promos are in five weeks! five weeks five weeks five weeks -FAINT. heh went to church to mug yesterday and i finished my physics tutorial 14! thats like the very first tutorial i've done in really long.. heh i've TRIED doing my tutorials but i just dont know how to do it sometimes so anw really thank God i managed to do this one (: and i did more in church than i would have anywhere else so YAYE heh ben quah was going crazy and ben chong was relieving stress by sleeping, singing and throwing ss books around heh when i listened to all the crap jokes they crack.. i almost died laughing and all the hokkien they've been using recently heh AIYO thats what o levels do to people man makes them go nuts

we're singing Heaven is counting on You on sunday again cos no one heard us during anniversary cos we were too soft so yaye we get to do actions again and this time really bring across the meaning of this song and no i am not gonna complain about the costume that makes me look like a construction worker heh but NEVERMIND its ok, all for His glory (:

mom got this a few days ago from my aunt: My kids seem to be eager to go home now, more Jamie than Darren. Its strange but Jamie is eager to go back to see Rachael. She told me a few days ago that whenever she looks at the skies (its usually clear skies where we are, no buildings blocking the view), she sees Rachael's face. She said that she remembers exactly what Rachael looks like because she promised her that she will never forget her...she hasn't.

when my mom showed that to me i almost cried cos i really thank God for jamie cos i love her sosososo much it made my YEAR after i read it. and truly sharing this kind of bond just makes me look forward to seeing her so much more and bring her to the saving knowledge of Him. i havent seen her for four years now, and she's eight i think. i've missed four of her growing up years but somehow i know He's got a plan even for this (:

came across psalm84:10-12 today "for a day in Your courts is better than a thousand. i would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. the Lord is your sun and shield, the Lord gives glory and grace. no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly. o Lord of hosts! blessed is the man who trusts in You."

really learning to appreciate His presence with me so much more and yes to glorify Him even in the area of my results. i am notttt gonna give up and no even though everyone thinks im a crazy nerd studying five weeks before promos i will be undaunted and stand firm in what i believe in! yaye for physics chem econs maths and gp [and fervent prayers for chinese heh]

i refuse to fail my promos i will glorify Him in word and deed and in all that i do. 1tim4:12 "therefore let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity."

this is my desire, to honour You. (:

ETERNAL INK

I dreamed I was in heaven
Where an angel kept God's book.
He was writing so intently
I just had to take a look.

It was not, at first, his writing
That made me stop and think
But the fluid in the bottle
That was marked eternal ink.

This ink was most amazing,
Dark black upon his blotter
But as it touched the parchment
It became as clear as water.

The angel kept on writing,
But as quickly as a wink
The words were disappearing
With that strange eternal ink.

The angel took no notice,
But kept writing on and on.
He turned each page and filled it
Till all its space was gone.

I thought he wrote to no avail,
His efforts were so vain
For he wrote a thousand pages
That he'd never read again.

And as I watched and wondered that
This awesome sight was mine,
I actually saw a word stay black
As it dried upon the line.

The angel wrote and I thought I saw
A look of satisfaction.
At last he had some print to show
For all his earnest action.

A line or two dried dark and stayed
As black as black can be,
But strangely the next paragraph
Became invisible to see.

The book was getting fuller,
The angel's records true,
But most of it was blank, with
Just a few words coming through.

I knew there was some reason,
But as hard as I could think,
I couldn't grasp the significance
Of that eternal ink.

The mystery burned within me,
And I finally dared to ask
The angel to explain to me
Of his amazing task.

And what I heard was frightful
As the angel turned his head.
He looked directly at me,
And this is what he said..

I know you stand and wonder
At what my writing's worth
But God has told me to record
The lives of those on earth.

The book that I am filling
Is an accurate account
Of every word and action
And to what they do amount.

And since you have been watching
I must tell you what is true;
The details of my journal
Are the strict accounts of YOU.

The Lord asked me to watch you
As each day you worked and played.
I saw you as you went to church,
I saw you as you prayed.

But I was told to document
Your life through all the week.
I wrote when you were proud and bold,
I wrote when you were meek.

I recorded all your attitudes
Whether they were good or bad.
I was sorry that I had to write
The things that make God sad.

So now I'll tell the wonder
Of this eternal ink,
For the reason for its mystery
Should make you stop and think.

This ink that God created
To help me keep my journal
Will only keep a record of
Things that are eternal.

So much of life is wasted
On things that matter not
So instead of my erasing,
Smudging ink and ugly blot.

I just keep writing faithfully and
Let the ink do all the rest
For it is able to decide
What's useless and what's best.

And God ordained that as I write
Of all you do and say
Your deeds that count for nothing
Will just disappear away.

When books are opened someday,
As sure as heaven is true;
The Lord's eternal ink will tell
What mattered most to you.

If you just lived to please yourself
The pages will be bare,
And God will issue no reward
For you when you get there.

In fact, you'll be embarrassed,
You will hang your head in shame
Because you did not give yourself
In love to Jesus' Name.

Yet maybe there will be a few
Recorded lines that stayed
That showed the times you truly cared,
Sincerely loved and prayed.

But you will always wonder
As you enter heaven's door
How much more glad you would have been
If only you'd done more.

For I record as God sees,
I don't stop to even think
Because the truth is written
With God's eternal ink.

When I heard the angel's story
I fell down and wept and cried
For as yet I still was dreaming
I hadn't really died.

And I said: O angel tell the Lord
That soon as I awake
I'll live my life for Jesus-
I'll do all for His dear sake.

I'll give in full surrender;
I'll do all He wants me to;
I'll turn my back on self and sin
And whatever isn't true.

And though the way seems long and rough
I promise to endure.
I'm determined to pursue the things
That are holy, clean and pure.

With Jesus as my helper,
I will win lost souls to Thee,
For I know that they will live with Christ
For all eternity.

And that's what really matters
When my life on earth is gone
That I will stand before the Lord
And hear Him say, well done.

For is it really worth it
As my life lies at the brink?
And I realize that God keeps books
With His eternal ink.

Should all my life be focused
On things that turn to dust?
From this point on I'll serve the Lord;
I can, I will, I must!

I will NOT send blank pages
Up to God's majestic throne
For where that record's going now
Is my eternal home.

I'm giving all to Jesus
I now have seen the link
For I saw an angel write my life
With God's Eternal Ink.

by Craig F. Pitts

my tribute.

how can i say thanks for the things You have done for me? things so undeserved but still You give, to prove Your love to me. the voices of a million angels could not express my gratitude. all that i am, and ever hope to be- i owe it all to Thee.

to God be the glory, to God be the glory, to God be the glory, for the things He hath done.

Hast Thou spoken, blessed Master?

Has Thou spoken, blessed Master,
Has thou whispered in my ear,

And have I because of dullness

Failed Thy precious voice to hear?

Has though sought to bring some message

From Thy heart of love to mine,

Which i've missed because earth’s clatter

Has drowned out Thy voice divine?

Have my hands been over-active

With a thousand lesser deeds,

While my heart has been oblivious

To my spirit's greater needs?

Have I been so bent on asking

For Thy help each passing day,

That i've not time to listen

To what Thou, O Lord, wouldst say?

O forgive me,

precious Saviour!

Still the tumult in my heart,

That my soul might hear the message

Thou art waiting to impart!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! oh man i feel so patriotic im gonna yell my lungs out during the parade tonight..

anw i have to repeat myself i love psalm91 (:

Compassion for the lost.

Sudden, before my inward, open vision,

Millions of faces crowded up to view-Sad eyes that said, '

For us is no provision,Give us your Saviour, too."

Sorrowful women's faces, hungry, yearning,

Wild with despair, or dark with sin and dread,

Worn with long weeping for the unreturning,

Hopeless, uncomforted.

"Give us," they cry, "your cup of consolation,

Never to our out-stretched hands is passed;

We long for the Desire of every nation,And, oh, we die so fast.
"Does He not love us, too, this gracious Master?'

Tis from your hand alone we can receive

The bounty of His grace; oh, send it faster

That we may take and live."

"Master," I said, as from a dream awaking,

"Is this the service Thou dost show to me?

Dost Thou to me entrust Thy Bread for breaking

To those who cry for Thee?

"Dear heart of love, canst Thou forgive the blindness

That let thy child sit selfish and at ease

By the full table of Thy lovingkindness,

And take no thought for these?

"As Thou hast loved me, let me love, returning

To those dark souls the grace Thou givest me;

And, of, to me impart Thy deathless yearning,

To draw the lost to Thee."

Lord, You've given me so much.

Lord, You've given me so much

brought me this far in a short time.

still theres so much room to grow,

help me to never stop, never stop searching for

ways i can serve you more.

the way You work through me is a mystery,

but help me see, how i can be

more of Your helper, more of Your child,

more of Your image inside.

when i look back through the years,

time after time i would fall from You.

still You gently picked me up

gave me a second chance,

brought me back home at last

grace so amazing to me.

help me to never stop, never stop searching for

ways i can serve You more.

the way You work through me is a mystery,

but help me see, how i can be

more of Your helper, more of Your child,

more of Your image inside.

Lord You've given me so much,

friends and loved ones surround my day.

yet in one who gave His life,

i found the perfect peace,

i found the perfect expression of love in this world.

help me to never stop, never stop searching for

ways i can serve You more.

sometimes life and people get so extremely extremely frustrating and thinking "His will" and breathing is just about all i can do to restrain myself from blasting at people that are so dense, they just dont get it. running on auto-mode for a few days is most definitely not good for the soul. BUT i read psalm91 last night and that made all the difference (: especially the last two verses of the psalm. psalm91:1 is printed clear and strong on the wall of the hall and it always serves as a reminder each time i trudge through the hall doors on monday and prepare myself to face a new week that i should never, never never be afraid and i should always just hold on to the promise He's given me and never let go.

some days i get scared and i just dont know where i can draw the strength to face a new week or a new day. then i go do my fair share of crying which by the way DOES help relieve stress and get rid of the constrictions in your brain and somehow He always manages to remind me He's right there beside me, all the way. i think songs are the biggest way in which He prods a reminder of His presence into me and im just eternally grateful for that (:

things dont always go the way i plan but the end of james4 says we shouldnt be planning out our lives but instead we should say "if it is HIS WILL" we shall go and do this or that. and thats what im stiilll trying to do failing trying falling getting up but WE WILL GET THERE and I WILL GET THERE (:

i feel extremely patriotic after jumping around with the choir during todays nndp celebrations and even then this really is home, and a wonderful home He's given me at thats (:

oh joy the long weekend is here! choir tmr and im gonna work superrrrrrr hard on my actions cos i and im sure the entire youth choir wants to sing well for Him on anniversary (: YAYE joy to the world! to God be the glory and i am not afraid..

i will get there :D

"listen, my beloved brethren, has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs to the kingdom which He has promised to those who love Him?" -james2:5

walking's never easy and i think the biggest thing that really weighs me down now is the serious lack of physical strength. i hardly even get to sleep nowadays and when i do the time periods are so short and definitely not enough for msihavetosleepfifteenhoursaday and all these i guess contribute very much to spiritual weariness and all that. added on to the fact that my temper is getting shorter and shorter and i just keep snapping at people when i get fed up.

butbutbut two verses have helped me control my temper lots of times thru the course of this week "therefore my beloved brethren, be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. for the wrath of man DOES NOT PRODUCE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD." -james1:19-20

sometimes i think back on the times in sec3 and 4, walking just seemed to be alot easier and trusting just seemed to come naturally. and i reallyreally have no idea why its this difficult now.

there is a candle, in every soul. some burning brightly, some dark and cold.

one of the lines in the songs we're singing for anniversary and i really want to be a lighthouse to those around me, and i know i've failed so horribly so miserably so terribly the past few months. but God is greater than our hearts [1john3:20] i look at the many examples of how people having great faith in God could move mountains and touch hearts in so many ways. daniel purposing in his heart [daniel1:8], paul reaching others despite the physical torment he went thru, and even real-life examples like rachel joy scott. reading rachel's tears and rachel smiles really ministered to me in a very special way cos i think in alot of ways i related to the struggles she faced and found difficult to overcome. and yet i look at how God led her and used her in a way that spoke to the hearts of millions. and i know we should never limit God. everything in my life seems small in comparison with the many others in the world and the great plans He has, but He could use a tiny life to do big things and thats what i believe He can do with my life too, what He can do in every one of our lives. even reaching one soul is a great big thing, but why stop at one? when there can be many.

sometimes when i sit and think, i get scared of what the future holds and what it may encompass. but i know its in His hands and no matter how tough it may be, i have hope in Him. hope that looks forward with UTTER CERTAINTY. and really, i dont need to understand (: