gum gum:

help me

19:41
i bored at work

unless He builds the house.
9:19

hahahahahah you CRAZY

19:49
later

19:53
im doing assignment now

19:53
hahahah

gum gum
9:21

eh

21:27
entertain me

21:31
pls

21:40
i dressed super nicely now la

unless He builds the house.
9:21

i dont wanna fail my assignment!!

22:04
my friend

22:08
later okay

22:13
give me one hour to focus

22:18
then i talk to you for ten mins

22:19
hahahaha

SEE WHAT CRIM IS DOING TO MY LIFE. hahahhaha but i am in a very joyous mood this morning, so im glad (:

on the bus today i was thinking about what it means to love someone. and how when you reallyreallyreallyreallyreally love someone you'd do anything for that person. its not about expecting reciprocation or things in return. though 'unrequited love' does sound kinda sad, thats what unconditional love is like, not expecting anything in return.

human love is never like that, i guess.

corinthian, agape love, never ceases to amaze me. love that is patient, kind, long-suffering, not self-seeking, gentle.
im appreciating His hand in my life again. (:
i looked out at the grassfield outside the library today, and i felt His love.
color. what made God take so much care to make creation glow? He could have made it black and white and we'd have never known.

cherie: you want doughnuts from the doughnut factory?
me: WHAT HOW LONG DID YOU QUEUE?!
cherie: 2 hours, but we were having project meeting along the way.
me: what flavors!
cherie: apple cinnamon, peanut-butter glazed, chocolate glazed.
me: i want apple cinnamon!
cherie: okay but you must give me a bite
me: of course :D

hahahhahaha. this reminds me of the -what made you give your last cookie away- song! haha. and well, though human love doesnt always measure up, some comes pretty close. (:

today is one of those days. you know those days you feel like everything is not going your way, work is piling up and everyone seems to want something from you. these days i wish i could zap everyone and turn our world into everything i want it to be. everyone would be genuine, sincere, kind, God-fearing with no malice or measure of self-seeking.

i had a hard time falling asleep last night. everything in my head is a blur and im just trying to remember the words of psalm127. "unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain who build it. unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain."

i was talking to daryl/darlie last night (hhhaha one of the things i got out of law camp, very nice ogls). and i was thinking about God's plan for my life. ben asked me that the other day too. and im sitting here and thinking, i havent the faintest idea. i know what the broad plan is, i just dont know what He has planned for my life. how?

i am thinking howhowhowhowhow. i have a crim law assignment to finish at 12pm on friday. i have my privity tutorial that i have yet to finish, or understand, for that matter. and apparently our tg did terribly for our memorial. with all these things hanging over my head, all i can say and think of to pray is LORD HELP ME.

i cant go on by myself. my strength has come to an end. my life and everything i have is in your hands.
and really, LORD HELP ME.

this is specially for joshua koh boon chuan:

PLEASE CLICK THE PHOTO TO EXPAND AND READ THE STORY.









I FOUND THIS IN THE CHURCH LIBRARY!! hahahha. i think its for the kindy kids. hahaha so cute. i almost fell over laughing when i read it. hahah HUGGLES.

the race is not to the swift,
nor the battle to the strong,
nor bread to the wise,
nor riches to men of understanding,
nor favor to men of skill;
but time and chance happen to them all."
#ecclesiastes 9:11

-agrees with zhihui-

hahahahhaahhahahha. wenn's retarded test. hahhaha ITS SO FUNNY. some of the questions are a little strange though. hehe

met jonglong yest hahhaha we ran round from shop to shop trying to look for her dance pants. silly girl. hahahha i was so super tired from the shopping activities of the past few days i wanted to just sit at home. but FOR THE LOVE OF FRIENDS, i went. hahahha.

i think its really amazing how our friendship has grown so much from when we first met. haha. back in sc she was the crazy prefect, i was the ankle-socks girl and everytime there were spotchecks she always let me go. hahahah. but being in Bethany together gives our friendship new dimension. being able to grow together and speak of the Lord is something that im really learning not to take for granted. (: so hugs dear i love you!

went to mok's place at night, i was about to post photos but just go to uni's it's all there. hahah.

i did alot of thinking after nice josh sent me back at 120km/hr. i read proverbs30 and 31, and two verses stood out to me.

"every word of God is pure,
He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him." -proverbs30:5

"charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." -proverbs31:30 (NIV)

He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him. it seems like such an easy truth but its so hard to fathom. how do you learn to place your whole life into His hands? i think ive been living for myself too much. everything i do, i do for myself. i thought back on the past week or so and i asked myself what ive done for the Lord. sadly, i came up with almost nothing.

i first read proverbs31:30 in sec3 when mandy wrote a card to me and said im her example of proverbs31:30. HAHHA. i almost fainted. i know i am far from being a woman of God, but its something i never want to stop working towards. a woman who fears the Lord. being in uni can be a time of exponential growth. or it can be a time when you stumble and fall and never pick yourself up ever again. i have told myself umpteen times, that i will not be the one to stumble. i will not turn away. i will never leave my faith. but yet the reality of many taking that path is becoming more and more apparent to me. only through alot of watching and praying can you ensure that you remain grounded, steadfast in the faith.

i was even more shocked this morning when i picked up one of my older diaries and started reading. ooohhh my goodness. every page had about ten profanities and each page was rather small. but what disturbed me to the most about my horrific language and distasteful choice of words was that they were written when i was in sec3. in sec3 when i was serving in the cleaning up ministry, choir, sec3 when i was learning to live for the Lord, and yet i was capable of living a double life. i thought of the song 'wholehearted' when i was flipping through my diary.

Lord i want you to know
that this double life is through
and everything, all of me
im giving to You.

with my whole heart,
im gonna love You.
and with my whole life
im gonna live it for you.
take my heart, every secret part
im wholehearted in love with You.

and im thankful that He has taught me to bite my tongue and taught me the principles of colossians4:6. "let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt..." haha. i have to learn the deeper meanings of these principles but at least the basic grounds of refraining from using atrocious language are about 80% covered (i hope). haha.

there are so many principles from the Word of God that i have yet to learn. and i know im capable of being easily distracted, of allowing the sparkling things of this world to distract me from the one, true light. but well, with much watching and praying. (:

so those are my thoughts of yesterday and today. (: crim law assignment is out! time to ask for another measure of strength :/

today was a tiring day. hahahah i woke up at 10am and i did crim! and waited for this stupid ben to finally wake up. and we walked and walked and walked trying to find his shoes and my sunglasses i almost died. i think we walked back and forth from far east to taka about three times. met mok and some ac ppl at some random guys shoe shop along the underpass! and mok asked me if ben was my brother -_-. i said im so much better looking. HAHAHAHHA.funny.

met jol at night. my favourite choir junior. hahaha. oh the fun we had during tour, running around to all the accessorize shops in the UK, buying up all the pretty things together. hahah.

(can you see us)



i walked for eight hours straight, if you minus the time spent on lunch and dinner. haha. i hope i have nicer legs by the end of the holiday.

but well. the time i spend with friends reminds me that i have been blessed. you know how sometimes human nature tells you that you need affirmation from others. like how you find yourself when others approve of you. thats human instinct, but thats nonsense. the only person you need ever look to is the Lord Himself, and thats one lesson im learning. slowly, but surely. all the way (:

look at our v day photos!
hahaha and other random ones.
i got up at 10am today.
i stared at privity for about 20mins.
i ended up chatting and blogsurfing and facebooking.
i watched ghostrider with my family.
i went shopping with steph.
i watched 'just follow law' with a bunch of church people.
we went all the way to toh tuck drive to pick ben and went to some prata place for supper.
I AM SLEEEPPPPYYYYY.

but i am very thankful that its the holidays (: time to breathe and reflect on all thats past.

how do i let go. how do i let go and leave it in His hands. how do i let go and believe He has great things in store. how do i let go and stop worrying. how do i let go.

