wake me up, when september ends. says: (9:26:19 PM)
EH WHY
wake me up, when september ends. says: (9:26:21 PM)
WHY AH 
wake me up, when september ends. says: (9:26:22 PM)
WHYWHYWHY
wake up! september has ended says: (9:26:35 PM)
WHAT

i have such mad friends.

i feel so loved. (:

wake me up, when september ends.



i was so bored this is what i did to the meeting room whiteboard. ahahah.

i remember what Pastor said to us once.
its all about the mind.
you cultivate a strong mindset, a guarded one,
one that has an unshakeable basic foundational belief that God is good,
God is everlasting, He loves us and will NEVER FAIL,
you get through every season of your life,
no matter how much the wind shakes you.

my mind is not impenetrable yet. YET.
hahahah. but i know what i want to be.
and im choosing to build up my mind.
fill it with good things.
and i'll be the better for it. (:

this is the age when you start losing half your friends to their boyfriends/girlfriends/on-the-ways. man.

here is my list of things i have to be thankful for this week:

1. (the current most pertinent one) my brother has finished asking me math questions and i can watch justice in peace
2. 'before the throne of God' was performed really well. and i didnt forget my lyrics! :D
3. IT IS THE MID-TERM BREAK. YAYE.
4. the property assignment we have is a hypo. that doesnt have too many ridiculous scenarios and not as much nonsense as normal tutorials.
5. i have yet to get into a car accident (everything is always just near-accidents. ;p)
6. i have been learning good lessons on grace and love and peace
7. for my baby poois. hahahaha
8. little lorraine who ran to me and gave me a big hug this morning (:
9. leon who is still playing hard to get.
10. geof who has beg-borrow-steal-ed me an acoustic guitar so that i can further destroy my already gross fingers.
11. sam who bought me my guitar tuner. YAYE. i am really amazed by it. the light turns green when the right note is played. ahhahah
12. for my very successful tripartite motto of life.
13. i have had VERYVERYVERY good food this weekend. (:
14. i am learning lessons on humility.
15. the Lord is protecting my heart and faith and keeping my focus. (:
16. i finally have tan sook yee.
17. for the time auntie, vette, rie, jus and i got to spend together today
18. and that the dynamics of our friendship has become so much better. the openess with which we share. and for friends that dare to rebuke you when youre wrong (so you learn good lessons fast) with no malice but only with love. and for the encouragement i know we bring to each others hearts. awww. i love you all (:
19. that vette is leaving. HAHAHAHHAHA no just kidding. im thankful that you have grown so much. and i am praying for you (: and when you leave, it means i start getting emails from you again :D
20. i have survived the past week of school and i am still struggling thru company law and have not given up.
21. my mind is no longer riddled with ridiculous nonsense. i wake up in the morning, and i remember to look up (:
22. i get to eat yami yoghurt with fruity pebbles. :D to date, i have eaten an entire tub of yami yoghurt with fruity pebbles :D mmmmmm. my favorite! (:

so endeth what i need to say. im sure there are others i just cant remember them now.
and i am a happy girl.
i will rise above this life! (: wheeee.

"His mercies endure forever."
this phrase has taken on a WHOLE NEW MEANING.
words cannot express the thankfulness i feel in my heart at this point in time.
and i think, this will always be a reminder that He watches over me every second of the day.
He doesnt have to. He could look away for a second and my life would be in shambles.
but He doesnt.

that's why im still okay (:

His mercies truly do, endure forever.
and on that note,
happy birthday chris!
may you see His mercies, everyday of your life.
and may you walk in His light.
loving Him and serving Him
all the days of your life.
happy twentieth! (:

always getting over you

emotive. unstable. you're like an unwinding cable car. listening for voices. but it's the choices, that make us who we are. go your own way, even seasons have changed. just burn those new leaves over. so SELF-ABSORBED you've seemed to ignore those prayers that have already come about.

this is the correlation of salvation and love
dont drop your arms
dont drop your arms, I'll guard your heart
with quiet words, I'll lead you in.

when you say a big prayer, expect a painful answer. painful, but good. (: creche 253pm prayer has been answered. not quite in the way i expected, but answered. (: i've felt a peace in my heart that ive not felt in a long time.

i had lunch with daryl today. hahahaa. we talked the woes of law school. and the superficiality of all thats around. but its okay, you know. these things dont get to me. im surrounded by His love everyday of my life. sometimes, i just need to open my eyes to see it. more precious than rubies. i will write this on the tablet of my heart.

theres no room for your name anymore.

my prayer list has gotten longer.
i believe in the power of prayer. when Moses prayed, God forgave an entire nation. when Elijah prayed, He sent fire from heaven. what's there not to believe?
so, selfish as it sounds, my prayers always begin with me. because i recognize how badly i need His grace in my life. and when im too tired, i pray just for me. cos i am weak. and there are some days when i lose the battles. and without prayer, i fall apart. do you?
if there comes a day when you stay together without prayer,
you dont see it,
but trust me.
you're falling apart inside.

but when you finally do.
put your hands together.
bow your head,
and pray.
you'll find you dont just cope
you OVERCOME. (:

today i learnt what it means to cling to the love of Jesus.
and to give myself away.
i also learnt that kids are the greatest bundle of joys ever (:







beth started tapping me on the arm and going "take peeeture (picture) of me doing the monshcher (monster) face!!" and so, since she likes her monster face so much, here it is. hahahahaa.



i found Him in songs today.

i'll be fine, with my Father's love.

Lord, i see the things You ask of me
faithfulness, holiness and purity
but Lord i need Your help to understand, the other person that i sometimes am
and i NEVER want to live a day
when i cant say to you-
Lord, whatever you ask, i want to obey You.

they say that into every life some rain must fall
for the pain is no respecter of the mighty or the small.
but sometimes, it just seems so unfair
to see the one who's had more than his share
and it makes me wonder why.
but though down here i may not understand
i wont let go of the unseen hand,
for it holds the reason why.
HE HOLDS THE REASON WHY.

Emmanuel, our God is with us.
in flesh and blood, God's fullness comes.
no other name in Heaven and earth is higher than this Name.

words cannot express the thanksgiving i feel in my heart. when i see the worth of my salvation, and the wretchedness of who i am. and i am thankful. thankful for where i am. thankful for what i feel. thankful for His grace that has been outpoured. thankful that He is with me. there beside me, all the way. (: there's so much more to this than what we see, with our failing vision.

today, i learnt a very good lesson within 3minutes.
and the lesson is this:
that if you keep asking for the Lord's mercy, SOMETHING IS WRONG. you cant always be asking for mercy. you gotta move on. you gotta get past it. God's grace is outpoured, but its not limitless. if His grace is used to extend mercy to you, His grace cannot be used to help you grow stronger in faith. it cannot be used to provide you strength for each day. it's just used to keep you barely hanging on everyday of your life. what a way to live! horrific. and one more thing. if you keep praying for something, even though it's not good for you, God may grant it to you cos its something you want so bad. but in the end, you suffer. so careful what you pray for.

today, at 2.53pm, sitting on the small little ikea kindergarten stool, i made a big prayer. and this big prayer is going to need alot of diligence and prayer and perseverance to come true. but it will! haha. and im already seeing Him answering me in little ways (: we sang one of my favorite songs at ypg today.

every holy intervention, is just another grace extension.

cos there are some days you feel good! and others you feel okay. and then there are the days you literally have to drag yourself out of bed and psycho yourself to face the day. but in each of these days, remember- the war is already won. just do what you can to conquer the battles of the day. (: wheeee!

the youtube link for inevitable. so niceeeee (:

i was about to say it was bright and early on a saturday morning, but i realised its neither bright nor early. its gonna rain :( boo. BUT i had a really good friday night. hahahahah.

we drove around for about two hours before arriving at jus' house. courtesy of you-know-who's really bad sense of direction. hha. and the jam on the ecp of course. AND GUESS WHAT I SAW



that stupid car cut right in front of me i had to jam brake :/ but i had a good laugh so it was okay. hahahaha. it even had the transformers sign printed on it i was like ?!!??!?! haha. and while we were driving we saw leon's dad! haha. in the car next to us. so funny.

finally arrived at jus' house for dinner (even though WE brought dinner cos stupid woman didnt cook for us.) and the night consisted of us singing and irritating all the neighbours around with loud guitars and shrieking voice (yes, VOICE, not voices. cedric, for you when you sang 'wherever you will go').



hha. i have realised how amazingly easy most songs are. just a repetition of generic chords with different strumming and beats. geof tried to teach me a new technique called 'hammering'. which basically just means you hit the string with your finger while the note still resounds so you get this.. tone variation or whatchamacallit. but i cannot do it. its very painful! :( nvm. with time. haha. after jus chased us out of her house, we went to the kallang river. -_- hahahaha. seriously. there were about a million couples there and they were looking at us with such disdain. -these idiots playing and singing-

and when i finally decided i wanted to go home.. cedric lost my ipod fm transmitter thingy. so we spent ages looking for it in the car.



thank goodness i found it. and now it's a new day..a new way, more things to do, and more strength needed.

stay in this moment, for the rest of our lives.

Anberlin - inevitable.

Do you remember when we were just kids,
and cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss?
School yard conversations taken to heart,
and laughter took the place of everything we knew we were not.

I want to break every clock.
the hands of time could never move again.
We could stay in this moment for the rest of our lives.
Is it over now hey, hey is it over now?
I want to be your last first kiss
that you'll ever have.
I want to be your last first kiss.

Amazing how life turns out, the way that it does.
We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love.

I want to break every clock.
the hands of time could never move again.
We could stay in this moment for the rest of our lives.
Is it over now hey, hey is it over now?
I want to be your last first kiss
that you'll ever have.
I want to be your last first kiss.

Is it over now hey, hey is it over now?
Is it over now hey, hey it's not over now.
I want to be your last first kiss
that you'll ever have.
I want to be your last first love
that you'll ever have.
Lying here beside me, palms and eyes open wide,
I want to be your last first kiss
for all time.

this song is beautiful. especially especially the ending. (: i learnt to play it today. i am happy (:

GLINDA:
whenever i see someone less fortunate than i,
and let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than i?
my tender heart tends to start to bleed.
and when someone needs a makeover,
i simply have to take over!
i know i know exactly what they need!

and even in your case,
though it's the toughest case i've yet to face,
don't worry, i'm determined to succeed!
follow my lead,
and yes indeed, you will be...

POPULAR! you're gonna be popular!
i'll teach you the proper ploys,
when you talk to boys,
little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh!
i'll show you what shoes to wear!
how to fix your hair!
everthing that really counts to be...

POPULAR! i'll help you be popular!
you'll hang with the right cohorts,
you'll be good at sports,
know the slang you've got to know.
so let's start,
'cause you've got an awfully long way to go!

don't be offended by my frank analysis,
think of it as personality dialysis,
now that i've chosen to become a
pal, a sister and advisor,
there's nobody wiser!
not when it comes to...

POPULAR! i know about popular.
and with an assist from me,
to be who you'll be,
instead of dreary who you were...uh, are.
there's nothing that can stop you,
from becoming popular... lar...

la la, la la!
we're gonna make you pop-u-lar!

when i see depressing creatures,
with unprepossessing features,
i remind them on their own behalf
to - think - of
celebrated heads of state,
or specially great communicators!
did they have brains or knowledge?
don't make me laugh!

they were POPULAR!
please! it's all about popular.
it's not about aptitude,
it's the way you're viewed,
so it's very shrewd to be,
very very popular like ME!

(Spoken)
why, miss Elphaba, look at you. you're beautiful!

ELPHABA:
(Spoken)
i, i have to go...

GLINDA:
(Spoken)
you're welcome...

(Sung)
and though you protest,
your disinterest,
i know clandestinly,
you're gonna' grin and bear it!
you're new found popularity!
ah!

la la, la la!
you'll be popular!
just not quite as popular as ME!

ahaha the wicked soundtrack is reallyreally good. wicked, wicked, wicked.

and sooooooo. i've been left with a few things to think about this week. work is progressing a little better, considering it's the end of the week and the last thing i have left on my list is company lecture for tomorrow. i think im going to shut my eyes. whooo! breathe. haha. and for the record, i agree that anyone can be nice. thats just the actus reus. what matters is the mens rea. mean it?

Wicked - I'm not that girl.

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl.

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in

Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And heaven knows
I'm not that girl...

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl...

GLINDA:

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you:

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

ELPHABA:

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend:

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good.

today was a very goooddd day!

i had



all day. i was rebuked. and renewed. and refreshed. (:






my day was filled with joys and smiles. hugs from lorraine and a huge durian-filled-smelling kiss and hug from leon. he's trying to draw a flower in the photo. haha.

had dinner with my two lovelies. and i have to say looking for parking at serangoon gardens is a sure nightmare. !! haha. ben taught me new songs again. ive got a super unglam photo of him in his horrible home clothes but no. thou shalt not post nonsense on thy blog.

today was a day of reflection. t chiew yen's sunday school lesson was definitely one to be remembered. it has to be clear to me why i chose this road. why i chose light over darkness, the narrow over the wide. when it's clear to me? it will be clear to everyone else. i learnt how to play 'from the inside out' today!

it's a beautiful, beautiful song.
you need to find it's true meaning in the depths of your heart.
everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
neverending, Your glory goes beyond all fame.

im really sleepy. and i, unfortunately, have a tutorial at 10am tomorrow morning. so, goodnight world.

today, ms babypooi brought great joy to my heart. :)
in my head i have so many versions of my idea of living a fulfilling life. some seem more likely to happen than others. but on the whole, i think i just need to wait and see which version God wants me to live out. cos i cant dictate my life and say THIS is how i want it to happen. cos thats just not the way it works.

and now, i need to just keep looking up,
and stop staring at my feet, and wondering.

i never promised you a ray of light
i never promised there'd be sunshine everyday
i'll give you everything i have
the good, the bad

why do you put me on a pedestal?
im so up high that i cant see the ground below
so help me down, you've got it wrong
i dont belong there

one thing is clear
i wear a halo, i wear a halo when you look at me
but standing from here
you wouldnt say so,
you wouldnt say so if you were me
and i, i just wanna love you
i, i just wanna love you

i always said that i would make mistakes
im only human and thats my saving grace
i'll fall as hard as i try
so dont be blinded
see me as i really am
i have flaws and sometimes i even say
so pull me from that pedestal
i dont belong there

one thing is clear
i wear a halo,
i wear a halo when you look at me
but standing from here,
you wouldnt say so,
you wouldnt say so if you were me
and i, i just wanna love you
i, i just wanna love you

like you think that you know me
but in your eyes
i am something worthy
only in your mind
only in your mind

today, uni called me spoilt

uni says: (10:53:23 AM)
spoilt
uni says: (10:53:24 AM)
hhahahaa

hahahahahhaa. ms bmw 5 series!!!!
faint.

i got my yami yoghurt! all smiles (:



and my gelare waffle :D



it's nice to feel the warmth of the simple things of life.
and it's nice to know that while i cant see it now,
there will come a day when i get to see the rainbow's end. :)

AND I CANT WAIT! (:(:(:
kay im mad.

being in school at 740pm is such a tragedy.
it reminds me SO much of exam times. haha. i walked into classroom5 just now and laughed to myself.
retarded law first years studying till12am at night. nuts.

this morning i read isaiah9:6

Wonderful, Counsellor
Mighty God
Prince of Peace
Everlasting
Father

and i think your emotions are very much derived from the things you choose to dwell on. when i choose to dwell on thoughts of the Lord, my head is filled with good things, and im a happy girl (:

i've been listening alot to 'no other Name'. everytime i hear it im reminded of youth conference and singing it with rie, auntie and ade. and i remember how beautiful it sounded, cos we sang from our hearts :D the entire song is alive in my mind. haha right down to min playing the wrong introduction for the song -_- each knee shall bow, all nations fall down- before no other Name, than Jesus.

HAHAHHAHAHAHHA. i am trying to stifle my laughter. all the msn conversations im having now are totally cracking me up. i want to faint alr.

haha but anw :D i am going to eat yammi yoghurt! wheeee. the last time i ate ice cream with ced he dropped half of it on the floor. and i CRACKED UP. i hope it doesnt happen this time..hahahaha. okay im really cracking up. cannot. im typing nonsense. bye.

"I have seen his ways, and will heal him
I will also lead him
and restore comforts to him
and to his mourners."

-Isaiah57:18

this promise. this promise is the reason why.

"Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.'
And they divided up his clothes by casting lots."

-Luke23:34

this sacrifice. this sacrifice is the reason why.

"Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them;
for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you.
He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

-Deuteronomy31:6

this hope. this hope, is the reason why.

i just watched the stupid law intern video again. its seriously super duper retarded!
and i just read isaiah63:15. i keep thinking about the evening service msges cos i cant quite figure them out. hahahha. and then when i do, WOOHOO.
jon just sent me my new favorite song!

no other Name, in heaven and earth
is higher than this Name
each knee shall bow
all nations fall down
before no other Name,
than Jesus.

and have i mentioned that i want to smack people who have perfect pitch. argh! i need perfect pitch. haha. my guitar is forever and ever out of tune and i cant fix it. grrr.

i like me being me. and i like you being you.
when you look people in the eye, you see their thoughts.
hairspray was really good.
zac effron's eyes are intoxicating.

hahahaha. i thought the funniest part of the show was when tracey's dad said to tracey's mom "it took me five years to realise you were flirting with me". and he said it with such earnesty -_-

mandy and i finished a gelare waffle in a record time of four minutes (we were aiming for two) before dashing to the theatre only to realise the lights hadnt even gone off yet -_- and i watched the trailer for stardust! it looks so..fantasy-like and nice (: there are so many nice shows that i need to watch:

1. license to wed
2. chuck and larry
3. no reservations
4. stardust
5. bourne ultimatum

i need to tick them slowly off the list -_____-

insomnia whirls around in my head. hahahah. the epitome of emo songs.

I hope you’re learning to listen
And I hope you’re learning to stay
And I hope you find what you’re missing
And I hope that you’re making you’re way

but sad songs dont get to me. i look up and i know it's all okay (:

Is there anyone that fails? Is there anyone that falls? Am I the only one in church today feeling so small. Cause when I take a look around, everybody seems so strong. I know they'll soon discover that I don't belong.

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay. If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too. So with a painted grin, I play the part again. So everyone will see me the way that I see them.

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there? Are there any hands to raise? Am I the only one who's traded in the altar for a stage?

The performance is convincing, and we know every line by heart. Only when no one is watching can we really fall apart.

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

would the love of Jesus, be enough to make you stay.

i felt a tugging pain in my heart after i selected this song on my playlist - stained glass masquerade by casting crowns.
its a kind of pain i understand, a pain ive learnt to face up to. and a pain i want to help with.
i was reminded again of the song 'My Jesus' by todd agnew with a line that went:
my Jesus, would never be accepted in my church,
the blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet.

i feel so much sadness cos i look around and i know there are many churches that work this way. its not okay to be hurting. its not okay to have doubts. its not okay to be anything less than perfect. but thats not true. and im glad that im in a church that stands with, and by each other. a church that accepts all who come. for i know my heart for God would have burned out a long time ago if not for this.