Legacy - Nichole Nordeman

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I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
And you can take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all the "who's who's" and so-and-so's
That used to be the best at such and such
It wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an "atta boy" or "atta girl"
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon
enough destroy

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

Not well-traveled, not well-read
Not well-to-do, or well-bred
I just want to hear instead
Well done, good and faithful one

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me

haha now i know why auntie says she's like ginny owens. her songs are just beautiful. and so, so true.
equity's over. and thats all it is, its over.
and songs like these, that beautify the truths in the Lord's Word a hundredfold always shed some perspective on things.
i just want to hear instead, well done good and faithful one
good and faithful one. (:

listen to this

Nichole Nordeman - You are good.

when the sun starts to rise and i open my eyes-
You are good, so good.
in the heat of the day with each stone that i lay-
You are good, so good.
with every breathe i take in
i'll tell You im grateful again
when the moon climbs high before each kiss goodnight-
You are good.

when the road starts to turn
around each bend i've learnt
You are good, so good.
and when somebody's hand holds me up, helps me stand
You are good, so good.
with every breathe i take in
i'll tell You im grateful again
cos its more than enough just to know i am loved
You are so good.

how can i thank You?
what can i bring?
what can these poor hands lay at the feet of a King?
i'll sing You a love song
its all that i have
to tell You im grateful
for holding my life in Your hands.

when its dark and its cold and i cant feel my soul
You are good, so good.
when the world has gone gray and the rain's here to stay
You are still good

so with every breath that i take in
i'll tell You im grateful again
and the storm may swell, even then it is well
You are good, so good.

such a beautiful, beautiful song. yaye for auntie who found it. haha.
equity and trusts is about killing me.
i am not looking forward to 3days of public law next week.
but its such a refreshing reminder to know that even in these moments,
You are good, still good.

i cannot get over how cute my phone's wallpaper is.
haha.

i think the older i grow, exams have become less and less important to me. im freaking out a little over equity and public law, but those are just periodic moments of stress. im either in an extremely sian of studying mood, or i keep thinking i have to make better use of my time.

i was talking to a friend recently, and he said to me that he feels like time is running out. he wakes up every morning and he feels like time is running out. what does it mean for time to 'run out'? ive never really thought about that. cos i know in my heart that time never runs out, cos eternal life began from the moment i accepted Him into my heart.

My father's house on high, home of my soul, how near at times to faith's foreseeing eye the golden streets appear - James Montgomery

huiyi passed away last night. ed told me about it this morning, and i received an sms from bethany about the news. i didnt quite know how to respond. i knew she was suffering and i knew the end was near, but it never struck me that it would be so soon. i never met her. never spoke to her. but i knew much about her. from t chiew yen's sharing, from the pastors. and perhaps it struck me because i have been praying for her. i have to admit, the reality of prayer has never been so clear in my life until now.

i attended the vigil service at 8pm. p16 of the bulletin reads 'till we meet again. testimony of Huiyi, as shared with Mrs Lai Chung Han.' im not gonna type her entire testimony out, it would take too long. but as i read, my eyes filled with tears. not with sadness, as the pain most funerals bring, but with peace and joy for i read the words of one who had a full heart and great joy as she approached the end of her life.

the part that struck me the most, read

"and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. then He said to me, 'Write, for these words are true and faithful.' - Revelation 21:4-5
by faith, i embrace this hope

the last 6 words struck me. 'by faith, i embrace this hope.'
t chiew yen went up to say a few words and as she shared, she said 'faith is a special gift.'

how true. many think faith is for the weak- but as you read huiyi's words, her words speak of life, and hope, and joy, and peace and strength. we all suffer from unbelief, and 'belief' never really crosses our minds. but if we stop at unbelief, we have not considered the possibility of faith in God. and what a great loss that would have been.

some people need proof. how do you know the Bible is real? how do you know Jesus lived? how do you know He rose from the dead? some people never get past that, cos they leave the questions unanswered. seek out the answer, do yourself some justice. faith in the Lord is not blind, it is a reasoned, grounded, unshakeable faith. CS Lewis described himself as a 'reluctant believer'. some people come to faith fast, some need answers before they believe. whichever it is, the gift of faith is real and precious, and i saw it tonight, on those 3 pages in the bulletin. and the strength with which a 24 year old girl, at the prime of her life, faced death with triumph.

today jus gave me a huge hug and told me 'i cannot go a day without talking to you!' (hahahahhaa. stupid pooi. still tell me must learn to do without!)

and when i got back from church, i found a very lovely portugal postcard from vette! haha. even though theres email and msn and gmail chat, i still got a good ol'fashioned postcard with wonderful words of encouragement. (:

its a wonderful day, cos i have such wonderful friends. (:

today, i also have witnessed how the Lord has heard and answered my prayer.

my request: a few weeks ago, i began asking the Lord to teach me to pray. i asked for wisdom and understanding and channels through which i might grow and develop a ministry of prayer

His answer: He provided p mitch, who has been giving me hw on prayer (haha.) and out of the blue, Pastor developed a new prayer ministry. !! (:

my request: i asked for a fuller understanding of my faith. the hope and reason for the infallibility of the Bible and the person of our Lord Jesus Christ.

His answer: sj has been giving me all his insight about apologetics (defence of the faith), so has my aunt (so much info.) ive been reading josh mcdowell - evidence that demands a verdict. and today, p mitch asked us 'how do you defend the authenticity of the Bible?' and an entire message on the REASON we have for faith, extra-biblical material and Biblical.

coincidence? really dont think so.
God is good. (:
answers to prayer, is the RULE rather than the EXCEPTION. (just like judicial review should be the rule rather than the exception. ahem.)

and so with a full heart, i am greatly anticipating t chen kee's sunday school lesson tmr, on... THE GOD DELUSION. seriously, who on earth would have such audacity to write a book like that. but oh well. -rubs hands in glee- tmr i will add to my store of 'ammunition' (according to dr william hwang) haha.

but really, it gives me great joy to know that my hope is built on nothing less
than Jesus' blood and righteousness (:

i offer up my life

I will offer up my life
In spirit and truth,
Pouring out the oil of love
As my worship to You
In surrender I must give my every part;
Lord, receive the sacrifice
Of a broken heart

Jesus, what can I give, what can I bring
To so faithful a friend, to so loving a King?
Savior, what can be said, what can be sung
As a praise of Your name
For the things You have done?
Oh my words could not tell, not even in part
Of the debt of love that is owed
By this thankful heart

You deserve my every breath
For You've paid the great cost;
Giving up Your life to death,
Even death on a cross
You took all my shame away,
There defeated my sin
Opened up the gates of heaven
And have beckoned me in

ade sent me this song today. used to be one of my favorite songs because it just overflows with the goodness of the Lord and reminds me of how unworthy we are to stand before this Throne of Grace. its been a tough week. my prayers have never been more heartfelt, my burdens never so heavy. but every night, as i come before the Lord in prayer i am reminded.

Lord i believe, help my unbelief.

and slowly but surely, i leave them at His feet. and trust that He is faithful. that His love will cover me in my moments of weakness. His mercy will cause Him to withhold rebuke and His grace will draw me closer to Him each day. no matter what.

and im thankful for the gift of friends. friends that remind me of the goodness of the Lord, and carry my burdens to Him in prayer. thanks, friends. (:

Hebrews 2:1-4

1 Therefore we must give the more earnest heed to the things we have heard, lest we drift away.

2 For if the word spoken through angels proved steadfast, and every transgression and disobedience received a just reward,

3 how shall we escape if we neglect so great a salvation, which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed to us by those who heard Him,

4 God also bearing witness both with signs and wonders, with various miracles, and gifts of the Holy Spirit, according to His own will?

how shall we escape if we neglect so great a salvation. its in these moments of realization that the need to pray deepens and deepens and deepens.

My Jesus, I love Thee


My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine;
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign;
My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou;
If ever I love Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now.

I love Thee because Thou hast first loved me,
And purchased my pardon on Calvary's tree;
I love Thee for wearing the thorns upon Thy brow;
(Oh my saviour) If ever I love Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now.

It is now (if ever I love my Saviour, 'tis now etc)
It is now (if ever I love my Saviour, 'tis now)

In mansions of glory and endless delight,
I'll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;
I'll sing with the glittering crown on my brow,
If ever I love Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now.

this is one of my most favorite hymns. watch this, its amazing. though the video quality isnt good, listen to the singing. and close your eyes, and know that He IS love.

if ever i loved Thee, my Jesus, tis now.

Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one. -Colossians 4:6

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. -1Peter3:4

and of course,

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. -Proverbs31:30

of which i prefer the NIV version

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. -Proverbs31:30

so over the past few days, ive got to thinking about what it means to cultivate a spirit of grace. how do you bring these lessons into your daily life? definitely does not mean that women are weaker, or are to be useless and meek. how do you cultivate a spirit that is precious in the sight of the Lord, without diminishing your 'authority' in this world? people often view a submissive spirit as weak, and they interpret this to mean they can step all over you, which is.. not a very nice feeling i must say. i talked to auntie about this once, and she said a 'gentle and quiet spirit' doesnt mean you have to be silent and subservient and never speak, but its more the inward beauty that the Lord sees, the heart and the spirit, slow to anger, virtuous etc etc. wooboy man, long way to go.

had a 2hr long skype conversation with cherie yesterday, and we got to talking about people who live double lives. you know, inconsistency in the way you are in church and the way you are in school/work/play etc. i must say consistency and being true to who you are is not an easy thing to do, but i do believe that your values and your principles should not change depending on the kind of environment you are in. and i think this is manifestly seen in the words you use and the way you conduct yourself in different settings. like, you may be perfect in church every sunday. but just cos on monday youre stuck in an adversarial, competitive work environment does not make it right for you to be ruthless, condescending, evil and do whatever it takes to climb the corporate ladder. so how do you reconcile this? the reality of this hypocrisy never struck me until one youth conference (i think) when i heard the song 'wholehearted', which goes something like this

Lord, i want You to know
that this double life is through
and everything, all of me,
im giving to You
and with my whole heart
im gonna love You
and with my whole life
im gonna live it for You
take my heart, every secret part
im wholehearted in love with You.

i think it requires a conviction from the Lord that completely transforms who you are.
and that makes me think of another song! empower me. haha
and only You have the power to change me, to what i was born to be
Jesus break through all my defences, empower me.
and so i have come to the conclusion that being a woman after God's own heart is something that will take years to cultivate
but the transformation of your life begins from the moment you say "I do", to God.

He who began a good work in you
will be faithful to complete it. (:
so those are just my the jumbled thoughts that came from studying public law (ahahahah. spiritual inspiration comes from everywhere. hurhur)

so ive embarked on a study of prayer with p mitch. haha.
the first passage, Gen28:10-22, seems daunting enough.
but somehow i guess, when you learn new things about prayer and as you deepen your understanding of it,
you begin to appreciate its worth and the wonders of it.
and youre better equipped to deal with life and what it hurls at you.
and you have more patience
and you are more focused on growing and get angry less easily
and learn to leave your burdens at His feet.

and know that everything in life is all part of a long learning process,
and what matters is you grow from it.
Amen!

sometimes you just need to pray for the Lord to give you the wisdom to see the things you cant see,
or dont want to see.
and then take it with all the strength He provides,
and do something drastic,
for His commandments are not burdensome.
Amen! (:

Matthew Henry in his commentary on Genesis

"Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him."

Men are called to love their wives sacrificially and selflessly just like Jesus loves the church. Wives are instructed to follow their husbands just as the church obeys Christ.

and so today, i learnt a lesson on wisdom.
as i was scanning thru the book of proverbs, the emphasis on wisdom is so.. evident.
guess thats why its called proverbs.
haha.
wisdom is something that so many of us lack.
and is something that we all need.

have recently been asking the Lord to reveal to me how to embark on a real good, solid ministry of prayer.
and i think thats something i really need to cultivate.
and to trust that He is moulding my character,
as He teaches me to be wise in difficult situations,
and choose to honor Him even in the way i defend my faith.

and in reading the Lord's Word, i am amazed at the depth of it.
today, i decided to do a survey on my friends.
haha.
'What's your favorite verse on God's love?'
and i have come to the conclusion that Romans 8:37-39 is the most amazing, the most wonderful encapsulation of the Lord's love.

"for i am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height, nor depth nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

i am persuaded. utterly, through and through. and that changest not. (:

the fine young men of the NUS law school.

NEGOTIATIONS ARE OVER. hallelujah, praise the Lord.
i am so happy.
haha.
even though we still have to do our negotiations report and our binder,
all is well because we will endeavour to finish it today! (:

i felt disaster looming when it started pouring insanely at 5pm, just before we drove down to drew.
plus, i had to get my suit and my heels from my car, and there was just no way to get there without dying.
kwek was so nice, he ran to his car and drove me to mine (:
and even using an umbrella and walking two steps from his car to mine,
i still got wet :/

BUT OKAY YAYE.
LCS, THE BANE OF MY LIFE,
IS ALMOST OVER.

andandand.
i took a quick glance at youth walkyesterday, havent actually substantially read it,
but my eyes scanned across this verse

"For three Sabbaths reasoned with them from the Scriptures, explaining and demonstrating that the Christ had to suffer and rise again from the dead"
Acts 17:2-3

regarding paul's ministry in the book of Acts,
and i just stopped short,
cos i just read it during my morning devotions,
and it just really struck me that the scriptures are not fancy schmancy, useless aery-fairy,
THERE IS REASON IN HIS WORD.
there are actual truths and substantial reasons and amazing facts that prove to you that the Bible is real.

im glad i can read my Bible and feel happy. (:

Two steps closer, than i had in mind,
But i am good at the cold shoulder
I lost myself, trying to catch the sun
I gave you everything, left myself with none

Well, i'm living straight now you're not on my mind
My sweet addiction, always at the side

Stop chasing every little thing that sparks
You'll carry all you ever need in your heart
Stop chasing every little thing

I'm sorry but i'm restless
The closer it gets, the less i need it
I lost myself trying to catch the sun
Turn the corner, now walk on

Stop chasing every little thing that sparks
You'll carry all you ever need in your heart
Stop chasing every little thing that sparks
You'll carry all you ever need in your heart

Oh, wait a minute more
Cos you almost said it out, oh wait a minute more
Cos you almost said it, say it to me now

Stop chasing every little thing that sparks
(it always sparkles from a distance)
You'll carry all you ever need in your heart
(it'll burn you in an instant)

You only want what you can't have
You can't have another piece of my soul
Another part of me
You take exactly what you want
Even when it's not mine to give you
And it's not yours to take away
You're stimulated
You're aggravated
I feel so obligated
But I'm not gonna let you make me run

This time I'm gonna stay right
This time I'm gonna stand right here in the truth
In the truth
The beautiful troublesome truth
Honesty, bittersweet honesty

No more patterns to repeat
No more chaos to delete
No more people to protect
Above the ground without a net
You gotta trust yourself first
And then overcome the worst
Find some integrity
Some integrity
You're stimulated
You're aggravated
I feel so obligated
But I'm not gonna let you make me run

This time I'm gonna stay right
This time I'm gonna stand right here in the truth
In the truth
The beautiful troublesome truth
Honesty, bittersweet honesty

In the truth
In the truth
The beautiful troublesome truth
But at least it's the truth
Honesty, bittersweet honesty

i just got the worst fortune ever.

'May you live a hundred years,
with one extra year to repent.'

what kind of stupid fortune cookie is this!??!!?
rah, whywhywhy.

haha. my previous irish blessing fortune was better.
grrrr.