i am almost 20 years old. i have seen enough of God's hand to last me a lifetime and enough evidence to have faith that will see me through my whole life even if everything crumbles right here and right now.

i know it, but how do i let go.

i like the contents of haggai2. "be strong, and work." "I have chosen you."
i am special. teach me to let go.

i am tired today.
and i am confused today.
i do not like planning things.
i want to go home and sleep!

hahahahahah we just got back from dinner. and the uncle at newton charged my dad EIGHTEEN BUCKS for two plates of chicken rice and one smalllll plate of vegetables. -_- seriously. cny is a rip-off period! and chicken wings were 1.50 each!!!!

hahahah anw im bored. hahah i met my neighbour downstairs on friday and her baby is so cute! stacey (: haha her mom tried to ditch her on me so she;d have some peace and quiet heh bad move cos after that she didnt wanna go home. hahahaha. i took her up and down in the lifts!when we got back to her house, there was a sudden clap of thunder and she jerked and flung her arms around my neck hahahahha i almost dropped her. heh. no i dont drop babies. after that i concentrated better on memo heh.

anw i took some photos of my new lights and my room!

haha. little ruth gave me my very late Christmas present the other day. hahahah i think her card was the sweetest card ive ever received! kennedy almost fainted when i told him what the card said. heh. OBVIOUSLY MY FRIENDS DO NOT APPRECIATE ME VERY MUCH.

im going to watch BEWITCHED! not the trashy imitation movie with nicole kidman, but the ACTUAL BEWITCHED. the one i used to watch with the genie show everyday at 2pm when i was in primary school. hehee. i like bewitched! (: and i am determined to enJOY my holidays with much joy. (:

memo is FINALLY OVER. hahahaha i spent the entire day in the library trying to fix all my arguments on chu xi. the epitome of sad.and i forgot to bring my charger!! i almost fainted when i realised that. thank goodness sam was there with his charger. haha but i think boonchuan and anna were even sadder. when i asked them if they wanted to have lunch they said no better do memo first eat during reunion dinner. i was like ?1?!?!?!? if josh doesnt want to eat, there is something VERYVERY wrong. hahahahah

i was talking to thea on msn and that stupid girl just told me at threepm that shes finishing so she can go get a pedicure and pluck her eyebrows -_- VERY.i think i had about ten msn windows with alot of EXCLAIMATION MARKS when i said 'im in school.'



and look at my stupid classmate. stupidstupidstupid. sbone boys are stupid. GRRR. i have great friends who tell me they're going shopping and having fun while I am stuck in school doing my memorial.

but thankfully, thankfully, its over (:
my mind has been pre-occupied with alot of things this past week.
today's msg was on strength! (: [i would say 'again', but that has negative connotations so no]
haggai2. how God gives us strength to go forth and do His work!
and i think thats something we often overlook.
we ask God for strength but we dont use His strength well.
always about us, never about His work.
so thats something im gonna work on! haha. we all should. (:
okay off to find food! hungry :/

Psalm 126

A Song of Ascents.

1 When the LORD brought back the captivity of Zion,
We were like those who dream.
2 Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
And our tongue with singing.
Then they said among the nations,
“The LORD has done great things for them.”
3 The LORD has done great things for us,
And we are glad.

4 Bring back our captivity, O LORD,
As the streams in the South.

5 Those who sow in tears
Shall reap in joy.
6 He who continually goes forth weeping,
Bearing seed for sowing,
Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing,
Bringing his sheaves with him.

i really like verse 3. the Lord has done great things for us, and we are glad.

are you glad when you receive the Lord's blessings? sometimes we just take alot of things for granted. its a blessing that im in Bethany. its a blessing to be in law school - why am i complaining about the workload? its a blessing that i got a C for memo and not something worse. its a blessing that memorial ends before cny! its a blessing i have my family for cny. its a blessing that next week is a break and i get to meet all my friends that i miss so much. its a blessing that i even have friends to miss. so many things to be thankful for, and yet. theres always the tendency to go -but-.

the Lord truly has done great things for us. and my prayer for today is for strength, and to teach me to be grateful. be grateful even for every second i spend refining my arguments for the memorial, cos things really could be alot worse.

i like 'meet me by the waters' by rachael yamagata. (:

would you meet me by the water tonight?
would you please fall asleep holding my hand.

good night (:

All i can bring
All that i have You gave to me
Even my life, all these gifts i call my own
Amazing grace rescued a sinner such as me
What else can i do but take my place before Your throne?

All that i have i give to You, my Jesus
I willingly give my life to You my Lord
Let me walk in Your ways, serving You, my Savior
All that i have is Yours
All that i have is Yours.

Teach me Your ways
And try my heart o Lord my God
Nothing within, no secrets within
In these last days when the love of so many will grow cold
May i be found listening to You, close to Your heart

All that i have i give to You, my Jesus
I willingly give my life to You my Lord
Let me walk in Your ways, serving You, my Savior
All that i have is Yours
All that i have is Yours.

it is an extra bad valentines day.

1. i have no date
2. i just got C for stat memo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i need to lie down and sleep. and pray for alot of peace of mind. :(

ruizi's idea for the name of a cakeshop: advoCAKES and soliciTARTS [advocates and solicitors]
HAHHAHHAHHA. sorry. im in crim.

theres something about the love of Jesus, i may never comprehend.

i really am stuck doing our wonderful memorial thats due on reunion dinner night. haha. but its okay im learning to find joy in what i do (:

return concert was yesterday, and it was really pretty good! hahah 70% of the singers were good, the guitarists were quite amazing and the drummers were cool. hahahaha. stupid boonchuan kept kicking my chair at relevant parts of the concert. :/
the emcees were amazing! hahahaha lovely thea and retarded daniel zhang. hahahah they just stood there and tried to construct a script on the spot. hehe.

went running with weibo after hahaha for VERY LONG KAY. i dont feel so fat anymore. but i realised its kinda freaky running at night cos there are lots of reallyreally darkspots and the street lights arent very helpful. and we ran past these really niceeeee shophouses/homes and there were all these cute kids inside! hahaha. i hate sprinting with guys. makes me feel so irritatingly SLOW.slowslowslow. which i am but well. haha.

i listened to the Easter Concert cd after, and it just reminded me of what i so often forget to do. to appreciate His love. when auntie sally passed me the score for "Father, forgive them" and said "let me know if you can sing" i thought she was giving me a choice. heh. apparently not. hahahaha but its okay, after the camillia experience, i think im a little braver. hahah though my acting still sucks big time. thea says i look like i wanna die everytime im made to sing onstage. but well the joy of the Lord is my strength. hehe. (:

valentines day is coming! haha. manman and i were sitting around moping about us having no date on valentines day. hhahaha then gavin came and sat down. and then i REMEMBERED. three months ago, during the YAG retreat, 3 of us were sitting around talking about finding good husbands/wives, hahahhaha. i found that extremely hilarious. ive made it my determination to pray about 10things before i go to sleep every night. whether they be situations or people or anything i want to commit to the Lord. and i realised that i can pray for anything and everything under the sun, but i alwaysalways forget to pray for a good husband. hehehehhehe. gavin is all for the idea of praying for a good wife. but okay im not going to be sad on valentines day. hahahahha the joy of the Lord is my strength! hhe.

but on a more serious note, i really appreciate this month's theme of 'strength'. thats something 99.9999999999% of Christians lack, and thats exactly what we need to build up. i heard to messages on ephesians6:10-18 today, both different but with the same theme of strength. haha i like that our pastors never preach the same message over. to me it simply demonstrates the richness and depth of God's Word. we need to DIG DEEP. so yea, strength. strength and perseverance to keep praying. and believing.

sometimes i pray and pray and pray for someone i love to believe, and it just doesnt work. but well. ive discovered that nothing is impossible with God. haha in my lifetime, ive had two experiences of people who were the most stubborn mules ever, and yet they believed, all in His good timing. so well. belief. (:

to tell you about, the love of Jesus - where do i ever start?

how high and how wide, how deep and how long, how sweet and how strong is Your love.

this line keeps replaying in my head. yesterday, i was listening to a song we're gonna sing for the Easter concert. its called "Father, forgive them." i always marvelled at the extent of God's love and the expression of it when Jesus said "Father, forgive them." this love has always been something ive never been able to fathom. and yet while it amazes me, i find that more often than not, i seek after other things of the world and forget. forget that He's next to me, watching, waiting for me to turn to Him yet again.

and as usual, i need to remember to keep trusting. im seeing His love this easter. (:

I'll be

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your crying shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hang from above

I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said

when i read the lyrics of this song i almost fainted because it sounds so CHEESEY. but it really is very sweet :') hahahahha it can make me cry! awww.

The Wonderful Cross

When i survey the wondrous cross,
on which the Prince of glory died
my richest gain i count but loss
and pour contempt on all my pride

See, from His head, His hands, His feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet
And thorns compose so rich a crown?

O the wonderful cross!
O the wonderful cross,
Bids me come and die, and find that I
May truly live.

O the wonderful cross!
O the wonderful cross,
All who gathered here, by grace draw near
And bless Your Name.

this is such a beautiful, beautiful song. haha cherie found this recording site. if we sing it, im gonna record it! haha. im still learning to appreciate the glory of His sacrifice, and see it as precious above all else. (:

and, i do not like it when people are evasive.

today has been an emo day.
haha.
legal theory puts me in that mood.
plus the fact that memorial is due 17th feb!
disastrous.

i was just thinking, well. the friends that i know i can rely on, aren't always those that i WANT to rely on. does that make sense? haha. according to boon chuan, all the 'latent tension and hidden agendas', haha. sometimes you dont know what vibes you exude, you know?

sometimes, you think the world is becoming too crooked and too perverse for its own good. the truth of the description of the world in philippians2:15 resonates in my head everytime i see someone bitching about something or someone and i see the subtle ways in which sin rears its ugly head. and during such times i just need some reminder that real, genuine, sincere human love still exists somewhere. and im just thankful that He sends me such sweet reminders of His love (: im reminded that im not alone, and God can perform great miracles. im reminded that He will provide for me and see me through every season of my life.

we discussed ephesians1 yesterday during sunday school. and ephesians1:12 struck me yet again "that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory."

what a privilege it is to know. that the One Who holds the future, is the One Who holds my hand. (:

hahaha yea! i am so happy.
the Lord works in such amazing ways. (:
many thoughts about alot of things, today's msges at sunday sch, teens and evening were all extremely thought provoking.
'87 girls we'll despatch sunday school notes soon!
and i have great hope that the Lord can induce an amazing amount of change.

knowing You, there truly is no greater thing. (:

dont you know, im just playing my game.

yesterday was a good day, i met my four favorite scgs girls! (:

see this

i think its amazing how we've come such a long way from eating duck rice at huiling's tuition centre together in sec3, going nuts together in sec4 to kinda disjointed communication in jc with us being in ac, rj and nj, and finally now, when we're all grown up and still laughing about the stupidest things together. haha.

i think we could come up with our very own version of 'now and then'. haha. ive watched that movie a gazillion number of times and it still gets to me. (:

i remember what josh said to me like agesagesages ago when we were studying for exams last year. he said time is the test of friendship, and well ive always kinda known it was true? but then it really has hit home in the past few weeks. (and only when the Lord is the centre, does it ensure that your friendships are built on a rock-solid foundation.)

haha. i was really privileged to say grace for us before we had dinner at ivins yest. and i thought that was really special. (:

i remember loving the hymn that has the line "make me a blessing, Jesus i pray, make me a blessing to someone today" and i used to sing it loud like anything in dg. haha and geri would sweetly tell me everyday that im her blessing :D AWWWW.
i remember talking to ris (the pastor's daughter) about service and faith and all
i remember trying to get cel to go to church with mandy and yaye being all happy when we finally succeeded (:

kay. im going to legal theory now (: