at the end of the road of all my worries, He once again proves to me that He is the One and Only. Almighty Father, God and King. i am ashamed and reminded again that there was never cause for an ounce of worry, because He holds me in the palm of His hand. because He has a perfect plan. because even if things dont go the way i think it shd, i will find the strength to cope because He promised to bring me through, to never leave me on my own.

thank God, my course registration for this semester has been approved - i have no doubt that this comes only from the grace of the Lord. thank you to all of you that have prayed for me, survived my incessant worrying, encouraged me and prayed with me.

so after this miniature adminstrative nightmare and worrying 'ordeal', God's goodness stands. and it would have stood whether or not i had worried or not. raman says that worrying about all these little things will kill me someday - i honestly suspect this to be one of my likely causes of death. and its in times like these, in retrospect, that i remember again that anything that takes away my faith and trust in the Lord is sin to me. worrying is my downfall. i worry incessantly about anything and everything you could possibly think of. well, not as extreme as chicken little, but well. its bad enough. haha

i think philippians 4:6-7 has to be my theme verse in dealing with this sin problem that i have. during these momentary periods of worry, a lack of faith and trust sets in. but while i was waiting to go for wings last night (canada's most awesome thing ever - WINGS NIGHT. wings for 17cents each, eat yourself silly), i came across this song entitled 'the Altar and the Door' by casting crowns.

the lyrics below are a reflection of how i feel sometimes. how unworthy that i have fallen short, faltered and turned my face from the One who gave His life for me, who promised me life and love and peace.

Careless, I am reckless
I'm a wrong-way-travelin'-slowly-unraveling shell of a man
Burnt out, I'm so numb now
That the fire's just an ember way down in the corner of my cold, cold heart

Lord, this time I'll make it right, here at the altar I lay my life
Your kingdom come but my will was done, my heart is broken as I cry

Like so many times before
But my eyes are dry before I leave the floor, oh Lord
I try but this time, Jesus, how can I be sure I will not lose my follow through
Between the altar and the door

Here at the altar, oh my world so black and white
How could I ever falter
What You've shown me to be right

I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard
Just let You be who You are
Lord, who You are in me
Jesus, I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard
Just let You be who You are
Lord, who You are in me

2008 was a year of firsts - some bad, some good. 2009 is going to be a year of firsts - and im going to make sure that its ALL GOOD.

“That Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith:
That you, being rooted and grounded in love…” Ephesians 3:17

if i have Christ in my heart, i know i can look forward to being a little more steadfast, a little less of a worrier, and a whole lot more like Christ.