20/20 vision when i view things in retrospect, and i see so clearly the Lord's hand in every single aspect of my life.

right from January of 2008 after my first most exciting trip of my life to vietnam (haha of all places) to the first round of applications for exchange. to us being given the option to change our exchange choices (during which time i removed the names of all universities in the europe region and switched them all to canadian universities). to me getting into UVic. the time following up to me leaving. the time after..

i am really looking forward to going home. but at the same time, my heart is learning to be still..as i wait for all that will be revealed in the next 5 months. things that i know will be just wonderful. (: