go and tell it on the mountains-
Jesus is born!

as i sit here and try to pen down my Christmas thoughts, my heart is overwhelmed. i picture mary and joseph in that damp, dark manger on that first Christmas night as they cradled their newborn baby with only a single stream of light from that special star. a multitude of the heavenly hosts sang an angelic chorus that night. glory, hallelujah, peace on earth, goodwill to men. wise men came from afar with gold, frankincense and myrrh. the shepherds came and fell down at the feet of this one, small child. and i think of how this one child bore the weight of the world on his shoulders. in the words of simeon, when he saw baby Jesus He praised God and said "my eyes have seen Your salvation."

isaiah 9:6 is the verse of the day on Bible gateway. Pastor's msg today revolved around this verse - 'unto us a Son is born.' what a precious, precious, special thought. every Christmas is different, and yet the same. as i grow older each year, the reality of the Lord's promises become even more evident to me, and i am seeing His hand of providence in so many aspects of my life. as i get older, life gets SO much more complicated. people change, and they fail you so very, very often. and i was reminded of my perspective of life [which is also thea's perspective (haha)] that every man is an island. and while i still do struggle with allowing the Lord to be my sufficiency now and then, to be content in Him gives a peace that is unattainable any other way.

'I am with you.' this phrase becomes even more special on Christmas day. for God became a Man. riches to rags. throne to a manger. and i do believe.

my heart is filled with a mix of fear and excitement as the new year draws near. fear because i dont know what to expect, but excitement as i embark on a new year of ministry and learn to serve in different ways. this year has taught me many lessons. ive learnt not to lean on the unreliable. ive learnt to guard my heart. ive learnt to seek the special presence of the Lord. im learning to cultivate a big heart. and all these lessons have steeled me to face what lies ahead.

as i prepare to step into the new year, i am reminded yet again of how blessed i am. good family, great church family, the Lord and my faith. i am living a life much fuller than many people ive met, a life that is constantly rejuvenated by hope. and though sometimes people damage you, at the end of the road He is standing, with arms open wide, and light to overpower the darkness. (:

dont sleep like Bethlehem did that first Christmas night when they failed to recognize their Savior.
see this little baby boy that was born to live, suffer and die, and save humanity.
merry Christmas, friends. (:

the past few days have been a test of my faith, and a test of my trust, in more ways than one.

Pastor Mark said something during yc that really struck me-
in the way you live your life everyday, you are inevitably putting your faith in many things.
when you order something online, you have faith that it will arrive on time.
when you drive down to the store to pick up a loaf of bread, you have faith that the store will remain open from 9am to 10pm everyday.
when you go to restaurant and order your food, you have faith that the food will live up to a certain standard and that you wont keel over and die after eating.

if i find it so easy to put my faith in these things, why cant i put my faith in the Lord?

today, i recalled a lesson that ip kenneth taught me awhile back, from the book of Genesis.

1. Ask God
- This was what Abraham did. Genesis 15:2-3

2. The Lord's reply and promise
- Genesis 15:4

also, that when you think the Lord is trying to tell you something, you cannot interpret things as and when they come and in any manner that you please. there have got to be certain, sure confirmation signs from the Lord.

right now, i am attempting to channel my life in a particular manner. but im learning to let go, and let Him. all i can do is ask, and wait for His reply. a reply that will make my faith grow stronger. and my love for Him grow deeper. and my hope in Him be as sure as the sun rising tomorrow.

as i grapple with the application of these lessons in my life, please pray for extra grace on me from Him. (:
and im off to sleep. (:

say to those who are fearful-hearted, "do not be afraid."
the Lord Your God is strong
with His mighty arms
when you call on His Name
He will come and save

He will come and save you
He will come and save you
say to the weary one,
"your God will surely come,
He will come and save you."

say to those who are broken-hearted, "do not lose your faith."

lift up your eyes to Him,
you will arise again
He will come and save you.

this is my favorite song this camp. and its a beautiful beautiful song.

the text is taken from isaiah 35:4
"say to those who are fearful-hearted,
'be strong, do not fear!'
behold, your God will come with vengeance,
with the recompense of God
He will come and save you."

on one of the days, ed, mel and lou made me sit down and think of secular love songs for them to be included in the game they were gonna play during chairing. a few random ones came up, in particular - "somebody save meeeeeeee!" [superman]
i must say i really am quite the stereotype of a girl. im not very good at carrying heavy things [hurhur], i get scared pretty easily, and i like being saved [figuratively ok.]

i was especially struck by this song because He promises that He will save me when i feel like im falling into a black hole. when my heart is weak and broken, when it begins to fear- He will be with me, and He will come and save me. and its not a maybe, "your God will SURELY come." i think of myself hanging onto the rope of life, weak, distant and my fingers begin to lose its strength and i begin letting go and falling, falling, falling. our God is an Almighty God. the God Who sent the ten plagues, the God of the pillar of cloud, of fire sent from heaven. our God is the God of Moses, of Abraham, of Isaac, of Jacob, of David. the God Who kept His promises and loved His servants. and as i fall, He catches me. i fall somemore and He catches me, and lifts me up to where i was meant to be. as i meditate on this thought, i remember the lyrics of this song

knowing not how best, to bring adoring love
to bow, to weep, to fall and yet
You whisper 'Child, draw near.'
and stand in the presence of the Lord.

to be able to stand in His presence is, in itself a wonderful and beautiful thought. the descriptions in revelation of the throne room of Heaven and the blinding and awesome presence and glory of the Lord is an unfathomable thought. one that simple, human minds are unable to comprehend.

on the one hand "I am with you." on the other, the glory of His majesty. how do i reconcile this? so often i forget that He doesnt have to reach down to us and heal our broken lives. i assume that thats what He has to do cos He is God. this incomprehensible promise, is enough to last me a lifetime.

FEAR NOT, for "I am with you." -isaiah 41:10

as i struggled with this thru camp, my mind and heart were also burdened by the sins i saw in my own life. everytime Pastor commends us [the camp comm] i am reminded of how unworthy i am. i do not know the Word of God well. i am unable to wield it effectively as a weapon against the evil one. i struggle to hold up my shield of faith. i struggle, i struggle, i struggle. with anything and everything. teenage angst and emo-ness will plague you for the rest of your life (even when you are no longer a teen) and it is a constant struggle to be reminded- His quiet, special presence brings a stillness that abides because of the unchangeable nature of God and the promise that He will stay the same, yesterday, today and forever.

and though i know i will stumble and fall, i was greatly challenged this camp to increase in my knowledge of the Word of God. how else can i defend my faith? how then can i help others if i myself am weak. to one day be the steady, strong, firm oak tree. not just vines that cling to trees for strength.

to my wonderful group, strength,
thank you for fighting hard during games
we will thresh the mountains and beat them small! hurhurhur.

serving in the music ministry has been such a blessing to my own heart.
to all my fellow music comm members,
auntie, ade, ed, kathy, sam, t pat. it has been such a joy serving with you!
its an honor to serve, to join in the fight
to lift up my voice,
to lay down my life
an honor to serve especially with the-ahem- older ones. [psst. auntie and ade have both been my vespers teachers before. hahahaha] (:
and to our wonderful guitarists who did their best to play in time [haha.]
ben chong and andrew foo (:
it was a joy serving with you too. [eh it rhymes. :D]
the Lord has truly blessed this ministry here at Bethany.

the sketch team,
i think you know by now that my acting sucks because i cannot stop laughing with andrew starts going
"goodgollygoodgollyguaguagua!"
basically that i cannot keep a straight face, and can only do retarded things with man like playing bear-man-gun on stage
but preparation for the sketch each afternoon was a blast.
and a great reminder of the need to show the love of Christ as exemplified in corrie ten boom's life.
thank you for allowing me to be part of that (:

to the rest of the camp committee-
publicity (posters were beautiful), games (fun!), AVA (especially! thank you for always being there to mike us up when we sing), programme (the lunch time special was wonderful (:).

to the camp cooks, food was so wonderful everyday. thank you for your labor of love (:

and finally to the Pastors, thank you for being so well-equipped with the Lord's Word. thank you for being an example.

i have many other thoughts but im reallyyyy tired so i shall leave my detailed thoughts for another day.
yc2007. its been 8years since i sat behind the kitchen of Bethany2 washing the green and purple plates and cups with green soapy water, ben playing with the soap and singing 'when i think im going under, part the waters Lord..'. 10years since i didnt like jus and she didnt like me, since all our childhood friends were still in Bethany. and 20years of the Lord's blessings. He has kept me, and loved me. and He says to me

"do not fear, for I am with you.
be not dismayed, for I am YOUR GOD.
I will strengthen you
yes, I will help you
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

-isaiah 41:10

my God. not just the God of Abraham, of Isaac, of Moses. but the God of leong li fen rachael. MY GOD.
an amazing, wonderful, incomprehensible promise.
my changeless, wonderful, God.

time. the most important gift you could ever give someone is your time.
as i began the day reading isaiah, i am thankful that ive been given the grace and the discipline to use my time wisely to learn and grow stronger in my faith. thinking back, ive got this really huuge tendency to waste my holidays. get up when its halfway thru the afternoon, go out all the time and not do anything substantial with my life.

somehow i am thinking about all the fences ive gotta mend and bridges i need to build before the new year starts. and i do not feel like embarking on this extremely arduous process.

now i am surrounded by music. youtube videos, itunes, scores, my guitar. (:
see all these really good aca pella songs!

mr brightside
hide and seek
such great heights

hurr. emo song of the day

Will someone please call a surgeon
Who can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart
That your're deserting for better company?
I can't accept that it's over...
I will block the door like a goalie tending the net
In the third quarter of a tied-game rivalry

So just say how to make it right
And i swear i'll do my best to comply

Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together

I feel must interject here you're getting carried away feeling sorry for yourself
With these revisions and gaps in history
So let me help you remember.
I've made charts and graphs that should finally make it clear.
I've prepared a lecture on why i have to leave

So please back away and let me go
I can't my darling i love you so...

Tell me am i right to think that there could be nothing better
Than making you my bride and slowly growing old together
Don't you feed me lines about some idealistic future
Your heart won't heal right if you keep tearing out the sutures

I admit that i have made mistakes and i swear
I'll never wrong you again
You've got a lure i can't deny,
But you've had your chance so say goodbye
Say goodbye

and soooooo.. EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wooohoooooo.
now when im asked me what im doing, i dont have to say 'dont ask.' YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

and so i have embarked on my reading of all 66 chapters of isaiah by sunday. and on a completely random note, guess what i found, my dear lawyer-to-be friends

"but with righteousness He shall judge the poor,
and decide with EQUITY for the meek of the earth,
He shall strike the earth with the rod of His mouth,
and with the breath of His lips He shall slay the wicked."

-isaiah 11:2

guess what, everything stems from God friends. equity did not stem from the courts of chancery 100 years ago. neither is equity the length of the chancellor's foot. equity came from the Bible 1000000 years ago!

haha. im a little high now cos im reeeeeaaaaaallllllyyyyyyyy happyyyyyyy (:

and i cannot wait for youthconference2007. (:

The professor of a Contract Law class asked one of his better
students, "If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about
it?"
The student replied, "Here's an orange."
The professor was
outraged. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!"
The student then replied, "Ok.
I will tell him - "I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my
estate and interests, rights, claim, title and advantages of and in,
said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp and seeds, and all
rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise
eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice,
rind and seeds, anything herein before and hereinafter or in any deed,
or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the
contrary in anywise notwithstanding.

Multiply that by 2561 times and you get THE COMPANIES ACT.

[for credits see thea sonya rahmen]

and you doctors studying for your MCQ final exam think you have a hard time.
hurhur.

when monday's company law exam is on my mind and ive got tons of stuff to read and revise and millions of soft copy articles over and above the actual syllabus, it is always a challenge to keep my promises to God. the non-negotiables, the service and the commitment. and i am never, never disappointed. you see the time you spend doing God's work is not time lost- its time gained. and i constantly need to remind myself to see things from that perspective. cos that is THE perspective, and no other one is right.

both Pastor's messages i heard today were amazing, impactful, left so many deep thoughts in my mind.
within that short span of two hours (that i spent away from my books *phew) i learnt a few things that made me stronger to get through the next two days:
1. I learnt that forgiveness comes a little easier when you see things from His view
2. I learnt that God honors me, loves me, and will "give men for me, and people for my life."

precious in His sight. we tend to assume that we ARE precious in His sight. and its true, but the truth of it doesnt mean that we should take it for granted.

but the question that really struck me was - is God precious in your sight?
that is a question i need to re-answer again. hurhur. we have all been charged with the responsibility of reading isaiah1-66 before saturday comes. hur. and i am gonna do it! after monday (:

i cant wait. !!! (: (: