on the way to work today i spent some time reviewing Sunday's Message, taken from the book of Colossians. Pastor highlighted the different stages of faith that we go through:

1. Commencement of faith
- Heard of faith (Colossians 1:4)
- Love for all the saints (Colossians 1:4, 8)
- Bearing fruit (Colossians 1:6)

2. Complications along the way
- Danger of being deceived (Colossians 2:4)
- Danger of being cheated (Colossians 2:8, 18)

3. Completeness of faith
- To be able to stand perfect and complete in all the will of God (Colossians 4:12)

how i yearn for the day when i can stand before Him perfect and complete in faith. but today i am undoubtedly still in the midst of complicating situations of life. where can i find the Lord in this? i was and am so greatly encouraged that He promises perfection and completion despite all the obstacles i see ahead of me, and all the weaknesses i see in my heart and life. and as i pondered these things, ben shared this link with me, that really spoke to my heart today, on so many levels.

i was reminded:

1. that sometimes pain is necessary for the Lord to chip away the hindrances and the sins that are a part of me to mould me into the beautiful masterpiece He intended me to be.

2. that i should never let anyone or anything make me feel like im not good enough, cos He doesnt create junk

3. of a prayer that i made a few years back - that the Lord would never let go of me no matter the circumstances

Holy Week... all these truths shine even brighter when viewed against the backdrop of Christ and His sacrifice.. and more so when i remember that though today i feel like its only Friday, Sunday's Coming :)

A third of 2011 has come and gone... and I cant help but notice how things have changed so drastically in 3 months. If you had asked me on 1 Jan 2011 how I envisioned my life would be today, I would have told you something very different. And as I reflect on how my life has been over the past 3 months, my thoughts are turned right back to Isaiah 55:8-9 - His ways are higher than mine.


I've never thought of myself as one plagued with insecurities, but recent events have made me realize that I sometimes place a little too much emphasis on the words of others, my perceptions of how much I am worth to them, and how I never seem to be good enough. Thankfully, being quite the "happy bubble" (hurhur quote, unquote, angie) that I am, its not in my nature to allow such thoughts to plague me - but it still struck me that these notions of drawing my self-worth from how others view me had insidiously crept in and nestled itself somewhere at the back of my head and heart.


As I thought about how I should combat these thoughts and feelings, I was reminded of something a friend had shared with me just a week ago, about finding our identity in the Lord and in Him alone. Psalm 139 was a timely reminder to me - how He is acquainted with my ways, how He created me tenderly in His own image (Genesis 1:26-27), how He knows every single little ugly part of me and yet loves me just the same.


Psalm 139:14 reads

"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well."


"That my soul knows very well"... Honestly? I don't think my soul has soaked in this truth enough to know it "very well". Maybe I've just begun to scratch the surface in my appreciation of how the Lord views me, and how He loves me with an extravagant, all encompassing and powerful love. But I am looking forward to the day when I can say that my soul knows this truth "very well".


So for now my prayer is found in Psalm 139:23-24 which reads

"Search me, o God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting."


Looking forward into the fogginess, not with clarity but with trust. :)

The month of March has been one of the most unique months of my life. For one, Angie says that I've lost about half of my weight hurhur. But beyond that, this same lesson of waiting upon the Lord has been ringing over and over again in my head. Just focusing on Isaiah 55:8-9 is preserving my heart and mind and spirit.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Ten years ago, I would never have imagined my life the way I see it today. I remember prayers that I have made and I have seen how the Lord, in His own loving and gracious timing, reveal to me the little glimpses of His plan for my life. As I watch His plan unfold over this next year (the first quarter is already gone!), I am praying hard that I will not try to take my life into my own hands, bearing in mind that only He sees my future, and any plans I make now will only come to naught if I am unable to surrender all to Him. To be able to take what life throws at me with strength of spirit and all the grace that I can muster.

As in Hebrews 12:1-2, to

"lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down in the right hand of the throne of God."

Looking unto Jesus... Today, Pastor also reminded us to focus on our life verse. That I found from reading my favorite blog :)

Micah 6:8
"He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God?"

In the process of waiting on Him... to do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with my eyes fixed on my Lord Jesus :)