tour was beautiful wonderful amazing and i miss it so, so much. :'( i miss my j2s and all my little j1s who are so nice and sweet (: i kinda miss london and prague i guess but not really, i just miss the people. i feel so sad everytime i think about sitting on the bus for hours, the dreadfully long plane ride, singing together in piggots! singing in st giles. singing in the bus, shopping, everything. i just miss every single bit of everything. cass says shes been really emo the past few days and i think we're all in this sappy state of mind and i really do miss you all, just to let you know.

its been hard i guess, readjusting to normal life again, getting myself up and ready to chiong really hard for the a's. but its one of those days again when i feel like burying my head in my pillow and crying my heart out for no apparent reason. all of a sudden everything seems so overwhelming and i feel like i cant handle it. its during times like these that i ask God: why me? in my head i know the answer "'for My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord. 'for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.'" -isaiah55:8-9

been in much prayer lately over how im ever gonna come to terms with the fact that prelims ARE in fifty days and i need to start studying NOW. was just thinking about it just now and im scaring myself. i thought, well if i get b's and c's for A's i really dont care anymore. now thats bad. i know the A's are gonna be even tougher than O's and its smtg i cant deal with on my own, never on my own.

and i know the only way i can get myself out of this rut is if i let Him bring me out of it, cos now im just staying here voluntarily. and so this is my prayer:

Dear God, surround me as I speak,
the bridges that I walk across are weak
Frustrations fill the void that I can't solely bear
Dear God, don't let me fall apart,
you've held me close to you
I have turned away and searched for answers I can't understand

They say that I can move the mountains
And send them falling to the sea
They say that I can walk on water
If I would follow and believe
with faith like a child

Sometimes, when I feel miles away
and my eyes can't see your face
I wonder if I've grown to lose the recklessness
I walked in light of you

They say that I can move the mountains
And send them falling to the sea
They say that I can walk on water
If I would follow and believe
with faith like a child

They say that love can heal the broken
They say that hope can make you see
They say that faith can find a Savior
If you would follow and believe
with faith like a child

wonder how it seemed so easy last time, to follow and believe with faith like a child. but though its hard to follow, still one thing i know. He gave His life to save me, and im never, letting go.