liling is gone.



yvette is gone.

i am sad. :'(

last night i dreamt that i started bawling like crazy when vette left. AHH. thankgoodness i didnt. i was alr so sad when liling left yesterday. i hate airports. and I HATE GOODBYES.

i remember when we first started out, there were four.



and then jus!! [she was kinda always there but cannot wake up on sunday mornings for sunday school ;p AHAHAHA] and ivyyyyy appeareddd ;)



ruth brought sarah and sarah brought yvette.

[sarah in between blue jia and pink jus ;)]

then jolene came



jia brought tingping

and jenny



and we grew bigger, and bigger, and bigger, AND NOW WE'RE BACK TO SQUARE ONE. sob :'(

but its okay! im heartened, cos we're all planted in different parts of the world now. haha sarah is training to become an inspiring doctor in kl, liling and vette are on their way to becoming superb chem engineers, and the rest of us.. well we're making a difference in singapore. haha AIE ITS IMPT OKAY!! haha

torts is driving me a little insane. OKAY ALOT INSANE. the week ahead is gonna be packed full. i think i shd cancel monday's driving if not i'll rush around till i die. torts test on friday, ive not touched the tutorial im supposed to finish for torts and contracts by tues and wed respectively, not to mention lawr on thursday that will. virtually kill me. and practices for resonance is piling up cos of the mike test on wed. i hope it doesnt get too much for me to take, cos i still wanna have a life outside of work, and work and more work. but i guess thats when you learn to rely on His strength ;) if i could study 8-8 during a's, I CAN STUDY 8-8 IF I HAVE TO NOW. i need 48hours in a day man. but well, like pastor said today, i have a TASK in front of me. Tears, but Ask, Seek and Knock. and He gives the power to get through all you have before you. i will be strong! ;)

sarah, vette and liling. BE STRONG, and of good courage. take heart dears, we're here to pray for you and walk with you. ;)

i am very sleepy now. cherie this is all your fault! but its contributory negligence on my part too. why did i have such a randomrandomRANDOM thought that confused you and caused us to talk for three hours. hahahah EEEP TORTS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.

i keep having random thoughts so, bear with me a little will you. haha thea's nick is 'defective conformists, all of you.' it means: people go with the herd mentality cos they're not strong enough to make it on their own, or make their own choices. they choose to follow others, even though it may not be the best choice for them. and so their conformism arises out of a sense of defectiveness, its in their weaknesses that they conform. haha trust her to encapsulate this idea in such a cheeeeeeeem way. just like how she freaked me out during the law interview cos she knew just about everything and she was trying to tell me about the sdp and workers party like two seconds before i went in!

and i think im seeing alot of this nowadays. people wanting to be something they're not. but sometimes i wonder if you can really blame them. wanting to be accepted is normal, maybe some people just dont know how to find themselves. so they follow what people do in an attempt to create for themselves and identity that they like. but anyhow, im just thankful that i have the Lord. cos it doesnt matter who i am, what i do, He loves me all the same. and theres no need to seek acceptance in the world's eyes, cos theres only One that really matters. (:

my second random thought is that ALL OF US ARE STRANGE. seriously. we're all strange. but most of us 'appear' normal cos we hide our strangeness well. haha everyone has thoughts/ feelings/ urges [e.g. to strangle someone that reallyyyy makes you angry] that we would nevernevernever admit, even to our closest friends. haha but THEN again im thankful that i have One Friend that will never repeat my strangeness to anybody. ahha unless He decides to give someone a vision. which is like HURMM impossible. not now anw. haha so yes, i am thankful (:

and i will get back to studying torts now before i end up with 5%/15% of my torts grade. oh save me. and please pray hard for me! (:

Change in my life

Standing cold and scared on top of blue hill,
There came one moment where i lost my will.
i prayed for mercy, 'Please, Lord, take me away.'
'And givr me sunshine, where i only see grey.'
The past had a hold on me, it can't be denied.
And the changes didn't come easily.

I've been lonely, I've been cheated, I've been misunderstood;
I've been washed up, I've been put down, and told I'm no good.
But with you I belong, 'cause you helped me be strong.
There's a change in my life since you came along.

Now I don't mind working so hard every day,
And I don't pay no mind to what people say.
'Cause after all the pain I've been through,
I'd give up everything just to love only you.
All my life I've held my head bent in shame,
But now I've found you, and with you I'll remain

I've been lonely, I've been cheated, I've been misunderstood;
I've been washed up, I've been put down, and told I'm no good.
But with you I belong, 'cause you helped me be strong.
There's a change in my life since you came along.

standing cold and scared at the top of blue hill

ive been washedup, ive been cheated, ive been misunderstood :') [all i wanna do is stuff the bread into my mouth :'(]

theres a change in my life, since you came along! (: AHAHAHAH

HEEHEE. tonton is so cute haha his expressions are so funnyyy. okay i will stop being haolian. but anw. this song is actually a gospel song, and its a veryvery beautiful song ;) read the lyrics veryvery carefully.

today's prayer meeting really was a very special and timely reminder (:

today was the FIRST OFFICIAL DAY OF HOLIDAYS! haha we went to recce manymany places for the ypg1 outing with the aid of the church's minibus, but thats another story for a time when i have enough patience to upload the million and one spastic photos we took but anw, back to the more important stuff.

i was superrrr sleepy when i got up this morning and when my hp alarm rang, i reached over and tried to switch it off..and whacked my citation book which then slid down the huuuge pile of books on my sidetable, knocked my cup of water and it fell ALL OVER MY MAC. i jumped up in an instant. kill me please.

hahah but i took sometime to do some personal reflection this morning, and i wrote down some of my thoughts about law school and the things/ changes ive experienced this past few weeks. i made myself come to terms with the choices ive been wrestling with at the back of my mind and i made a goodgood determination to always make the choice to honor the Lord and make the wisest choice. i dont think i will always be able to make the right choices, but i am going to lean on His strength and TRY. VERY HARD.

i enjoyed prayer meeting aloooottttalotalot today, cos i found almost every part of the msg applicable to the way i feelpasto right now. pastor mitch brought up the idea of having a RELATIONSHIP with God's Word. and thats a thought ive not really considered before. what it means to have a relationship with the Bible. it is true that the Bible is ALIVE, cos when you seek it with a sincere heart, the Holy Spirit opens up your understanding to the truths in the Lord's Word, but it just never occurred to me to cultivate a relationship with it.

to:
1. stand in awe of it
2. find great joy in it
3. love it
4. praise the Lord for it

pastor mitch shared about how he too found it hard to love the Lord's Word when he began serving in church and he mostly turned to it cos he needed to, in order to minister effectively. and i think thats a trap i often fall into as well. but from this point in my life i see two possible routes:

1. the sunday Christian route. the in-two-years-i-am-going-to-get-so-tired-of-everything-and-just-turn-up-for-service-every-sunday route.
2. the powerful servant of God route! the in-two-years-i-am-going-to-be-even-stronger-in-my-faith-and-be-an-effective-and-useFUL-servant-of-God route.

AND I AM VERY MUCH INCLINED TO WORK TOWARDS THE LATTER. very much.

personal determinations:

1. HOPE
"Lord, i hope for Your salvation.." psalm119:166a

2. OBEDIENCE
"and i do Your commandments.." psalm119:166b

3. LOVE
"i love them exceedingly.." psalm119:167b

4. CONSCIOUSNESS OF GOD
"all my ways are before You.." psalm119:168b

I WILL DETERMINE IN MY HEART. (:

hahah i just finished watching singapore idol. and jonathan leong sang chasing cars!! i was all prepared to give up sixty cents for him. but then i thought about all the trouble he caused in my nus email- all the 'SUPPORT JONATHAN LEONG!' emails, and i changed my mind. hahah my DAD wanted to vote, can you imagine. he must've gone mad! i keep hearing that song everywhere and its such a melancholic song. and i KEEP listening to it on repeat. JIA THIS IS ALL YOUR FOT. whyyyyy did you let me listen to it on youtube :(

lets waste time, chasing cars around our heads.

i keeo coughing and coughing and coughing and coughing i wanna cry :'( please slap me if i ever try to eat ice cream when im having a sore throat :( i think i was awake for about an hour last night having a coughing fit. kept drifting in and out of sleep and coughing and coughing and coughing RARHIE. i hate having to cough.

but well the mid-sem break is finally here! im really thankful cos this was a muchhh-awaited break. somehow the Lord always knows how much i can take (: i realised ive got very many activities piled up in front of me, but i just want to take some time off to reflect. recall, reflect and remember. ive kinda rushed through the past six weeks of school without really knowing whats going on, not knowing what i'd ACTUALLY got myself into when i accepted the offer to enter the law school. and i think in the hustle and bustle of things, some of the world's influence has, somehow or other rubbed off on me. i see my priorities are on the verge of subtly reshuffling themselves, i watch my mind all ready to drift away from the things that really matter, i see myself almost yearning to conform to what most people think is right. i see it, and i know it. i catch myself, yes. i always make sure i ask for strength to make good choices, and most times im able to choose wisely. but i know if i dont take time to recall, reflect and remember, i might as well be standing right in the zone of attack and screaming to the evil one 'COME HIT ME, IM NOT GUARDED!!'

the principle of being watchful was brought up again during service today. watch. watch and pray. matthew24:42, 25:13, 26:41. i was talking to ben t on the bus home today after we met up for zhi's farewell, and i was telling him about school and how ive been meeting a whole lot of new people and all. i just feel like life's no longer as simple as it used to be. [hahah when was it ever but anw.] people just have a thousand different faces and when i meet someone new, im not sure if i can trust the person without second thoughts. i trust people pretty easily, actually and ive realised that more often than not, this character trait of mine is increasingly causing me more detriment than good. ive learnt alot of things the hard way [but not TOO hard, thankfully], and i just worry that when i perceive someone to be of a certain character, one day im just going to be horribly wrong. and what if that wrong judgment of character costs me. like. alot? i dont know, i shudder at the thought.

and i think its times like these that i really learn to appreciate what it means to have the Lord with me through all of life's trials. that even if the world rises up against me, i will be faithful to the choice i have made. i am determined i will not be ashamed, to live so the whole world can see- that yes, i believe. even though ive realised that life isnt as nice or 'perfect' i thought it was, i dont think im going to become some individualistic, self-seeking, paranoid monster that trusts no one. haha. that would be kinda sad. haha i am who i am and i dont think much of that is going to change. hahah i just need much wisdom and the Lord's special protection to keep me away from people/ things that may potentially influence me in the negative sense of the word.

going back to psalm119, in preparation for prayer meeting tmr. teach me to pray. (:

i am mad. i finally finished my closed memo!! and i submitted it like. 32mins before the deadline. that has got to be the ultimate. i am not a lastminute worker! cos i always get heart attacks when im trying to chiong something minutes before its due. its cos STUPID ME forgot about dinner with liling tonight. EEP. jus msged me at 1245 when i was switching off my mac and deciding i could come home after comm meeting and clean up my memo:

'hello! may i know who is coming tonight from your group?'

FAINT NOW. sorry linggg its not that i dont loveee you i do! but i just forgot sigh. I ALMOST FAINTED WHEN I READ THAT MSG. so i restarted my mac and chionged again. and that was not the end of my worries! i brought my laptop to church- and DROPPED IT. -_- kill me now please. hahah wenwen is my angel. cos she touched it and it worked again! hahah i was so thankful ;) after making everyone rush with me through dinner i chionged back at ten to start working on it again. hahah i was praying and praying so hard the silly thing wouldnt screw up on me and really by the Lord's grace it didnt. so I AM THANKFUL. and i will never go out on friday night ever again if theres an assignment due on saturday! EVER.

speaking of friday night. went for some ocs social night and my darling date was wonderful. haha you can ask lifeng, charmelia, christine, sara low ANYBODY. absolutely wonderful. ian you so owe me for going with you and waiting for you for one hour! but anw. I WON A DIGICAM!! hahah. so everything is forgiven. if not ian, YOU WOULD DIE. ahahaha i love my new camera.

hahah after ypg today, i realised i should stop setting assignments for my girls. cos after last week, half of them didnt turn up! hahah out of four, two didnt come. and out of the two that came, one forgot! and all i asked was for them to apply one truth from the Bible into their lives this week :'( haha no la i love them no matter what. i still remember how i was grappling with the concepts of the truth of God's Word and how hard it was to discipline myself in the matter of reading His Word at that age. not that is super easy now but well distractions seemed harder to overcome then. aha.

chasing cars is still stuck in my head! but its such a sad sad song.

every saturday when pastor reminds us of the coming youth conference, im reminded of the concept of 'the kingdom of Heaven'. and i keep asking myself what it really means to me. not what pastor's been teaching us, but what it means TO ME. and i know i need so much grace to seek and search out what this can mean to me. much grace. when im reminded of the big picture, i always think. nothing else really matters but the treasures you store up for yourself in Heaven. im 18, almost 19 now [30th oct!! hahahah] and it'll only take me another. 60 years? to reach the average life expectancy of 78 years old. what am i going to do with my life? hahah since im in law school the LAWgical conclusion would to become a lawyer. [okay, KILL ME NOW. ive been hanging out too much with lame people.] hahah i still remember in sec3 i wanted to be a missionary. and i still kind of do! but im not sure if i can. hahah my theme song for that dream is:

be a missionary everyday!
tell the world that Jesus is the way
the Lord is soon returning, there is no time to lose
Africa or Asia, the choice is up to you so!
be a missionary,
God's own emissary
be a missionary today!

i still remember that we watched some video about poverty in nepal back in SC. and when i came home, i marked nepal with a little black cross on the little globe i got at the church anniversary. haha. maybe one day, i'll get to go and make a difference. but right here, right now. eyes on Him ;)

sometimes i wish we could all learn to love each other with the unconditional love He first offered to us. then there would be no sadness, no strife. just love. hahah i remember ris asking me once: out of faith, hope and love. which is the greatest? and i chose faith. i dont know why. haha but im seeing, slowly how love really is the one that surpasses everything else. love was what placed Him on that cross. show me a garden thats bursting into life (:

im veryyyyyyyyyyyy happy and very encouraged now. haha. our God is an awesome God (:

chasing cars.

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Just show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Just show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes,I just couldn't see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

haha i keep listening to this song on repeat. hahah after jia MADE ME watch jonathan leong sing this song on youtube on tues its just been stuck in my head. obviously, the original is so much better. i think the song sounds real sad though.

im just encouraged to find that im not entirely alone in my view of relationships. haha in Bethany, i KNOW im not alone but alot of times outside everyone thinks im strange. hahah

for a relationship to succeed, the object of any such relationship has to be Him alone. anything less than that would result in FAILURE. i am remembering that. and, well God is good (: for His beautiful timing

"but we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. we are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed."

- 2 Corinthians 4:7-9

just get up and live. (:

hahah im in a very joyful/thankful mood cos ive learnt a very important lesson on trust and patience in the course of a day! hahah not that ive fully learnt it [i never will] but well. its a good improvement ;)

the day ALREADY started off bad cos i had to drag myself out of bed at sixthirty to get to school to attempt to have some inkling of how to do a citation before lawr at ten. and when i got there and tried to nap for awhile, i kept having badbad dreams and then after i got up, someone came and switched off the light at MY CORNER of the study room and didnt switch it on again -___- and then someone said something not very nice to me. and that was the ultimate oooohhh i was prettyy pissed off cos in the first place i didnt see anything i did that warranted such a mean response. i kept praying in my head and asking for alotalotalot of self-control to not suffer from a case of verbal diarrhoea and proclaim all the notsonice facts about that person. and basically the evil one was egging me on in my head [hahah i can just imagine the angel and devil thing]

one part of me said: go suffer from a case of verbal diarrhoea, it is COMPLETELY called for. and nothing of what you say is gonna be a lie anyway. everything is the TRUTH. they are FACTS. the absolute truth and nothing but the truth.

another part of me said: NO. remember what the Bible says. a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye DOES NOT APPLY in this case. in this case its the when-someone-slaps-you-on-one-cheek-turn-the-other-cheek-for-him/her-to-slap case. and why does it really matter anyway? the whole point is to be blameless in the sight of the Lord and look within yourself. did you do something that could have contributed to that comment being made? [CONTRIBUTORY NEGLIGENCE AHAHAHAH] learn patience. learn to love. what would He do? what would He want YOU to do.

and as i talked to God, this debate was going on furiously in my head. i had to take manymanymanymanymany breaths to calm myself down. and it was particularly hard cos. when your respect for someone is pretty much non-existant its just. exceptionally hard to take mean responses and you just feel like throwing everything back at the person like hellooooooooooo you-are-like-that-what-gives-you-a-right-to-talk-about-me. haha. PSALM119:161

"princes persecute me without a cause, but my heart stands in awe of Your Word."

when i was pondering alonggg and hard over my rewrite of the closed memo [haha.] i listened to 'the gift' by Jim Brickman. and one line of the song caught my attention 'im thankful everyday, for the gift.'

im thankful everyday, for the gift. and i was greatly rebuked by that line. i tend to forget, how blessed i am. the most important gift of all was given 2000 years ago on a cross. and when i accepted the promise that came along with it, the promise of eternal life and salvation in the Lord i also was promised a whole load of benefits like a joy-filled life! and apple-red happiness, popcorn cheerfulness, cinammon singin' inside! peppermint energy, gum-drop holidays when you give Christ your life! hhah im MAD. and on the way back from driving i was in a hurrrrrr really go-and-slap-yourself-for-even-feeling-remotely-pissed-off mode. haha. on the brighter side, i have an 'inspiring' story [-_______-] to share with my ypg kids about one lesson ive learnt and applied to my life this week. ;)

haha. and another thing im thankful for is friends ;) haah. i have good support in school. haha maybe i havent found superrrrrrr good friends in school but they're all sweet enough to listen to my whining and look after me when im in a HMPF-mood. haha and SO i shall stop now and attempt to redo my closed memo with the newfound knowledge bewstowed on me by smart students who got A for their closed memos. RULE SYSTHESIS. PLEASE SAVE ME. haha

if you look around and see some joys have passed you by,
dont give up- just get up and live.
and if you ever sigh over things you wished you'd tried
now's the time- to get up and live.
dont set your heart on things you have missed
but look out to the horizon, and get up and live

one day, one day, one day at a time.
one day, one day at a time.
one day, one day, living one day at a time.
one day, one day at a time.

and if your past romances left behind
start to love yourself- and get up and live
and if some painful memory keeps you hiding from tomorrow
take a second chance- to get up and live.
dont let your sorrow scald you,
dont live in the past
and dont let your failures hold you- just get up and live.

one day, one day, one day at a time.
one day, one day at a time.
one day, one day, living one day at a time.
one day, one day at a time.

if you had a dream, what you might've been
dont let go- just get up and live
and if you think the years turn too quickly through life's pages
take whats left- and get up and live
dont mourn the years that have drifted, and what might've been
take all that you've been given- and get up and live

i will remember! get up and live (:

this is the process of tonton eating:









hahah i love watching tonton eat. its SO FUNNY his eyes like become like O_o THIS BIG and he keeps trying to grab at the food and he becomes oblivious to everything around. the funniest thing was when t milton tried to say grace with him before he got to eat, his eyes just got wider and WIDER as the food got nearer and he wasnt concentrating at all. hahah sometimes i wonder if we're like that sometimes. we see something that we reallyreallyreallyREALLY want and we're just so intensely focus on it we forget that someone is trying to lead us in the way we should go. the way back to Him. and i just think its a really wonderfulllll thought to know that He keeps trying to lead us, He reminds us to pray and holds our hands even when we choose to focus on the things of the world that we chase after so often. are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows? are you tired of spinning round and round? thats a question i always come back to when i feel really tired. back to Him (:

hahah im really trying hard to concentrate on my closed memo rewrite but it isnt really working. hahah shall try again! random photos

hahah rie going mad over work.



do you see moses being extra in the background!



hahah loveeee. on the Bethany library wall ;)



Christian tee-shirt day! hahah so sad. only ben and i. grrr thea the pungseher!



hahah we had Christian tee-shirt day and it was basically only me and ben cos THEA that darling dear forgot all about it. hahah kennedy laughed at my shirt cos he said im wearing my heart on my sleeve. hm. sleeve?! hahah nvm. and BECAUSE i was wearing shorts, all the silly boys commented 'why are you so dressed down today?' 'you look like youre going to the market!' THANKS. law school boys are so helpful. the girls said "ITS FINE WHAT". SO. i will wear shorts and tee-shirt anytime i feel like it. evil boys YOU ALL TURN UP IN LIKE SHIRT AND SHORTS AND SLIPPERS EVERYDAY WHY CANT I! i shall rebel. soon. hahah i will declare shorts and teeshirt week soon. maybe i'll even wear fbts. boys are vainer than me.

anw. ive been making alot of new discoveries about people recently. im still in my little-sc-what-you-see-is-what-you-get mode and i think i need to get out of that soon else im gonna realise when its too late that people whom i think are my friends are actually just. strange. and i hate hearing things about people! it scares me. alot. thats why i need to learn to ask for wisdom when i feel overwhelmed by the flood of gossipandwhatnot that is getting around faster than a flying bullet. and for DISCERNMENT. i need alot of that. not to believe everything i hear, and judge for myself. and, well what better way to do that than to focus on the Giver of all good things? trust He will give me wisdom, and rest in the promise that He will provide in His own beautiful time (:

hahah. back to trying to understand contracts!

i'd rather have Jesus

i'd rather have Jesus than silver or gold
i'd rather be His than have riches untold
i'd rather have Jesus than houses or lands
i'd rather be led by His nail-pierced hands

than to be the king of a vast domain
or be held in sin's dread sway
i'd rather have Jesus then anything-
this world affords today.

i'd rather have Jesus than man's applause
i'd rather be faithful to His dear cause
i'd rather have Jesus than worldwide fame
i'd rather be true to His Holy Name

than to be the king of a vast domain
or be held in sin's dread sway
i'd rather have Jesus then anything-
this world affords today.

He's fairer than lilies of rarest bloom
He's sweeter than honey from out the comb
He's all that my hungering spirit needs
i'd rather have Jesus and let Him lead

i'd rather have Jesus, than to be a king [or princess ;p] of a vast domain. (:

hahah i've been rebuked manyyyyyyyyy times in the course of these past three days. todays prayer meeting was on revival. praying for revival daily, constantly.

and i really see the Lord's grace and mercy in the grade i got for the closed memo. haha wayyy better than my horrendous D for my case summary. haha its things like these that remind me that He's keeping watch over me every moment of my life. and reminds me how i need to be so much more conscious of Him. haha and maybe this is a sign that i shouldnt transfer to smu accountancy ;p haha kidding! im maddddddd.

im proud of myself cos this morning as i began the day with the Lord i asked for peace of heart and mind to look to the things that really matter. and i think He's slowly but surely teaching me to look to the things that are eternal. and He's teaching me to have a single-minded focus and devotion [though i know im still wayyyyyyyyy off! haha] like the apostle paul had in preaching the gospel. i think its hard to say [and mean it] you count all things as rubbish when you look into the fullness of His glory. thats why i appreciate what it says in this hymn 'i'd rather have Jesus than man's applause', and i like be Thou my vision too! 'riches i heed not, nor man's empty praise. Thou mine inheritance now and always' (:

and i will focus! haha. i shall attempt to touch torts so i dont get horribly embarassed during tutorial tmr. hahah i want to hide my face and DIE i always get caught when im not listening like during sls today. garhhs i am SO bad at trying to stifle my laffter. no more msning during lecture! kick me if i do. (:

oh yes, i forgot the punchline. we often blame others for our lack of spiritual growth: e.g. pastor's msg is too boring, no time [even for 5mins of reading His Word?], FORGOT etcetc.

you can blame anyone you want, but at the end YOU ARE THE ONE DYING. you are the one being spiritually drained. you are the one thats going to suffer the consequences of not making the choice to follow Him.

whoa. that was like. in my face.

i had a million and one thoughts to pen down this morning. haha now i think i forgot more than half. hahah plus i left my journal in the car! and im lazy to get it so lets see how much i remember from this mornings msg ;p and i was VERY struck by it.

todays msg was on revelation3. i think it was and IS very timely reminder to all of us to be watchful, to guard against the sneaky ways of the evil one and make sure our spiritual life is ALWAYS vibrant, abundant and alive.

rev3 talks about the dead church of sardis, rev3:1 "...I know your works, that you have a name that you are alive, but you are dead." Pastor reminded us to always guard against the danger of that happening in Bethany. when you rest on your laurels and think youre all well and good, thats when you begin to crumble- and the worst part is youre gonna think youre okay.

hahah pastor always tells funny jokes hahah and its just the WAY he said it that i found so hilarious but he was talking about how there are really obvious sign-posts that point 'TO THE CITY OF DEATH' and we are supposed to RUN the moment we see those signs not go 'oh! lets have a look-see.' hahah i found that really funny i dont know why. but REALLY. thats what most of us tend to do, we have a 'look-see' and before we know it, we're halfway down the road that leads to spiritual death, and we DONT EVEN KNOW IT.

throughout the course of his msg, pastor kept emphasizing the fact that we have to look WITHIN OURSELVES. we just love the pointingfingers game dont we? we have 20/20 vision when we're watching someone else, but its a little blurry when we're looking at ourselves. rev3:2 "be WATCHFUL, and strengthen the things that remain, that are ready to die , for I have not found your works perfect before God." and i was just. struck all over again by the importance which we should place on our faith and growth, and how little emphasis ive been placing on growing in the knowledge of Him since school started. when rie and i were talking yest, we concluded that everyone just became a little more 'depressed' since school started and growth in faith seems to be slowing down..and maybe even stagnating? i dont know. but its a scary thought. to think youre okay when youre not.

and of course, pastor saved the scariest thought for last.

rev3:5 "he who overcomes shall be clothed with white garments, and i will not blot out his name from the Book of Life; but I will confess his name before My Father and before His angels."

what if you THOUGHT you were okay, but youre not? what if you THOUGHT your salvation was sure despite your choosing to follow the ways of the world but you were wrong? what if, what if..i never want to stay within the categories of 'what ifs'. i want to be sure. and the natural result of that, is to be overwhelmed with desire to serve Him, know Him and love Him. hahah funny, auntie asked us what we thought 'service' was about today.

hahah BUT there were also churches that succeeded, like the church of smyrna in rev2. rev2:10 "do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. BE FAITHFUL until death, and I will give you the crown of life." the challenge to be faithful, and the great rewards that are in store if we do (:

oh yes and my side-thought about service. hahah i think the cleaning-up ministry- wiping the tables, sweeping & mopping the floor and carrying chairs and tables is the only ministry that REALLY reminds me to be humble. the ministry that reminds me we really are SERVANTS of God, and teaches me to learn to cultivate a 'quiet and gentle spirit' that is very precious in the sight of God (: its always easier to serve in "glam" ministries like the youth choir or serving in the ypg comm [which i still think is such a cool ministry!! ;p] when all you have to do is sing, do funny actions or chair. but its harder to clean the tables and have your hands smelling like a horrendous concoction of detergentleftovergravyfromlunch and whatever else was served. hahah i hope kenneth doesnt kill me for making service in the ypg comm sound even remotely trivial cos its not. oh dear. i hope he doesnt read this or hes going to make me chair for the next twenty saturdays! haha but ANW you get the point im trying to make. yea! im reminded of the need to be strong and steadfast. to be faithful to the things ive promised and be strong till the end ;)

yeaaaaaaaa and its monday again! its 12.06am and as usual, people are chasing me offline, telling me its 'way past my bedtime'. which is true. hahah okay YES strength for the week! "he who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches." -revelation3:6 I WILL BE STRONG ;)

ahahhaaaaa this is my handiwork. on ries wall. prettieeee riiiight.



mandyman!



halllllllll


if i stand

There's more that rises in the morning than the sun
And more that shines in the night than just the moon
There's more than just this fire here that keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger than this room

And there's a loyalty that's deeper than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs that I can sing
Stuff of Earth competes for the allegiance
I owe only to the Giver of all good things

So if I stand let me stand on the promise that you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You
So if I sing let me sing for the joy that has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man who is longing for his home

And there's more that dances on the prairies than the wind
And more that pulses in the ocean than the tide
There's a love that's fiercer than the love between friends
More gentle than a mother's when her baby's at her side

And there's a loyalty that's deeper than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs that I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes for the allegence
I owe only to the Giver of all good things

So if I stand let me stand on the promise that You will pull me through
And if I can't let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy that has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man who is longing for his home

So if I stand let me stand on the promise You will pull me through
And if I can't let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy that has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man who is longing for his home

And if I weep let it be as a man who is longing for home

im at cherry's house and IM SLEEPY. ive been trying to read the grammar exercise in preparation for the grammar and citation quiz lei theng is gonna give us on thurs. im going to faint! im not gonna be doing anything tmr cos jus is dragging me to some ulu shopping place and my mad rents want to go to kbox for their anniversary -_- faint now.

sometimes i wonder if i should be working this madly alr at this point in time. its like a week from mid-sem break and exams just seem years away. i wonder if im creating the perfect formula to drive myself crazy. but anw. hha i really enjoyed kenneth's msg today, about learning to cultivate a love for the Lord's Word.

and the six steps to do so are as follows:

1. TRUST (psalm119:42)
2. HOPE (psalm119:43)
3. KEEP (psalm119:44)
4. SEEK (psalm119:45)
5. SPEAK (psalm119:46)
6. MEDITATE (psalm119:48)

i challenged my girls to discover and REMEMBER one attribute of the Lord during the coming week, and apply their new-found knowledge into whatever circumstances they may face in the week ahead. hahah. it really makes me smileeee when i know im seeking to help them grow just like auntie/t chen kee/ t chung's batch etc put in all the time and energy to help US grow. and i dont know. i remember what it means to let Him give the increase as you labour, cos He sees your labour of love and He blesses the work of your hands ;)

hahah. i shall get back to my grammar exercise. im such a stupid! i have NO IDEA what nounverbadjectivepronounactivepassiveblahfnngnoiuy are. but well. the joy of the Lord is my strength! I WILL KNOW IT. erm. SOON. (:



NO WHINING!!

i am so sorry i look exceptionally cheesey here ;p

hahah ran to ntu to find cherry tree today. and we just about went mad la. we took such RETARDED fotos. hahah i'll post it soon when i find the time and patience. hahah. anw, we talked about alot of nonsense and whoops i realised im quite a toot. AHAHAH the new news of my life has alr been uploaded into her brain and i have come to the conclusion that- shes the only living person that knows how retarded i REALLY AM. hahah. well lets keep it that way, i dont think i'll have many friends left if they see how retarded i really am. haha.

OKAY IM GOING OFFLINE NOW. its 12.46am and everyone keeps msging me to ask me why im still online. the best was a conversation that took place yesterday at one am:

arson: why're you still online?
arson: praying ah?

HMMMM. i shall faint now! hahah ben died from laughter.

i like reading the psalms. hahah i was reading it as i prepared my sharing for the o and a level programme. and it really is good to take time to reflect and see what the Lord has done in our lives (: God Who gives the increase.

okok im really going to sleep now. stupid mark wants me to mention him. so anw we went running together last week and the silly toot runs so slowly and arrived like after i finished 3/4 of my run. haha YES MARK THIS IS YOUR MENTION.

okay im off to bed. and i shall be strong and of good courage and attempt to finish all my lawr stuff tmr morning before comm meeting ;) its an honor to serve! im so gladdddddddddd its saturdayyyyyyyyyy!

im in a very reflective/ pensive mood again. haha i keep getting into these kinda moods ever since school started. i like observing people. and i guess what you gather from your little observations are worlds apart from what the person actually is. and i think thsts a really scary thought. i had lunch with jean today! and she was asking me about how im coping with school work and stuff haha. and anyone who reads this blog will know im on the verge of drowning in my work! but anw thats besides the point. but yea we got to talking about friends and it kinda made me feel sad. im sorry im such a lousy pok its only the fifth week of school i cant expect to have icantellyouallmysecretsandsquealaboutanythingandeverythingtogether kind of friends. and i really miss sc. where i had ris and mandy and cel and geri and :'(

i managed to grab mandy and geri at nus before resonance practice yesterday and though we met for all of 70 minutes, it just reminded me of how good it feels to be around good friends (: i summarised my life in the past month in five minutes including all the interesting whoswho in law school ahahha its funny. and you realise everybody knows everybody. hahah and SO if you do something, the whole world is gonna know! hahah i have noticed the speed at which people talk and pass things on. i will do my absolute BEST not to contribute to the disintegration of people's reputations.

but well back to the topic of friends, i guess the time that i spend with my friends [whatever little thats left from all the reading i have to do!] always reminds me of the Lord's goodness, and how He's answered each and every one of my prayers - just not the way i wanted Him to, but the best way (: i can think of countless times when ive prayed for something and with all my heart hoped and wished that THIS would be what God wanted for me. but He always told me no. to wait, expectancy, lifting your eyes to the Heavens and to trust. and im learning, still. but in retrospect, im glad for all the wise choices He prompted me to make throughout the course of my 18 [going on 19] years of my life.

hahah some days i wonder what life really is about. but after staring into space for awhile, i remember that i've had the answer in my heart all along.

a song by casting crown says:

i am a flower quickly fading,
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean
a vapor in the wind.
still You hear me when im calling,
Lord You catch me when im falling
You showed me who i am-
i am Yours.

"'vanity of vanities', says the Preacher,
'vanity of vanities, all is vanity'" -ecclesiastes1:2

and thats what our lives really are. vain, vapor, passing. but i remember:

"He has made everything beautiful in His time. also, He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end." -ecclesiastes3:11

my reflective moods always come with a tinge of sadness. hahah but i remember what kenneth shared with me from psalms the other day. notice how most of the psalms begin with contemplation on life, prayer for deliverance from enemies, cries for help. but they always end on a note of thanksgiving and praise.

"the Lord has heard my supplication;
the Lord will receive my prayer."
-psalm6:9

"salvation belongs to the Lord,
Your blessing is upon your people."
-psalm3:8

"the Lord is King forever and ever;"
-psalm10:16

and i thought that was a reallyyyyyyyyyyyy amazing discovery (: wheee!

on a very random note, this song is stuck in my head. hahah i hope i find someone who will sing it to me someday! hahahhhhhhhhhh ;p

Longer

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you

Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you

I'll bring fire in the winters
You'll send showers in the springs
We'll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings

Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you
I'll be in love with you

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens
I've been in love with you
I am in love with you

AND. i just watched anger management. and i hope someone runs across the field during a yankees football game and tells me he loves me. AHAHAHAH i am dreaming. hahah im going back to consideration. hahah anw, just a last thought:

"You are near, o Lord." -psalm119:151 (:

i am sooooooooooooooooooo tired my back aches and garhh. haha i was trying to study the entire afternoon but things kept popping up and people kept turning up I WANTED TO FAINT. haha no not really but well. i've been trying to drill the concepts of contracts into my head cos i happily ignored it for two weeks and started freaking out when contract tutorials started.

attended mr yeo's wake just now. i think one thing i really appreciate about bethany is the sense of togetherness and the support when times are tough. one of the hymns we sang was about the great privilege of being able to relate to the Lord as Friend.

its a thought i really gotta hold on to as i face each day of school. strength. haha i thought up three things i want to remember to pray for each day:

1. faith. to believe that He will bring all things to pass in His beautiful time, and trust that all that happens is for good.
2. hope. waiting, expectant. KNOWING that something great is in store, even if you cant see it now.
3. love. learning to love life. love people, love where i've been placed and the work He's given me to do. the clever disguise ;)

i need much strength and joy! to face each day (: the skies were beautiful today, though. (:

i know its not Christmas, but well. (:

one king.

Kings of earth on a course unknown
Bearing gifts from afar
Hoping praying
Following yonder star

Silhouette of a caravan
Painted against the sky
Wise men searching
For the holy child

One king held the frankincense
One king held the myrrh
One king held the purest gold
One king held the hope of the world

A star hangs over bethlehem
A journey ends in the night
Three kings trembling
Behold the glorious sight

Heaven's treasure emmanuel
Drawing men to bow down
Tiny baby born to wear a crown

One king held the frankincense
One king held the myrrh
One king held the purest gold
One king held the hope of the world

"but now, thus says the Lord who created you o Jacob
and He who formed you o Israel
'Fear not for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name;
You are mine.

when you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
when you walk through the fire,
you shall not be burned,
nor shall the flame scorch you.

for I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior,
i gave egypt for your ransome
Ethiopia and seba in your place.
You have been honoured
and I have loved you.
therefore i will give men for you
and people for your life.

fear not, for I am with you."

-isaiah43:1-4

thats my thought for the day (:

whee cherry and me! :)

haha today was a very funny day. haha i didnt get much reading done but well im learning to appreciate the fact that the Lord has blessed me with so many things and i have so much to be thankful for. (: im still kinda worried about contract cos i know nuts about it! but as i read i am slowly 'crawling' towards enlightenment! ahaha so thats a good thing (:

haha i met manman (a.k.a alba) yesterday haha we were SUPPOSED TO STUDY. but ms alba and her busy schedule arrived at threeten, with a phone out of battery too so i sat at the cafe and waited for half an hour! grr haha no la. and we went to eat ke ai ji! haha going out with manman is a good stress-reliever cos she says the funniest things and you'll just laugh till your sides ache and you wanna die. ahahah so it was gooodddd (: but the thing i appreciate the most about the friendships i have in Bethany is the way we can just talk freely about the Lord and its just so wonderful cos its just. a granted thing (: and thats a bond i dont share with many of my Christian friends outside of church. some yes, but not all. its just different with Bethany and i love every piece of that church from the cross on the top to the basement carpark below to the people and food and everything! but most importantly, how we help each other and focus on the Word of God (:

there are times when i feel the pressure, when work is piling up and ive got chairing stuff to do, choir stuff and i start to feel a sense of weariness all ready to begin setting in. then i remember. BE THANKFUL. serving in Bethany is definitely different from serving elsewhere. serving in Bethany means youre on-call 24/7. haha kidding! but sometimes yes, but thats what the church was built for, a community of believers to help and aid in times of need. be thankful that i have a church that is so grounded on the Word of God. be thankful that Bethany has taught me so clearly the need to be rooted and grounded and steadfast in my faith. be thankful that i see the need to grow in the knowledge of God's Word and im not being blinded by all the flashing lights in the world. be thankful for the friends i have in Bethany, the love He shows me. be thankful that i am part of His special people, to be counted worthy to suffer for His sake (:

i think im learning what it means to wait on the Lord. what it means to believe that He's got everything in His hands and that i have to stop trying to second-guess Him. and in the meantime, i shall learn what it means to trust (: haha



cherry and me again! haha- i miss youuuuuuuuuuu! ;)

There is one thing that has always been true, it will be true forever- God is in control!
He has never let you down, why start to worry now?

i have manymanymanymanymanymany thoughts to pen [or type] down now. haha now i need to practise the skills ive been learning in lawr. write the topic/thesis statement at the start of every paragraph so your reader knows the purpose youre trying to bring across in each paragraph. AHH im mad sorry youre not gonna get that haha.

my thoughts were turned back to this song during our attempted sunday school class meeting to discuss our chairing on sunday -_- but anw

Whatever You ask

Lord, i see the things You ask of me
faithfulness, holiness and purity.
i love Your truth,
i want to show it to the world for You.

and Lord i need Your help to understand
the other person that i sometimes am
and i never want to live a day
where i cant say to You-

"Lord, whatever You ask
i want to obey You
to let my life beat with a servant's heart
Lord whatever You ask
i know that You can give me wisdom
and courage to equal the task
Lord, whatever You ask."

Lord i face so much that steals away
the will to make the time to serve or pray
but when my strength is gone i know that You're right there
providing me with the strength i need

"Lord, whatever You ask
i want to obey You
to let my life beat with a servant's heart
Lord whatever You ask
i know that You can give me wisdom
and courage to equal the task
Lord, whatever You ask."

the past few days have been strangely taxing for no apparent reason. and i keep going to school and feeling like the life is just being sucked out of me everyday. and i keep turning back to different sections of psalm16. today i made a special prayer for God's preservation and protection:

"preserve me, o God, for in You i put my trust." -psalm16:1

i read 'you shall be witnesses' for morning devotions today, and well i think the Lord is trying to tell me something. haha ive reached the part where it talks about the persecution of the apostles as they sought to preach the name of Jesus. and i got referred back to my favorite inspirational two verses, acts5:41-42 about how the apostles, after being beaten and released by the Sanhedrin council departed praising God and rejoicing that they were COUNTED WORTHY to suffer for His sake. and i kept trying to remind myself to keep my focus and set my mind on the things that He wants me to do, but the entire day i just couldnt do it. all i could think about was 'i can only imagine when all i will do is forever, forever worship You.' and all i wanted to do was just scream I QUIT and never go back to school ever again. by the time i reached city hall for our attempted class meeting i was [according to rie] in a completely NEHNEH mood and absolutely uncooperative whatsoever. and i was ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

but i failed to see, that my worship of the Lord here, now is not the same as the worship i will give Him when i finally see Him face to face. the worship i give Him here, now, is the way i use my life, the way i utilise my talents and gifts- to the praise of His glory. the way i lean on Him for strength, the way i trust that everything is going to be fine, cos MY GOD is in control. the worship i can give to Him now is in learning to love, unconditionally with the love He gave and continues to give to me. (:

"and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." -romans8:28

its a great comfort to my heart. and of course the famous romans8:37-39 about how nothing will be able to separate us from the love of God. (:

haha daryl just sent me a link to some senior's website about law school and its really hilarious but well. i am NOT intending to let myself go insane in law school!

'Because, see, law school makes you insane. There are no exceptions. Soon you will be nuts.

And it comes on slowly at first; you'll be at a party with other first years (note: in my experience, "partying with other first years" will only occur immediately after you turn in your first major memo, because prior to that, you are all too terrified to Funk). Someone will fall over during a keg stand, or fall down a flight of stairs, or SOME accident will occur, and instead of calling the party foul, as would be appropriate in such an instance, one of your classmates will instead turn to the group and say, "That is a tort."

And you will AGREE. And you will LAUGH. Because it is TRUE.

Now. You have just passed an important milestone! At this point, your soul is dead. Sorry.'

haha i thought the tort one was really funny! [im sorry but this is a joke only law first years will understand ] but well i am not intending to go insane. and because i am almost on the verge of it, i am going to pray twentythousandtimes more often and rely so much more on His strength. i remember praying so veryveryvery hard that when i click the button on the screen that says 'application results' that i would not see 'accepted into the school of business for academic year 2006-2007'. this is not because business is bad! its an excellent faculty but just because i wanted law. and because i asked for this, I WILL NOT COMPLAIN. i will not. i asked for it and He gave it to me because He loves me and He knows i can do this. all things work together for good. i still have my great ideals about being a good, moral and just lawyer and i do not intend to flush these ideals down the toilet because theres a voice somewhere in my head that tells me im not good enough and i should just quit now. NO WAY. not now, not ever!

im just really thankful for the little ways the Lord reminds me that He loves me. today, two things struck me. the beautifulll blue sky i stared up to when i was walking out of school, and the support and encouragement and rebuke from auntie/ riejusliling outing (:

i need to appreciate so much more what it means to be His special people. and i need to understand its worth- when the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. (:

I can only imagine.

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By Your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you

i can only imagine. its such a beautiful song (: forever, forever worship You. nothing else matters (:

remember the love, measure your life in love.

love is a gift from up above (:

hope has feet, love has a body, grace has a face.

ethan!!!



a very bewildered looking ethan



sleepy ethan

haha my one and only boyfriend! ;) i just cant get hime to pose properly in any photo. he keeps squinting at the sun! grr. but carrying him today reallyyyy made me veryyyy happy cos he was in a very xiao mood so half the time he was pulling my hair and grabbing my neck and trying to kiss me and wiping his sweaty head on my face but WELL haha i loveeee e-ton cos hes sooo handsome and cute. (: and hes such a joy. i cant wait to have my own kid. AHAHAHHH funny.

but really, everytime i carry ethan and watch him progress in his learning to walk again, im reminded of God's special protection on him. i remember so clearly how i felt when i went to visit him in the hospital. with all the tubes being stuck into him and all the moniters surrounding him it really broke my heart. it would've broken anyone's. i still remember watching t milton and auntie shiao yee profess faith and trust that the Lord would guide them through that difficult time, and it was a great encouragement to my heart. (: haha now, i just leech onto their bundle o ;)f joy. e-ton really is a bundle of joy! even though he does kinda weigh a tonne. haha! i carried him for all of twenty mins and my arms were about to BREAK. but anw it was worth it. (:

on a different note, sunday's msg really is something you need to sit down and think about. revelations2:1-7. have you left your first love? when things start getting in the way and your focus shifts from wanting to know and serve the Lord to other things, you know you've lost your first love. the zeal, the passion, the love. all that really matters is just, gone. the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. im always reminded of what should take first place in my life when i look at this hymn. nothing else should matter. EVER. and i have to say ive been distracted over the past three weeks since school started. i havent gone through each day being conscious of the fact that im here for a reason. the concept of 'the clever disguise' from the book by ron hatcher that the two bens gave me for my birthday ages ago. im not really a law student. its just a clever disguise for whats really important! haha i thought that was a really amusing but very apt truth to consider.

daily reminded. "let your light so shine before man, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in Heaven" (:

ps: i loveee my e-ton! ;)

im very greatly encouraged now ;) haha i think this really is the Lord's way of teaching me to trust Him, of reminding me "HELLO I SHOULD BE THE CENTRE" and im really thankful for that D grade now, actually. (:

haha a few things helped put things into perspective though, and im really thankful for each and every one (:

1. i think it really helped in the immediate aftermath of getting back my case summary [im making it sound like a disaster! haha] to turn back to the Lord and trust. i wrote down psalm16:9 in my journal [a.k.a little book of prayer and sanity]

"i have set the Lord always before me;
because He is at my right hand, i shall not be moved."

and it was really a great reminder to me to learn to hold fast, and to trust even though i was still feeling veryvery sad

2. xinjie trying to comfort me whilst i was being out loud and whiney and horrified and AHHHbangmyheadanddie about my D grade during the torts lecture. and all the other people that were so sweet and comforting when i was on the verge of sobbing my heart out [AHAH oh fine im exaggerating] haha im just thankful i have friends who look out for me and stuff :) haha THANK YOU mwas for surviving me and my nonsense

3. encouraging msges from my darling cherry tree and from jon who was trying to IRRITATE ME about how joakim gomez got kicked out of singapore idol. but anw haha i was reminded- thank You Lord for my special friends (:

4. went to church and spoke with kenneth for abit. he shared with me from Mark6,7 about how Jesus taught his disciples and showed them signs and wonders and yet they lacked the understanding to believe in the power of God. haha he was telling me to not be discouraged by the horrific grade, haha he told me about how all his message outlines come back bleeding from red ink marks after Pastor checks them haha. and that was an encouragement to me to learn from all the mistakes [which i must say were pretty bad in retrospect and i do deserve that D], and to PERSEVERE ;)

5. housewarming/ comm meeting at gerald and elaine's new house! haha i thought the short msg Pastor Mitch gave was really apt as i spent time talking with yiyong, jon and huimin about how sucky school can be. haha i was really encouraged, how Christ is the centre of everything, and i am reminded that im not alone! am not alone (:

the reason we sing,
the reason we lift our voice
is more than just making harmony
the reason we sing,
is to praise the One Who gave His Son to be
the reason we sing.

(: i need to get back to my closed memo now *crosses fingers* thou shalt remember to pray for me! haha no more Ds for me haha but even if i still get D's its okay. D FOR DISTINCTION.AHAHAH nah its okay, the Lord sees the heart (:

I HAVE GOT TO BE THE STUPIDEST PERSON ON EARTH. what kind of an idiot gets a d for her case summary huhuhuhuhuh.

i have many many lessons to learn on trust. ahhh. must remember, in His presence is fullness of joy. i need to rememberrrr.