"listen, my beloved brethren, has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs to the kingdom which He has promised to those who love Him?" -james2:5

walking's never easy and i think the biggest thing that really weighs me down now is the serious lack of physical strength. i hardly even get to sleep nowadays and when i do the time periods are so short and definitely not enough for msihavetosleepfifteenhoursaday and all these i guess contribute very much to spiritual weariness and all that. added on to the fact that my temper is getting shorter and shorter and i just keep snapping at people when i get fed up.

butbutbut two verses have helped me control my temper lots of times thru the course of this week "therefore my beloved brethren, be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. for the wrath of man DOES NOT PRODUCE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD." -james1:19-20

sometimes i think back on the times in sec3 and 4, walking just seemed to be alot easier and trusting just seemed to come naturally. and i reallyreally have no idea why its this difficult now.

there is a candle, in every soul. some burning brightly, some dark and cold.

one of the lines in the songs we're singing for anniversary and i really want to be a lighthouse to those around me, and i know i've failed so horribly so miserably so terribly the past few months. but God is greater than our hearts [1john3:20] i look at the many examples of how people having great faith in God could move mountains and touch hearts in so many ways. daniel purposing in his heart [daniel1:8], paul reaching others despite the physical torment he went thru, and even real-life examples like rachel joy scott. reading rachel's tears and rachel smiles really ministered to me in a very special way cos i think in alot of ways i related to the struggles she faced and found difficult to overcome. and yet i look at how God led her and used her in a way that spoke to the hearts of millions. and i know we should never limit God. everything in my life seems small in comparison with the many others in the world and the great plans He has, but He could use a tiny life to do big things and thats what i believe He can do with my life too, what He can do in every one of our lives. even reaching one soul is a great big thing, but why stop at one? when there can be many.

sometimes when i sit and think, i get scared of what the future holds and what it may encompass. but i know its in His hands and no matter how tough it may be, i have hope in Him. hope that looks forward with UTTER CERTAINTY. and really, i dont need to understand (: