"But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up."

-2 Peter 3:8-10

im in a state of not knowing what the Lord's will is for me at this point of time. what to take up, what not to. and im having bigbig trouble waiting on Him. everytime something happens, i ask WHY. everytime smth doesnt go my way, i ask WHY. and my days are full of whys and its not doing much to make me a happy girl. the past two/three days have been exceptionally trying for no apparent reason and as i sit her typing im staring on what i wrote on my cupboard:

from here i cannot see, why You'd choose this path for me.
but i dont have to understand to believe-
that You know why this road,
why this way, and this load.
You know how far i must go,
till i see, till i know
why this road.

i remember wha pastor said to us during prayer meeting, about the principle drawn from psalm119:105 "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."

lamp. not hugeeee street/searchlight. lamp. to light the way, one step ahead.

and i know no one can help me through this time except the Lord. because people are as such- frail, biased, fickle and completely not-dependable. im not trying to label cos thats how i am too. the Lord is the only one that looks at us and loves with unconditional love, and i need to hold on so much to that love now. so much.

"i want to fall in love with You."