i am really really really tired but there is just so much wonder in the book of proverbs i couldnt go to sleep without penning (typing haha) this down

Proverbs 20

v 3 "it is honorable for a man to stop striving,
for any fool can start a quarrel."

wow. wham! in your face. this proverb cuts into your heart like a razor-blade when you recall all those times.. all those times you lost your head and unleashed your wrath on the next unsuspecting victim just cos YOU were having a "bad day". come on. the next time that happens.. any FOOL can start a quarrel. how true.

v 5 "counsel in the heart of man is like deep water
but a man of understanding will draw it out."

this verse is kinda still a mystery to me cos i cant seem to grasp the full essence of it..just some food for thought to ponder. it sounds so profound i cant quite get my finger on it.

v 15 "there is gold and a multitude of rubies,
but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel."

this verse really struck me today. as i read my books on apolegetics, on Christian philosophy, i am amazed at the width and depth of knowledge these writers have of the Word of God. and i remember. apolegetics is just the seasoning, the gospel is the main course. that has challenged me in a fresh new way to study the Bible with new fervor, to look to knowing it and being able to wield it with skill and precision. my knowledge must come from the book of life. it must!

v 21 "an inheritance gained hastily at the beginning,
will not be blessed at the end."

v 24 "a man's ways are of the Lord;
how then can a man understand his own way?"

oh.. this brought back floods of memories. why oh why did i choose to take things into my own hands, to reach forward and take what was not mine to take at that point of time? so apt, in the light of the story of the forbidden fruit the children were taught this week during crosswalk.

v 22 "do not say 'i will recompense evil';
wait for the Lord, and He WILL save you.

wow. He will save you. what a great, what a lofty, what a true and unchanging promise.

but this verse takes the cake-

v 30 "blows that hurt cleanse away evil,
as do stripes the inner depths of the heart.

this is a principle that has been closing in on me this entire year. when waves of hurt come, when the difficulties and the struggles head your way, ask yourself what lesson you must learn, what cleansing do you need, how strong must you become?

today i had a conversation with a friend that.. well in a lot of ways propelled me forward to seek the Lord so much deeper in prayer. for the depths of healing that close communion with our Lord can bring far surpasses any length of time or space or human encouragement. cos that's just the way He made us. just like a mouse needs his cheese, a cat needs her milk. like a bumblebee and a flower, like a lolli and a pop, like a flippity and a flop! He made us to fit Him. just like how cough medicine cannot cure cancer, so the remedies we come up with in an attempt to self-medicate are just never enough.

sometimes i look inside me and i see me for just.. well, me. my heart is black like everyone elses', it is dark and selfish and will seek its own any chance it gets. but as i hang on, as i pray for His light to shine in my heart, as i watch His crimson blood wash my heart to a pure, unblemished white. as i stand in His light, i know it gets better.. it always does. it always, always will.