hahah i just finished watching singapore idol. and jonathan leong sang chasing cars!! i was all prepared to give up sixty cents for him. but then i thought about all the trouble he caused in my nus email- all the 'SUPPORT JONATHAN LEONG!' emails, and i changed my mind. hahah my DAD wanted to vote, can you imagine. he must've gone mad! i keep hearing that song everywhere and its such a melancholic song. and i KEEP listening to it on repeat. JIA THIS IS ALL YOUR FOT. whyyyyy did you let me listen to it on youtube :(

lets waste time, chasing cars around our heads.

i keeo coughing and coughing and coughing and coughing i wanna cry :'( please slap me if i ever try to eat ice cream when im having a sore throat :( i think i was awake for about an hour last night having a coughing fit. kept drifting in and out of sleep and coughing and coughing and coughing RARHIE. i hate having to cough.

but well the mid-sem break is finally here! im really thankful cos this was a muchhh-awaited break. somehow the Lord always knows how much i can take (: i realised ive got very many activities piled up in front of me, but i just want to take some time off to reflect. recall, reflect and remember. ive kinda rushed through the past six weeks of school without really knowing whats going on, not knowing what i'd ACTUALLY got myself into when i accepted the offer to enter the law school. and i think in the hustle and bustle of things, some of the world's influence has, somehow or other rubbed off on me. i see my priorities are on the verge of subtly reshuffling themselves, i watch my mind all ready to drift away from the things that really matter, i see myself almost yearning to conform to what most people think is right. i see it, and i know it. i catch myself, yes. i always make sure i ask for strength to make good choices, and most times im able to choose wisely. but i know if i dont take time to recall, reflect and remember, i might as well be standing right in the zone of attack and screaming to the evil one 'COME HIT ME, IM NOT GUARDED!!'

the principle of being watchful was brought up again during service today. watch. watch and pray. matthew24:42, 25:13, 26:41. i was talking to ben t on the bus home today after we met up for zhi's farewell, and i was telling him about school and how ive been meeting a whole lot of new people and all. i just feel like life's no longer as simple as it used to be. [hahah when was it ever but anw.] people just have a thousand different faces and when i meet someone new, im not sure if i can trust the person without second thoughts. i trust people pretty easily, actually and ive realised that more often than not, this character trait of mine is increasingly causing me more detriment than good. ive learnt alot of things the hard way [but not TOO hard, thankfully], and i just worry that when i perceive someone to be of a certain character, one day im just going to be horribly wrong. and what if that wrong judgment of character costs me. like. alot? i dont know, i shudder at the thought.

and i think its times like these that i really learn to appreciate what it means to have the Lord with me through all of life's trials. that even if the world rises up against me, i will be faithful to the choice i have made. i am determined i will not be ashamed, to live so the whole world can see- that yes, i believe. even though ive realised that life isnt as nice or 'perfect' i thought it was, i dont think im going to become some individualistic, self-seeking, paranoid monster that trusts no one. haha. that would be kinda sad. haha i am who i am and i dont think much of that is going to change. hahah i just need much wisdom and the Lord's special protection to keep me away from people/ things that may potentially influence me in the negative sense of the word.

going back to psalm119, in preparation for prayer meeting tmr. teach me to pray. (: