this is so funny i wanted to post this for super long. hahahah

rach: hello we meet at 630pm on sat okay?
if everyone agrees please reply with 'AYE'
haha
benchong: AYE
ed: sure. CTE PIE BKE
peiyong: AHA.
rach's the true lawyer, and ben's on his way..and this edlyn is DRIVING all of us mad! (via the expressway) ok see you all at 6.30! :D

okay thats enough for comic relief of the day.

sometimes i think things would be so much easier if God would just appear in front of me / send His angels to tell me clearly, audibly, the path in which i should go. to help me make the otherwise unwise choices i would make in my life. but i wouldnt give up the joy of experiencing His gentle leading or the peace i feel in my heart when He directs my way thru people, thru His Spirit and thru His Word.

you know how sometimes you know you have to do something, but you have no strength to do it? Pastor always emphasizes the need to build a strong mindset, and its in my moments of weakness that i realize how completely true that is. i am weak, and i need to draw on the reservoir of His strength to be strong. it scares me when people accept that they are weak. i refuse to accept that i am weak. because He promised that He would be my strength and my sufficiency and that is a promise that will NEVER, be broken. after 20years on this earth, i thought i had accepted the reality of the fallibility of man, but still i choose to put my trust in things that dont last, and because i dont learn these lessons well, i must be taught them again.

and again and again and again. get it into your head and heart and mind and spirit that there are two constants in life- change, and Him. nothing else. as i read the Bible and the wisdom that oozes out from every page, i am utterly convinced that no amount of human wisdom could craft words like that, and it can only be the truths spoken from the very mouth of a Mighty Creator God.

and i am convinced. yesterday, today and forever- You are the same, You never change.
its this calm assurance that keeps me coming back. He's the only one that could ever really know me and love me just the same. (:

if i am lost for a day try to find me. but if i dont come back then i wont look behind me

stars! my favorite band at this current moment.
the happenings of these past few months have really set me thinking about how it is i want to order my life, and what i want out of it.

James 4
13 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; 14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. 15 Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” 16 But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.
17 Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.

a man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. it tires me when i have to learn the same lessons over and over again. why oh why, knowing how fickle and fallible man is, knowing ourselves as we do, do we choose to trust another when there is only One worthy of that full and complete trust? why do we pin our hopes on others, sinful and unreliable when we know that they are simply reflections of ourselves.

that being said, im still thankful for the little blessings in my life. thank you baby pooi and ah rie chong for listening, and not judging, and understanding me as you do. i send you both my love! mwacks. haha

You are not a god
Created by human hands
You are not a god
Dependant on any mortal man
You are not a god
In need of anything we can give
By Your plan, that’s just the way it is

You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
Your are God alone
And right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

this is the essence of everything i believe in.

my days have been filled with smiles and joys, great books and apolegetics, prayer and praise, facebook and adium, photos and memories, struggles and peace.

think that i have learnt a lot over these past few days. so much more than i'll ever learn reading the cases of chng suan tze and benjamin koh (cos those cases merely present to you the obvious).

if you asked me to sum up all that ive learnt in the past few months, i could do it in two words-PRAYER WORKS. (sorry chong, didnt mean to steal your line.)

CS Lewis, writing a correspondence of a worldly-wise old devil to his nephew Wormwood, a novice demon in charge of securing the damnation of an ordinary young man in 'the screwtape letters' summed up the essence of the Christian faith in these few words-
'our cause is never more in danger when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.'

this is one of the best books ive read in a very very very long time. it discusses everything from politics to materialism to fashion and love. with every turn of the page, a look of recognition registers on my face. with every turn of the page i see a sin ive been struggling with or used to struggle with. i see questions that have been posed to me by my friends. i see how insidious sin is. its no longer black and white. sin is no longer identifiable in its true form, for the evil one employs seemingly innocent activities to weaken the Christian in his walk. to attack his vulnerabilities. to make him ineffective as a servant of the Lord.

"whatever weakens your reason,impairs the tenderness of your conscience,obscures your sense of God,or takes off your relish of spiritual things;in short,whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind,that thing is sin to you,however innocent it may be in itself." -from zhihui's blog

that is sin. this book made me realize what sin is to me.

at the end of this book, on the death of Wormwood's ward, CS Lewis as Screwtape writes
"all the delights of sense or heart, or intellect, with which you could once have tempted him, even the delights of virtue itself, now seem to him in comparison but as the half nauseous attractions of a raddled harlot would seem to a man who hears that his true beloved whom he has loved all his life and whom he had believed to be dead is alive and even now at his door."

and that is what i must look towards, all my life. (:

TIFFANY AND CO I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE. hahahahaha.

The blessing of the LORD makes one rich, And He adds no sorrow with it. - Proverbs 10:22