i think i've been thinking too much.

had the first ac choir meeting today and the ac choir with a strength of 24 sounds amazingly beautiful and i really hope even after the results for o's come out, i can be a permanent part of that. its only been, what two weeks three days? and i already find myself so in love with acjc. the long hours really suck and all but theres just something about the place thats different.. i hate it? but i love it. and haiyo sometimes i think theres really something wrong with me heh

i know there are distractions in ac, but distractions exist EVERYWHERE so theres really no difference and haiyo i think they're really trying to get academics back on track cos attendance is taken at EVERY SINGLE LECTURE and theres absolutely no getting out of it and thats definitely good for me hurm cos i dont have a very high level of self-discipline ;p

and i realise alot of things are so different now. just about three months ago everything was sheltered, covered, pampered whateveryoucallit and now- its the REAL WORLD. and alot of times i come home and there are so many things filling my head i just cant seem to organise them and commit them one by one to the Lord and when i read passages in the Bible there just doesnt seem to be 'space' to store them all cos i read, and then i forget. which REALLY SUCKS la and headaches are getting more and more frequent nowadays which is crap and half the time my head just feels like its going to explode like RIGHT THERE and eurghhhhh

i thought alot about sc today, how much i miss it and all, and how i would've loved to go back and experienced that same familiarity i've carried with me for ten years or my life. and theres this big sign in my brain thats telling me to MOVE ON and to quit being an emotional basketcase but theres a BIGGER sign in my heart thats telling me i have a right to be a little sappy after ten years there so eurgghhhh i will just faint and die :'(

and, i dunno. i just miss sc, love ac- period.

and theres another million and one issues that i have to deal with but one of the biggest BIGGEST biggest issues i settled with the Lord today and im VERY HAPPY bwahaha and its really amazing la cos after i prayed i just picked up this book on jim elliot and started reading and like within the FIRST THREE CHAPTERS i got my answer and i was just like. WOW. in a state of complete shock/awe at His greatness and total efficiency in prayer answering (: and its really just amazing to see the way He works when He reminds me what i prepared myself for BEFORE i stepped into jc life and the promises i made which i intend to keep. and that although jc might not have gone exactly the way i expected, its good and for my lovely sbone class, i give thanks with all my heart (:

and theres this huuuuuuuuuuge part of His word which i find especially true at this point of time, i mean EVERYTHING in the Bible is truth but this is my special part now heh aside from my romans8:37-39 which i've gone on about for ages-

"and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." -romans8:28

all things work together FOR GOOD to those who love Him (:

Jesus wants me for a Sonbeam,
a Sonbeam, a Sonbeam,
i'll be a Sonbeam for Him! :D:D:D