val wants me to post a photo where he looks handsome.
he says i cannot multi-task.
i need to finish this caption before i can process what hes saying.

OKAY DONE.

studying is driving me nutssssssssssss.
today was quite a good day!
(:
but i ate so much today.

macs for breakfast, chicken rice for lunch and curry for dinner.
and i like my favorite reading spot behind the canteen.
i can sing as loudly as i like and no one tells me to shuddup :D

im still listening to stay by lisa loeb.
i need to learn to play an instrument properly.

and i was reminded of one of my favorite songs today (:

ive got good reason to be happy today
the Lord took all my cares away!
i cant help singing what a wonderful day
since i found the Lord!

ive got no reason to be gloomy and sad,
ive found such joy like i never had
the bells are ringing and they're making me glad
since i found the Lord!

wheeeeee.

i bumped into liquan after my run this morning (: he was dragging his little trolley school bag and he gave me this huuuugee smile i almost melted. hahahaha. and he gave me a strong hi-five too.

there are some days you wonder what the Lord is trying to tell you.
today is one of those days.
wait, and listen. (:

i didnt wake up in time to read today :(
but i am reading psalm71 now

"but i will hope continually, and will yet praise You more and more." -psalm71:14

i went running this morning! accomplishment. hahaha.
and as usual, i thought about a lot of things.
i went shopping with wenn yesterday! and i spent about 100bucks. on two dresses.
and she just instigated me to buy another one.
CHERIE KILL HER!!!

i have a very nice playlist now:
1. stay - lisa loeb
2. forever young - youth group
3. desperado - emi fujita
4. adia - sarah mclachlan
5. fools like me - lisa loeb
6. how to save a life - the fray
7. all at once - the fray
8. i'll be - boyz night out

okokokok. contracts!!!

i got up at 11am today. hahahaha.
we went for prata at 12 last night, and we ended up driving all the way to yishun and we went to BOTH cassurina branches and they were both closed. rahmen was in her most unglam attire. hehe
i almost died of hunger!

yesterday was not a very good day. but i found many things to be thankful for.
i was thinking about psalm71 while i was waiting for josh and val to come,
and i remembered the lesson i learnt about a year back.
that you cant control how people respond to you, but you can control how you respond to others.
learning to respond with wisdom, self-control and love is not an easy task.

but last night, as i sang 'Father forgive them' with becky shouting 'go mary!' (hahahahahahhaah.)
i figured,
its not so bad.
wisdom, self-control and love.
and learning to be blameless in His sight, its all that matters. (:



and, as i mentioned - there are so many other things to be thankful for. (:

attending evening service always gives me peace. its like a big sigh of relief at the end of a day of service. (haha. but its a good sigh nonetheless)

my mind was preoccupied with alot of things this weekend. TRUST. the theme of the month keeps recurring. in my head.
ip-kenneth preached on psalm62 today.

verses 2 and 6 say the same thing but i was hit with a new perspective today.
"He only is my rock and my salvation. He is my defense, i shall not be greatly moved."
verse 2 - the psalmist, david is unsure about His trust in God. He says these words as a reminder to himself to try to focus on the Lord.
verse 6 - a more exuberant declaration of faith. an affirmation that the psalmist has chosen to trust God and WILL NOT BE SHAKEN.

i think i am still at verse2 stage.

sometimes, who you are to me, is not who i am to you.
you know?

nothing is equal in this world.

leaves alot to think about.

if who i am to you is who you are to me,

the world would be just perfect.

LAWR IS GONNA BE OVER IN LESS THAN 15 HOURS!! :D

hahahah MY BLOG HAS ARCHIVES NOW!!
thanks to jason yaye :D

its nice to look back.
haha.
i miss ac.
i miss alot of things.

but i am too sleepy to think.
yesterday, when we sang at the esplanade, there was a group of disabled kids that performed a song item before us.
as i watched them leave the cafe one by one,
i was reminded of how blessed i am.
and i learnt the lesson of being thankful all over again.
and i remembered how important it is for us to remember.
remember His goodness,
and remember those who have less.

remember.
ihavetostopthinkingaboutwhatiwant.
ihavetostartthinkingaboutwhatHewants.
ihavetostartthinking/prayingforothersabovewhatiwant.

its no more memememememmeme
its He.

i am getting a headache from reading cases.



matthew! haha.




the sleeping disciples



wenn, me and my mary magdalene costume -_- hahahahaha. dont laugh. this is considerably better than being pilate's wife
:D

okayy, moots time.

i am really convinced that the Bible holds the truths we all need to learn and practise in our lives.
some things today made me think of colossians4:6
haha.
everytime people dont process the words they say before they emerge from their mouths,
i think of colossians4:6
and james3 for that matter
the tongue really is an unruly evil.

that being said, ive got much to learn too so that lesson's for me as much as it is for everyone else.

sometimes when you make certain prayers, you gotta be ready for the 'consequences.'
if you pray for a stronger faith, get ready for testing.
if you pray for greater trust, be ready for storms!

yesterday's evening service was on psalm71- a lifetime of trusting God.
a consciousness that i need to cultivate that much more.
you can never please people enough, DONT BOTHER. no matter how nice you are, someone will always have something nasty to say.
life's a stage. it doesnt matter, as long as youre wholly focused on pleasing the audience of just One.

okayyyyy i am going to watch greys now. i still want to watch the pursuit of happyness. :'(

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on a completely irrelevant note, this is from thea's blog! haha. seesee. the photos are really nice (:

you know when youre in love with someone, you keep thinking about that person. when youre not talking to that person, youre talking ABOUT that person. ahahah i got this email awhile ago from one of my retarded army friends who have nothing better to do with their lives. (whoops. hehehee okay i know they protect our garden city well (: )

Seventeen signs that you are in love with someone:

SEVENTEEN:

YOU LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE
CONSTANTLY



SIXTEEN:

WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE
AT
NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU STILL MISS
THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES
AGO.



FIFTEEN:

YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER AND
OVER AGAIN.





FOURTEEN:

YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH
THEM



THIRTEEN:

YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY'RE
AROUND.



ELEVEN:

WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART
BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE SAME
TIME



TEN:

YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.



NINE:

WHEN YOU lOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE
THE
OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All YOU SEE IS
HIM//HER.



EIGHT:

YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS,
WHILE
THINKING OF THEM



SEVEN:

THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.



SIX:

YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.



FIVE:

YOU REALlIZE THAT YOU'RE AlWAYS SMILING
TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM.



FOUR:

YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR
ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.



THREE:

WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE
PERSON
ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...



TWO:

You were so busy thinking about that
person, you didnt notice number twelve
was missing



ONE:

You just scrolled up to check & are now
silently laughing at yourself.

okay i thought some of these 'signs' were quite retarded, especially number six. most retarded. but ANW. that retarded email was not my point. now i am getting to my point. (totally failed if this was my memo. no conclusion, no rule, no rule proof. but anw, moving on)
i was just thinking about why Christ-centred friendships mean the most to me. cos when two people love the Lord, when youre not thinking/talking to Him, youre talking ABOUT Him. thats what makes it special. (:

the week has left me with many thoughts to mull over. two of the many thoughts ive had this week:
1. what does it really mean to have a deeper faith?
2. how much do i really love Him?

i cant figure out. i need to figure out, real soon.
galatians3. walk by faith (:

and yes, MEMO IS OVERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!
joy to the world.
and by next week, NO MORE LAWR FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
praise the Lord.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
mad.

this is ridiculous.

my substantial post comes later.

please listen to 'all at once' by the fray.
i shall refrain from posting the lyrics lest a flood of people come and ask me if some boy broke my heart -_-
hahahahhaha. FOOLS LIKE ME IS REALLY A NICE SONG

anw, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENLIEW!!

hahahah. sorry this is a little late.
i am still on psalm25. thinkthinkthink. haha and yesterday i read ephesians6 as i was reviewing last month's theme of 'strength'. strengthstrengthstrength.
i dont think ive figured out what it means to draw from His strength yet.
so many things to learn.

tsktsktsk.

hahahahahah. yesterday we had another walk in the park. JOSHUA KOH BOON CHUAN and VALMIKI CNAIR are the most sadistic twits on earth. both idiots grabbed a stick each and started whacking my legs. my goodness there were RED MARKS. like being caned by your parents in primary school.

greys!!! okay. i am going to stop being random. i promise to have something substantial to say for my next post.
oh. He loves me. i will remember that (: walk by faith!

Fools like me

Everybody go
The party's over
I want to be alone in my head
In my bed tonight
You never show

You must really love her
You think I don't know
But I do, yeah it's true
I think over is over

I'm right back where I started
(when it comes to wanting you)
I can't have what I wanted

[Chorus]
But I did, I can
I was, I am
Only human, living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed
If love is blind
If love's a drug
It always is
It always was and
Love was surely made for fools like me

I know where I'm going
I'm tripping I'm sliding around
That's ok
At least I'm excited
It wasn't how I planned it
(wasn't how I planned it
Feet are where I landed
At least I understand it now)
My feet are where I landed
(feet are staying on the ground)
[Chorus]

Fools like me
Fools like me

I did, I can
I was, I am
Only human, living, dying
Just like any fool who ever breathed

Maybe it's the sanest thing
Or just the sweetest kind of dream
But love was surely made for fools
(Love was surely made for fools)
Love was surely made for fools
(Love was surely made for fools)
Love was surely made for fools like me

benliew's ipod. haha. SO NICE!

i just slept half the afternoon away. garhhh i have not been getting enough sleepppp.

ive been thinking about some of the past experiences ive had with certain types of people. how upset i got and how i learnt to place it in His hands and walk through the process. and how at the end of it the lessons i learnt got me through the next experience with people like that. i suppose every circumstance of your life is a preparation for something else ahead. like how one trial makes you stronger for the next.

today's msg was on psalm25, one of my favorite psalms too. (: funny that pastor mentioned psalm32 and psalm51 in the process, saying that psalm25 was his favorite psalm amongst these three.
i remember psalm32 and psalm51. haha. i remember j1. i remember going to pastor mitch and crying my heart out. i remember him encouraging me with these two psalms, reminding me to look back to the Lord and not let anything get in the way. yea, i remember.

psalm25:6 - a plea for God to remember His tender mercies and His lovingkindness.
God can choose to remember the sins of your youth (psalm25:7)
or He can choose to remember His tender mercies.

the week is beginning again, and i have many missions to complete. and i am tired. but i will learn to pray for His tender mercies, everyday. cos if i dont? im sure i'll just flop over and die. yessiree i will.

9 March 2006

8.5
i am talking in codes, sorry.

caught 300 yesterday. i wasnt that freaked out, but the blood-spilling was kinda overly graphic. and all these heads flying off things dont really work for me :/ shucks. i thought it was gonna be a nice war show without so much gore but well :( and this val kept making so much noise next to me i totally laughed at the wrong parts of the show! when he commented about the state of the ogre's teeth i almost fainted. hahahaha.

10 March 2006

while i was waiting at marina bay mrt for kenneth to come with the church van, i was thinking about alot of things.
haha. and i was blasting my ipod in my ears, which is rare. my playlist was as follows:

cannonball - damien rice
far away - nickelback
i'll be - boyz nite out
home - michael buble

then peiyong, mari, mich and joel came to save me cos everyone else was still in church. hahaha.

the scenary was kinda soothing. it wasnt breath-taking, but it was soothing. i think green grass is soothing. haha.

the ypg1 outing was really funnnn hahaha everyone went a lil mad. while cherie and i were setting up our game station we discovered a million and one red ants so we both shrieked and ran for our lives. ahhahah ben and kenneth came to save us, but they didnt really do anything cos we just moved venue -_- while we were playing captain's ball i fought for the ball with my LIFE man just grabbed it and held on for dear life rolling around on the grass while ALL THE NICE KIDS kept trying to kopp the ball from me! did look kinda idiotic but oh well. hehe

met josh and val after dinner with my family haha. i think both of them are like my two advisors or something. just keep interrogating me and instructing me. hahaha. we drove down rifle range road at an insane speed and stupid josh kept flicking the headlights on and off. and since there were NO STREET LIGHTS it was quite freaky. and the two idiots threatened to leave me in the middle of the long road but i screamed. so no one did anything. hahahahaha. josh drove to kt's house after that and we just stood around for awhile. haha. i do not like the tail of kt's dog :/

11 March 2006

we practised our easter song item after service today. and stupid sam made me try this descant part that is insanely out of my sorethroat-voice-range. grrr. all that screaming during captains ball yesterday! haha. but our blending is better and i love the song so YAYE.

i think today's msges left me with alot of things to think about. i shall think then i shall blog. haha. but anw. i decided that songs influence my moods all the time, cos music is so soothing and so beautiful. if i had to give up either my sight, my voice or my hearing, it would be the eyesight anyday.


so anyway these are some excerpts from the songs ive been listening to recently. randomness before i start on my memo again (:

when im all alone with the stars above,
you are the one i love.

o the wonderful cross
o the wonderful cross
bids me come and die
and find that i may truly live

you step a little closer each day
still i cant say whats going on
you step a little closer to me
so close that i cant see whats going on

PAINT MY LOVE! it's a picture of a thousand sunsets.

i'd give anything to hear you say
that im more than a friend

strawberry fields forever!

say it's true, theres nothing like me and you

God of wonders beyond our galaxy
You are holy (:

there's something about the love of Jesus i may never understand.

light up, as if you had a choice.
even if you cannot hear my voice
i'll be right beside you, dear.

I will arise, like the sun at dawn's first light I will arise!
you can bury me that day, seal the tomb and turn away.
but the power of the cross wont be denied,
I will arise!

He didnt shake a million hands
or change a million lives
He simply changed the whole wide world,
one life at a time

cos im saving all my love for you

hahahahahaha. my mix of songs is really strange. ive been listening to alot of sad love songs as well as some worship songs lately. so mismatched. hehe

okay memo time byeeeee

from wenn's blog. haha. so sad :'(

my mind keeps wandering off to some ulu land and i cant concentrate on memorial and moots!! my goodnesssss.
have had to keep turning back to psalm128 and psalm 20 today.
like i said, living the Christian life isnt easy,
BUT. i think. these moments when no one else is around and you only have the Lord is enough to keep me hanging on.
cos He's always there. (:

I LIKE. hahahaha

memomemomootsmoots that fills about 90% of my head. hahahaha.
ms bininj kakadu is driving me up the wall.

BUT. this is my breaktime. i just walked all the way to block b to buy guava! haha. the uncle at the fruit stall took one look at me and said "GUAVA." i almost died laughing. i think i spent about 2bucks on guava today. seriously i am such a retard. it probably costs 2 bucks for the whole guava, not a few pathetic slices. aiyo.

i was practising my moots along the way to block b "may it please the court my name is rachael leong and i act for the appellant ms bininj kakadu...". i love taking a breath of fresh air. haha. i actually like walking in the open cos its such a change from the stale smell of the third floor of the CJ koh library that has become my second home.
and i couldnt help but appreciate the Lord's creation in all these little things of life.

yesterday's prayer meeting was on the blessings of the Lord, and i appreciated Pastor pointing out that the benediction at the end of the service is a pronouncement of GOD'S NAME on His people. and i like his ending, which pointed us back to psalm20.

May He answer you in the day of trouble
May His Name defend you
May He send you help from the sanctuary
And strengthen you
May He remember your offerings
and accept your sacrifices
May He grant you according to your heart's desire
and fulfil all your purpose

and i will rejoice. (:

there are many lessons i need to learn. to wait, to seek, to LOOK UP.

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

No more waiting, No more aching
No more fighting, No more trying

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

Love me..

this song is so perfect. hahahahah i actually just listened to the lyrics properly after many years. when it first came out i used to listen to it on repeat! haha. many thoughts on prayer meeting, but am too tired. tomorrow!

crim law assignment is finally over!! i am so happy. hahahhaa. i slept at 1am yesterday, which is pretty much a record for me. hahaha glenda slept at 5am -_- my goodness i would just die if i slept that little. hahahah. we went to have lunch and to cine to watch protege after. we spent about an hour in the apple shop sitting around, listening to ipods and talking. haha i think all the staff wanted to kill us and chase us out. and then it rainedandrainedandrained. but nice chris gave me a lift to church (: wheee! and i just ate prata. which is quite silly cos i need to start singing in abit. eeeeep.

hahahha okay. that was my rambling for the day so that benliew will read SOMETHING on my blog. now i will go on to my reflections for the week and this is where he stops reading. hahahaha

we had sunday school outing on wed!! hahahaha. i left the house at 630pm and trouped all the way to the back of united square to take 851 to bugis. and JUST BEFORE I LEFT i had amazing inspiration for my crim assignment, but i didnt have time to get it down, so, it was lost. :'( but its okay! haha. its over. anw it was rainingandrainingandrainingandraining like mad. hahha and i have to record the fact that i think there is some human love left in the world! haha. i was reading my crim law book on the bus and this old indian man came on board. he couldnt really walk properly so i got up and let him sit down. two seconds later, he got up and gave up his seat to a pregnant woman, who gave her seat to her young son. so sweeet (: but i was a little annoyed that the old man had to give up his seat. when there were so many other perfectly fit people sitting down. but oh well that was a nice look on the brighter side of the world (:

hahah okay now moving on to the substance of our sunday school outing.
haha. everytime we have sunday school outings im reminded to thank Him for my special friends. hahahha it sounds kinda ridiculous but i think the '87 bethany girls have a special bond. haha. its like we just manage to deal with each other and help each other and encourage each other all the time.
we had steamboat and the moment we sat down we started laughing like crazy over every single little thing i think i had enough exercise for the weekkkk
i like how we can share so freely with each other and i like that we have a common focus, a common faith, a common love that drives us to hang on and push each other on. never leave anyone behind. i like that (:

sidetracking for abit, i think aunty is VERY SNEAKY. she asks you vague questions and if you have a guilty conscience (like me) you go "HUH?!?!?! HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!?" when she was actually just fishing. grrr.

josh says ive been very emo and very stressed this past week. haha i think that is kinda true. ive been dwelling on what it means to really lean hard on the Lord and His strength. i had a few hard missions i set for myself this week. mission1 of surviving school is complete. mission2 of surviving and completing crim assignment is complete. mission3 is on its way to success. AND THE WEEKEND IS HERE!!!! hahahhha. so, He will give me strength to see mission3 to completion. (: and i have many more missions for the week ahead. i better start praying nowwwwwwwwwwwww.