i was talking to a friend recently about the superficiality of good looks. and we decided that people generally "become" better looking, when they become your friends. (and so, be my friend and you'll be beautiful to me HAHA). and over these past few weeks, each of my friends has become more and more beautiful/handsome in my eyes, even though the pixels on skype suck.

haha. i think being away from home has taught me to appreciate all the things in my life so much more. the FOOD (zoomggg i miss oyster omelette, bar chor mee, char kway teow, prawn mee, zoommgggg), my family (coming home and feeling the warmth of the house and fooooooodddddddd), my friends.

and so every night when i utilize skype and msn to the maximum with multiple windows open at once, i have to stop and count my blessings. there are a couple reasons why that struck me today - skyping with my best friend about the most random things + having the most honest, most retarded conversation in the world with one of my closest friends. (seriously, some things i feel retarded even thinking abt, let alone typing on msn about. but with friends like these who never judge, it gets easy after awhile :)

tonight, i spent some time reading the first half of proverbs 19, and the Lord's Word has an amazing way of piercing through the veil of your heart.

v 3 "The foolishness of a man twists his way,
and his heart frets against the Lord."

this truly was an in-the-face reminder of my moments of rebellion. when i think that my way is better, and i refuse to follow His way. thank God for my conscience, which He uses, through the medium of the Holy Spirit, to nudge me time and again. i shudder to think of the possible consequences if i had rebelled to the point that the Holy Spirit stopped speaking. how apt. a twisted way, fretting. the Word of God truly is a double-edged sword, it cuts to the depths of your heart.

v 14 "Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers,
but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

hahahahahahahahaaaaaaHA. this verse made me laugh. hahaha. not cos i think its ridiculous, but cos i am amazed at the truth of this matter. this verse made me think of two conversations i had with two separate friends recently. the first was on the subject of praying for a good Christian husband/wife. how do you really go about praying for that? i mean, the issue is so complex where do you even start.. hahaha. my mom tells me she has been praying for me since goodness knows when, but i fully admit that i have yet to start praying about this on my own. SO I REALLY OUGHTA START hur. the second conversation i had was some nonsense conversation about the prov31 wife. haha. a wife of beauty and virtue and value, priceless in the eyes of her family and the watching world. and it occurred to me that before i begin praying for a good Christian husband (that i truly believe will be a gift from the Lord if it ever happens), i ought to cultivate my own spirit before the Lord such that i can be a blessing to my husband and add to his faith, not diminish it (like the contentious woman! v13 that is scary stuff man haha).

and i think this song by brooke fraser is so apt haha
but ANW, that was probably my comic relief of the night! hurrr :D

but my crowning thought of the night is really a very strange interaction of a few verses in proverbs 19.

v 5 and v 9 state, respectively:
"...and he who speaks lies will not escape."
"... and he who speaks lies shall perish."

this very clearly sets out the fact that God is just. He CANNOT allow lies to go unpunished. (and because one of my pet peeves is lying and i find it so hard to respect liars, these verses made me quite happy. cos all liars will be zapped by God at the end of life's day hurhur. ok sorry im being a false teacher here ignore that)

v 8 "He who gets wisdom loves his own soul;
He who keeps understanding will find good."

v 11 "The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger;
and his glory is to overlook a transgression.

God says that liars will be punished. but reading the psalm from v 1-11, that has nothing to do with me. or you, for that matter. the facts are stated: the wicked/liars will be punished. but God says to us: go, get wisdom. keep understanding. in other words He implies - judgment is a matter for me. you go, you do the best you can do with your life.

but the verse that did it all for me is v11. after we get wisdom and keep understanding, we possess this quality called 'discretion'. with the prompting of discretion, that stems from a wealth of God-given wisdom, a Christian's glory is to OVERLOOK a transgression. not to judge it as God does (and only God can because He is perfect and unblemished). but to overlook it. to forgive.

what evil can man do to you that has not been done to Christ Himself? perfect as God and Man, He came and bore the weight of our broken, sinful world on His shoulders.

i have no doubt that God knew i needed to hear this message in my heart today. and i look forward to how He will, through the Holy Spirit, weave forgiveness through my heart strings beginning today. (: