the thanksgiving weekend that just passed was possibly the most exciting weekend of my life since i got to victoria.. and i wasnt even in victoria! took the ferry over to vancouver where i actually got to do some sightseeing like a retarded tourist and take 100000000 photos of anything and everything. haha

after not having my laptop for 3 days and having to use an -ahem- extremely broken and laggy ibm (hurhur) for like 20mins a night, i was so happy to come home to my inbuilt webcam and excellent features and efficiency of my macbook!!! i really utilized skype and msn to the max. and i really do thank the Lord for the amazing-nesssss of the internet! cos its just so fabulous and wonderful! i love it! msn and skype are also the best inventions in the world.

but the thing that i am most thankful for is having good Christian friends that will listen to me, go HUHHHHHHHH with me, pray for me, encourage me, and rebuke me.

on the longgggg trip back, i spent part of it reading the book of proverbs.

i read Proverbs 28 again today, and that was really, amazingly apt. in line with some things i have been thinking about.

"Evil men do not understand justice,
but those who seek the Lord understand all."
- Proverbs 28:5

what a promise! ask and it WILL be given to you, seek and you WILL find, knock and it WILL be given to you. the condition to understanding is seeking. seeking with a heart that desires to find. seeking with a heart that wants to know. seeking actively with effort and diligence and perseverance.

"one who turns away his ear from hearing the law,
even his prayer is an abomination."
- Proverbs 28:9

what a clear, precise warning. his prayer is an ABOMINATION. if you rebel against the Lord, God has every right to get mad cos He is just and He is good. this verse scared me the first time Pastor preached on it, and i think that it shd scare you too. if it doesnt, be ready to face the pain and consequences. be ready to experience being cut off from God and pleading and pleading for Him to reveal His Word to you once again. of course, when repentance is genuine, He eventually will. but trust me, this is not a process you want to live thru. cos it S-U-C-K-S.

"He who is of a proud heart stirs up strife,
but he who trusts in the Lord will be prospered"
- Proverbs 27:25

trust. the mystery of the human heart and how it grapples with this constantly is something that will never end, will never be solved. but with each heartache, or each victory, you learn a little more about trust. a little more about the Lord. you learn to let go a little more, to trust a little more.

"He who trusts in his own heart is a fool,
but whoever walks wisely will be delivered."
- Proverbs 27:26

have been reflecting on the lessons that i have learnt over this past year, and how i want to remember each one so that i dont make stupid mistakes again and cause myself heartache that i could have avoided. how i want to remember the goodness of the Lord and His faithfulness toward me. how i want to remember the pain ive been through that i may use it to encourage somebody else. how i now REALLY know that He is in control. feelings come and feelings go. i could be fired up and passionate to live for the Lord because of a sermon that was preached or because i had an epiphany on a particular issue. but how long does that last? it is the virtues of commitment, of faithfulness that will help you to last it out. it is grace and mercy and the Lord's love that will give you these things. its not the feelings. its never the feelings.

in terms of the marriage context, i love it when people describe love as a commitment. it is admitting that it will be hard, it is understanding that you will have to struggle and it wont always be nice and dandy, but its making a commitment, stepping forward in faith and trusting that the Lord will bless the path that you have chosen. (but of course, all this comes after much prayer and being able to understand the general will of God for Christian couples).

the book of proverbs is really pretty amazing. it has left me with so many things to consider. i think the next few years of my life is gonna be really exciting, really trying, but at the end of it i look forward to thanking God for His protection and faithfulness to me, just like i can now, looking back (: