i am mad. i finally finished my closed memo!! and i submitted it like. 32mins before the deadline. that has got to be the ultimate. i am not a lastminute worker! cos i always get heart attacks when im trying to chiong something minutes before its due. its cos STUPID ME forgot about dinner with liling tonight. EEP. jus msged me at 1245 when i was switching off my mac and deciding i could come home after comm meeting and clean up my memo:

'hello! may i know who is coming tonight from your group?'

FAINT NOW. sorry linggg its not that i dont loveee you i do! but i just forgot sigh. I ALMOST FAINTED WHEN I READ THAT MSG. so i restarted my mac and chionged again. and that was not the end of my worries! i brought my laptop to church- and DROPPED IT. -_- kill me now please. hahah wenwen is my angel. cos she touched it and it worked again! hahah i was so thankful ;) after making everyone rush with me through dinner i chionged back at ten to start working on it again. hahah i was praying and praying so hard the silly thing wouldnt screw up on me and really by the Lord's grace it didnt. so I AM THANKFUL. and i will never go out on friday night ever again if theres an assignment due on saturday! EVER.

speaking of friday night. went for some ocs social night and my darling date was wonderful. haha you can ask lifeng, charmelia, christine, sara low ANYBODY. absolutely wonderful. ian you so owe me for going with you and waiting for you for one hour! but anw. I WON A DIGICAM!! hahah. so everything is forgiven. if not ian, YOU WOULD DIE. ahahaha i love my new camera.

hahah after ypg today, i realised i should stop setting assignments for my girls. cos after last week, half of them didnt turn up! hahah out of four, two didnt come. and out of the two that came, one forgot! and all i asked was for them to apply one truth from the Bible into their lives this week :'( haha no la i love them no matter what. i still remember how i was grappling with the concepts of the truth of God's Word and how hard it was to discipline myself in the matter of reading His Word at that age. not that is super easy now but well distractions seemed harder to overcome then. aha.

chasing cars is still stuck in my head! but its such a sad sad song.

every saturday when pastor reminds us of the coming youth conference, im reminded of the concept of 'the kingdom of Heaven'. and i keep asking myself what it really means to me. not what pastor's been teaching us, but what it means TO ME. and i know i need so much grace to seek and search out what this can mean to me. much grace. when im reminded of the big picture, i always think. nothing else really matters but the treasures you store up for yourself in Heaven. im 18, almost 19 now [30th oct!! hahahah] and it'll only take me another. 60 years? to reach the average life expectancy of 78 years old. what am i going to do with my life? hahah since im in law school the LAWgical conclusion would to become a lawyer. [okay, KILL ME NOW. ive been hanging out too much with lame people.] hahah i still remember in sec3 i wanted to be a missionary. and i still kind of do! but im not sure if i can. hahah my theme song for that dream is:

be a missionary everyday!
tell the world that Jesus is the way
the Lord is soon returning, there is no time to lose
Africa or Asia, the choice is up to you so!
be a missionary,
God's own emissary
be a missionary today!

i still remember that we watched some video about poverty in nepal back in SC. and when i came home, i marked nepal with a little black cross on the little globe i got at the church anniversary. haha. maybe one day, i'll get to go and make a difference. but right here, right now. eyes on Him ;)

sometimes i wish we could all learn to love each other with the unconditional love He first offered to us. then there would be no sadness, no strife. just love. hahah i remember ris asking me once: out of faith, hope and love. which is the greatest? and i chose faith. i dont know why. haha but im seeing, slowly how love really is the one that surpasses everything else. love was what placed Him on that cross. show me a garden thats bursting into life (: