haiyaaaaa camp is over :'( eh but i love camp! alot :D i tell you its so God's grace la for the first time in four youth conferences i was ENTIRELY AWAKE during every single session which is like wow cos i get hurm five hours of sleep a night which is half of what i usually sleep ;p heh NO LA but yup (:
i guess through it He really taught me many many lessons, and i guess with me its the great issue of distractions- "for sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under law, but under grace." -romans 6:14 remember something pastor said that really stuck, He loves us just BECAUSE. no reason, just because (:
i know how much next year is going to be a struggle and its reallyreally gonna be a test of faithfulness remembering 2tim2:11-13 even when we are faithless, He remains faithful (: it'll take too long to go through every single day of camp and im not gonna do that cos everything i need to remember is in my little 'yes, i believe!' notebook and my camp folder :D:D
on consecration night, pastor brought up the analogy of bethany being a forest heh very strange but yes that each individual tree doesnt survive on its own but supports other trees in its strengths and is supported by other trees in its weaknesses, basically everyone complementing everyone (: and it really struck me that hey, im not alone. i will NEVER WALK ALONE. with a renewed and strengthened faith and heart of love for the Lord, i gave my life back to Him, all that i am, all that i ever will be, i give it back to You.
we were supposed to sing some songs with the sec threes and fours during the christmas thing at night but i decided not to cos with the time that they spent practising me and rie were in pastor mitch's office talking to Him and i guess ok i KNOW that got me righter with the Lord and being faced upfront with all my fears and yes i know im a very scared little girl, im scared of my heart being hardened, im scared of crossing the line of no return, im scared of walking away, im scared of failing in my commitment, im scared of being overwhelmed with things of the world, im scared my faith wont be able to stand through storms.. basically everything. and im just.. scared.
and yes once again pastor to the rescue heh he said that we shouldnt be focusing on our disabilities but HIS abilities :D which is really qte true e.g. yes when you have doubts, ask but dont keep doubting your faith that you dont spend time growing and cultivating an established and strong faith.
haha and glori came on wednesday! (:(: and got very confused by the number of bens in our church ;p glori YOU MUST COME AGAIN!!!!! :D:D:D
anyway thats besides the point but YEAH i must tell my amazing story about the comfort and love He gives! ahah i cant remember which night it was i was feeling so darned horrid about myself and i needed to cry but i couldnt go back to the dorm to cry so i just sat downstairs buried my head in my sweater and started crying i didnt think it was that obvious but apparently it was cos after i was done crying got up and there was tissue on my Bible and THEN i didnt know whether to continue crying or to start laughing it was so amazing la i still dont know who put that sheet of tissue there BUT i will be content knowing it was a gift from God through someone else which reminded me that He cares even when im a sobbing jittery idiot (:
aldine was also telling us about how the Lord's word should be like a treasure box to us, and should only be opened in full concentration and a heart of love and not any old how, especially when youre tired. which is what i always do! half the time i read i dont really get anything out of it and that so should not be the case. and yea she was telling us how t pat never reads the Bible when shes sleepy cos it isnt giving full respect and honour to His word. which IS true but stupid sin always sneaks in and turns everything around e.g. in our minds we think k im tired so i dont want to read and EVERYDAY you think that and use it as an excuse. what then?
stupid sin stupidddddddd grrrrrrrr.
k i must resist even as i start on Christmas presents now i must not tear my focus away on the reason as to why we all celebrate Christmas. the day Christ Jesus our Lord was born, one small child in a land of a thousand (:
above all powers,
above all kings,
above all nature and all created things,
above all wisdom and all the ways of man,
You were here before the world began.
above all kingdoms,
above all thrones,
above all wonders the world has ever known,
above all wealth and treasures of the earth,
theres no way to measure what You're worth.
crucified, laid behind the stone,
You lived to die,
rejected and alone,
like a rose, trampled on the ground,
You took the fall, and thought of me-
above all.
Lord whatever You ask, i want to obey You, a servants task (:
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