today has been a good week. (:

spent time with crystal, got to eat at the line with cherie cos her mommy so sweetly invited me (: haha. watched law people play poker, and witnessed the scariest, most exciting last round of poker, where sam lost 12bucks to junqiang. played blockus many times over, with joan going "chill guys, its just a game!" cos we were all being mad and competitive. hahaha. i have been a helpline for emo people many times over this past week. hehe. glad to be of service! hahahaha. but im not emo, YAYE :D just got back from weijun's birthday thingy. it started raining at seven so all the guys just stood in the rain and barbequed while the girls sat in the shelter eating cupcakes and waiting for the food to be ready. hahaha. and good, we've settled on a day for our class gathering, and for the first time in a long time im gonna be able to go cos i made jin plan it around me. mwahaha.

*out of point: i heard 'hey there delilah' three times in the car today. and im listening to it the fourth time on itunes. haha.

have done some self-reflection too. you know how sometimes you see so many things wrong with this world and you wantwantwant to change it? this past week, ive been faced with a few things that i would love to change. if i had the power to zap it all right, i'd do it. but i dont. and im learning, that the only thing left to do is to pray. today, i read the story of how abram made his wife sarai pretend to be his sister before the pharoah so that he could preserve his own life. he fled from the promised land of canaan because of a famine in the land. he didnt trust God enough to believe that the Lord would provide in His time. but despite abram's disobedience, God still stood by his servant, and plagued pharoah's household for abram's folly. and its a wonderful, comforting thought to know that the Lord is right there beside you, and He'll never let you go.

from conversations ive had with some of my friends, ive concluded that we've arrived at the stage in life when you begin to question what the meaning of life is. you begin to wonder how everything came into being, why life is so unsettled, and oftentimes tragic. and then you wonder if there really is a God. there are two possible outcomes:

1. you start looking. you start asking questions, you start seeking, you start reading, and most importantly, you start praying. and through all this your faith is strengthened and your relationship with the Lord renewed.
2. you drfit away, and you eventually give up.

sometimes i wish i could take things into my own hands and zap everyone's heart back into being right with God (including my own sometimes). but thats not something i can do, and i know, the answer is simply, prayer. and i hope you know that i will be praying.

now, i am tired. my brain is wonky! im going to crawl under my lovely down blanket and sleep, till tomorrow..good night world. (:

that He is more than enough for me. (:

You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know.
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know.

And all of you
Is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough

You're my sacrifice
Of greatest price
Still more awesome than I know.
You're my coming King
You're my everything
Still more awesome than I know.

And all of you
Is more than enough for
All of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough
You are more than enough.

More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me.
More than all I know
More than all I can see
You are more than enough for me.
More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me.
More than all I know
More than all I can see
You are more than enough.

All of you
Is more than enough for
All of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you. (Oh Yeah)
And all I have in you. (Jesus)
And all I have in you is more than enough.
More than enough.

i think this ties in so beautifully with what ive been reading in 'by faith we understand.' about how abraham went where he didnt know he was going, simply cos the Lord told him to go. and i wanna go. wherever He leads. (:

I think we've been here before
I recognize this place
I've seen the marks of confusion
wipe out a single sign of grace
And I don't want to play anymore
Not when the stakes are so high
So before we circle round once more
I'm gonna lay down,
Lay down my pride

Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
Let it go

I turn on the TV
and it screams out at me
Nothing seems to have changed
since the start of Adam and Eve
So we're waiting for the sky to fall
and we're buying brand new toys
But before we circle round once more
Can we lay down
Just lay down this pride

Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
Let it go
Don't go wasting your emotions
No one wins if we keep score
Let it go, let it be
Let it go

no one wins if we keep score.

oh my goodness. my guitar was almost smashed to smithereens along with my mac. !!!
thankfully not.

*phew.

choosing to dwell on what is good is never any easy thing. choosing joy! always..

we supported the kids from the back of the sanctuary by doing the actions today. their version of 'its a great thing to praise the Lord' was really beautifullllll. it brought me such joy to see them do the actions and sing! haha.

today, there are a few things i have to be thankful for

NUMBER ONE
i saw becky and grace during lunch, so they asked me if i wanted to sit with them. i said okay, but i had to do something else first. so when i went to look for them, becky and laughed and told me 'zehzeh rachael, we choped a seat for you!' hahahha. that really made my day (:

NUMBER TWO
beth was extra friendly and sweet today.

NUMBER THREE
today's evening msg was SUPERDUPERGOOD. kenneth, you are getting better everyday and we are so proud of you.
i read through the book of philippians when i got home just now. really is amazing how paul exhorted the philippian church to find joy, how he was a WONDERFUL EXAMPLE of joy, how he relied on joy as his strength in ministry, how joy made him EFFECTIVE as a servant of God and how he never, ever forgot the importance of having joy in his life.

NUMBER FOUR
mini h2h (good one not emo one) with cherie over tehpeng at jingwan

NUMBER FIVE
major h2h with jus over dinner and sleepover [kenneth says when you encourage others, you will feel encouraged too! that is so true (:]

NUMBER SIX
we never die for memory verse contest. hahahahhahah

NUMBER SEVEN
yvette is BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NUMBER EIGHT
ive narrowed down the option answers to my problems, now i just gotta pray that my actions dont contradict my decisions.

NUMBER NINE
finally talked to boon chuan after very long

NUMBER TEN
finally talked to benliew after very long

NUMBER ELEVEN
finally talked to uni after very long

NUMBER TWELVE
(this is being thankful on behalf of bbq, that he got into ocs!!) guess what, he told me he was becoming a storeman, and i seriously believed him. i think i am quite stupid.

NUMBER THIRTEEN
i have very nice friends that look after me.

okay. my list is quite done. im sure i'll remember more after i go to bed. i am really sleepy! tomorrow will be a new day, and a good day. lovelove to everyone!

my mind has been replaying the past year in my head. and some things have made me feel very :/ sad.
when you realise the persons you used to be able to rely on, share things with and love dont exist anymore.
when the winds of change blow again, everything is lost.
i look at you, and you look the same to me.
but everything inside has changed.
we dont share the same goals anymore.
we dont talk the same frequency anymore.
or maybe it was just the person i thought you were, when you were never really.

okieee. no more emoness, but unless something changes within the next 24hours, i am letting go.
nothing else i can do, everything else is in His hands. (:

Jesus' love is sweet and marvelous
Jesus' love is sweet and marvelous
Jesus' love is sweet and marvelous
oh-oh marvelous love!

this song is stuckkkk in my head! haha.

when i look back on this week, and how junior camp turned out so wonderfully, my heart is filled with thanksgiving. it really is amazing to see how He blesses the work of our hands even when we are inadequate. alot of things made me happy this past week, so i shall list them and be thankful (:

1. i survived on five/six hours of sleep a day
2. there werent any really disastrouc accidents at camp
3. the kids seemed to enjoy the msgs that were being preached to them
4. they seemed to be enjoying the food the aunties and uncles cooked!
5. they laughed super loudly at the sketches and the pt of the sketches was brought across beautifully
6. the music ministry is growing! and the kids enjoyed singing the new songs (:
7. music makes them happy, especially music like 'love the Lord your God' cos they love singing in rounds (:
8. stacey and i were in charge of the p3s and p4s and they did the actions for the "you who" song so weelll!
9. our chairing went pretty well
10. i was an encouragement to someone!
11. MY TEAM WON!!!! MY LIGHTNING WON!!!!!! hahahhaha.

i msged benchong to tell him we won
me to ben: we won!! haha.
ben to me: AHHH!!!! I LOVE LIGHTNING!!!
(crazy. i think both of us and zheehwee, the officers were even more ons about the games than the kids. hahaha. super unglam. si yu has this video of me screaming and jumping up and down while i was cheering for my lightning. hahahha)

heres our team cheer [which ben thought of, and made me use!]
lightning lightning lightning strike,
lighting lightning strike your backside
lightning lightning fight with all your might
lightning lightning strike strike strike!!!

hahahahahhaha. i laughed like crazy when he told me his cheer. the kids in my team were so cute though, we kept brainstorming for new cheers which were definitely notches higher than ben's unglam, ah-beng cheer (which we still used btw) hahhaha along with our remix of gwen stefani's 'sweet escape' and 'thats the way uh-huh uh-huh we like it!'. AND we won most courteous team! so proud of my lightning (: hahahhaha. our greetings at each games station...

"good afternoon teacher... and teacher... MAY THE LORD BLESS YOU!"
hahahahah first and most courteous team. hahahahahha YAYE. on tues, when my kids saw me in the morning, they ran up to me and started jumping up and down "teacher gavin gave us 100pts for being the first team to keep quiet!!!" hahahahhaha.

last night, becky and grace kept wrapping their arms around my stomach and going "yaye, so comfortable!" [translasted "yaye, so fat!"] -____- i think i need to go on a diet. hahaahah. i asked grace "are you calling me fat?!" and her eyes WIDENED like anything and she said "nooooo. its your sweater, so comfortable!" then she jumped on me again. hahahha. super funny. i miss them all :'(

on a more serious note, i think ive learnt a few important lessons this week.
1. ive realised that politics exist everywhere, and theres no running away from it! and instead of taking everything to the negative, im just gonna trust the Lord and practise the principle of ephesians4:31

"let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. and be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."

2. that when everything plays out the way it is, the only thing left is to trust the Lord and believe that He will provide in His own beautiful time.

3. sometimes the things i say hurt people in ways i never expect, and i always dont realise it. so while i lament the extra-sensitivity of persons whom i work with/come in contact with, the only thing i can ask for is for God to change me, and make me better! [and a lil more sensitive] (:

You scored as Nerdy Girl, Nerdy Girl 69% Hippy 63% Athletic Tomboy 50% Popular Bitch 50% Preppy Girl 44% Loser 0% Slut 0% Goth 0% What type of girl are you?!! created with QuizFarm.com

some random quiz that i did. and im..thankful. in many ways, for alot of things. WE ARE GOING TO PICK VETTE UP TOMORROW!!!! omg. i cannot wait. hhahha. my best friend is driving :D heeheeee yayeeeeee. but i still have to get up at seven :( so anw. im going to sleep with a mind free of problems and a heart filled with joy. AND I WILL GET UP TOMORROW MORNING, THE SAME WAY. cos im walking in the light!!

haha. good night world. (:

i got dragged out of my pj's at 1130 last night cos ianseahtheflirt was bored and made me go to newton with him, sit in the heat and talk. hahahahah. i laughed insanely the whole way. talking about our ac days and me listening to the incredulous army stories of marching and flags and punishments, i laughed until i cried. i stopped laughing when he started laughing at the number of pts i got for my driving test. that toot only got TEN PTS, and i promise you i can park better than him. !!!! but anw.

because preparing for chairing has made me an expert at video editing and comiclife!, at your request, ms ang, here are our photos from chris and aldine's wedding. [IM SORRY, there are NO pictures of the bride and groom, only us, because my itchy fingers just had to take a photo of the roses at the door moments before chris and aldine walked in. and by the time my camera re-loaded, they were up on stage and farfar away. so. no decent photo of the bride and groom :'(]







there are some friends with whom you can maintain comfortable silences. there are friends you need to maintain constant contact with. there are others where you can just pick up where you left off, and it feels like just yesterday you last talked. i think the Lord has been so gracious, He's provided me with all types of friends. friends that grow with me, walk with me and encourage along the way. friends that look out for me, and look after me. friends that can make me laugh until my sides ache and i fall off my chair. all these are the blessings i overlook, all the time. and for everyone who has been one of these to me, thank you, i love you, and i thank Him for you everyday (:

hahahaha. i am SORRY that this is turning out to be an emo post! but this is good emo.

i watched the wizard of oz with my girls today. hahhaha. after watching youtube clips of 'wicked', my love for the land of oz was rekindled. hahahahhah. and i finally got to meet kohboonchuan today. after super long. and i was in a mad mood so i made him waste twobucks of parking money. and now, after four hours of video editing, my back is achingggggggg. aching like crazyyy. and my shoulders are aching too. ouchie.

i found out some pretty horrifying things today. and i figured some things out for myself, and im sticking to auntie's principle!
of watch and pray. (:

i just ate chocolate tao huay. yayeeeeeeeeee :D
happy, shalalala.
okay i am just being plan mad.

and so, we finished filming our video!!!!!
i am happy. (:
with alot of bloopers, jon attacking man, everyone being retarded, all caught on TAPE.
ed and i are gonna have a jolly good time editing everything tomorrowwwwwwww

anw, i caught fantasticfour today with sam and ben.
IT IS A VERY GOOD SHOW.
cos jessica alba (no man, not you) is h-o-t.
i want my wedding gown and veil to be exactly like hers (:
hahahahha. and this is the first time ever i caught a movie on its debut day. yaye! so exciting (:

my meditation this morning was about how to link your meditation on God's word, to joy! psalm104:34 (:
been thinking back on the Lord's Word throughout the day. snapping myself back when my mind starts to wander and i start steering off track. then i have to think back to my state of 'settlement' yesterday, and everything works out a-okayyy (:

alwights. am off to sleep.
but before i go, i came across a really random nice song in my ipod yesterday. its called more than love - los lonely boys.
i know its more than love, baby, i can feel it when im close to you
i know its more than love, baby, do you?
its so old school. but its so sweeeeet! (:
good night world.

so, i feel very settled. (:
i just feel like im learning to wait upon the Lord, and im just trusting Him for everything He has in store for the future.
and im not worrying, and not fretting, even though life isnt in 100% tiptopshape.

i received a postcard from zhi the other day!! hahaha. hes in some little french town, wrote to say hi and he remembers me. hahahahha. i really got a shock when i read the postcard. reminds me of our jc days when we used to trudge from class to class and i'd make him carry all my books. HAHHAHA. no la. kidding only. :D

but i am officially b-r-o-k-e.
no more money.
really.
so now, i am going to STOP eating out.
i am going to stay home and eat homecooked food everyday. learn to cook, and learn to clean.
my maid is gone for three weeks, so im going to become a member of the good wives club soon.
but with no husband.
hahahahahhaha.

I FRIED 20 EGGS THE OTHER DAY.
i am now an expert.

hahahhha.
i was just reminded today of how apt sunday's evening msg was.
to learn to FIND JOY in every circumstance of life.
pastor mark turned us to phlippians and how paul found joy in the midst of having been jailed.
he found joy in the fact that the gospel was being preached.
and it really is such a wonderful thought (:

to choose joy with:
1. my mind
2. my heart
3. my will
4. my spirit (:

junior camp is in just a few days.. cant wait! to choose joy (:

people kept calling me while i was sleeping this afternoon.
first, wenn called me to ask if i had a color printer.
then, cedric called me to follow him to buy something (which we didnt get to buy in the end cos i slept till 6)
then cherie called to announce that shes coming to dump her stuff at my place.

hahahhaha. and i gave cedric a good shelling cos he woke me up during the deep sleep part of my sleep cycle. and i had a splitting headache!!! i put an ice pack on my head and went back to sleep -_-

chris and aldine's wedding dinner was reallyyyyyyyyyyy good. really gonna miss them both. (:
and i just watched ocean's thirteen with ianchrisandcharlene. i almost fell asleep in the theatre. i am very sleepy!!!
okay, good night world.

yaye i finally finished uploading my japan photos!

alot of things have made me very happy this weekend (:

first, chris and aldine's wedding!
we spent half the wedding laughing.
all the bloopers:
1. pastor to aldine's dad when he was giving her away: okay you can let go now!
2. pastor to chris while he's taking his wedding vows: chris im going to talk to you now you can take your eyes off her
3. aldine trying to put the wedding ring on chris' right finger -_-

mwahahahhahahha. so funny. they are so cute.

after the wedding, little gabriel came up to me and started pulling my hand like crazy. haha. hes not so little anymore so my hand is painful. hahahah he bought me this little minnie mouse keychain from the hk disneyland. haha. his mom came to talk to me and said he insisted on buying it for meee (awwwww.) haha. but he bullies me all the time so i guess this makes up for it. (: haha!

we taught new songs at children's worship2 yesterday. hahahha. the boys were so cute cos they look so blur. but 'children of the King' went well!
but i slept on the very hard floor yesterday. my head is throbbing and my back is aching! :(

but God has been good. in so many ways (:

okay im done talking. haha YAYE!
my head is pretty much cleared up now, i am happy (:
dont take what others construe things to be, trust that God will show the way (:
hugs rahmen. that was a very good reminder.

im still listening to 'defying gravity' on repeat!
hahhahahaha. i love that song (:

jus sam and geof are over now, watching elizabethtown. but that show is boringggggggg. aside from the occasional sweetbits. so i am blogging while they are watching.

from the moment i got up, my mind has been filled with alot of frustration.
but this morning, i sat on my bed and i told the Lord that i need all of His strength to bring me through this.
see, exams are over, but NEW SET OF PROBLEMS.
so dont wish for things to be over, more crap will come your way.

hahahaha. thea rahmen just called, too distracted. my thoughts later.

i have listened to 'defying gravity' manymany times over.

and nobody in all of oz
no wizard that there is or was
is EVER gonna bring me down.

i have had insufficient sleep.
my head is throbbing
that is not a good sign.

hahahaha i just remembered some stuff i wanted to blog about while i was on the trip.
i was listening to secular songs on my ipod. hahaha and i realised that almost everything is about love. boygirl love, most of the time. and theres a song for every feeling.

theres iamsoinlovewithyou [come what may - moulin rouge]
theres icantbelievesomethinghappened [save the best for last - vanessa williams]
theres retarded songs like mood rings - relient k

'Let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings
So we'll be tipped off to when they're ticked off
Cause we'll know just what they're thinking,
Just what they're thinking...' [i laughed through the whole song, hahahha but its is true. girls are generally quite emotional. hahahhaha. thankfully, i think im becoming more like a boy :D - pastor mitch says thats a good thing. hahahahha)

theres imissyousomuch [here without you - 3 doors down]
theres those you dont understand [sophia - nerina pallot]
theres pleasecomeback [stay - lisa loeb]
theres imsoconfusedidontdare [all at once - the fray]
then theres even more retarded ones like sweet escape - gwen stefani
theres whydontyouloveme [what can i do - the corrs]

and theres my perfect guy song!!! [mr beasley - corrinne may]

hahahaha. its amazing the how songs can convey all the feelings in the world. but in the midst of listening to all these songs, my ipod shuffle function shifted to the song 'My Jesus' by Todd Agnew. i havent listened to that song since the period when i kept rewatching the youtube video of it and crying. and as i listened to the lyrics of the song, i was once again reminded that no matter what love exists in this world, the greatest love of all is the love that He gave to us when He came down to die on that cross.

if ephesians says to imitate Christ,
why do you look so much like the world?

i enjoy daydreaming. i like imagining what my life will be like ten years down the road. what will i be? where will i work. will i be married? will i still be serving the Lord. will i have grown tired of walking the narrow way? and i honestly have no answers to those questions. but now i just gotta keep building. and trusting. (:

there's a fine,fine line between a lover and a friend;
there's a fine,fine line between reality and pretend;
and you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.
there's a fine, fine line between love
and a waste of time.

there's a fine,fine line between a fairytale and a lie;
and there's a fine,fine line between "you're wonderful" and "goodbye."
i guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
but there's a fine,fine line between love
and a waste of your time.

and i dun have the time to waste on you anymore.
i dun think that you even know what you're looking for.
for my own sanity,i've got to close the door
and walk away

there's a fine,fine line between together and not
and there's a fine,fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
you gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime
there's a fine,fine line between love
and a waste of time.

-there's a fine,fine line-
avenue q

thats from zhihui's blog. hahaha. even though its a song, i think it works well as a poem too! haha even though its kinda sad. hehehehhee.

Defying gravity - Wicked.

GLINDA
Why couldn't you have stayed calm, for once! Instead of flying off the handle -- !

I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy now
I hope you're happy how you've
Hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you're clever

ELPHABA
I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy too
I hope you're proud how you would
Grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition

GLINDA & ELPHABA
So though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy
Right now

GLINDA
Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry!

You can still be with The Wizard
What you've worked and waited for
You can have all you ever wanted -

ELPHABA
I know
But I don't want it - No!
I can't want it anymore

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by
The rules of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes
And leap...

It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravity
And you can't pull me down

GLINDA
Can't I make you understand
You're having delusions of grandeur?

ELPHABA
I'm through accepting limits
Cuz someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost

I'd sooner buy defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

Glinda, come with me. Think of what we could do - together!

Unlimited
Together we're unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest team
There's ever been - Glinda!
Dreams the way we planned 'em

GLINDA
If we work in tandem

GLINDA & ELPHABA
There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I, defying gravity
With you and I defying gravity

ELPHABA
They'll never bring us down!

Well, are you coming?

(GLINDA decides to stay behind.)

GLINDA
I hope you're happy
I hope your happy now that your choosing this -

ELPHABA
You too--
I hope it brings you bliss

GLINDA & ELPHABA
I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy my friend

ELPHABA
So if you care to find me
Look to the Western sky!
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves the chance to fly
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who ground me
Take a message back from me!

Tell them how I am defying gravity
I'm flying high, defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!!

GLINDA
I hope you're happy

CITIZENS OF OZ
Look at her
She's wicked
Get her!!

ELPHABA
Bring me down!

CITIZENS OF OZ
No one mourns the wicked
So we got to bring her -

ELPHABA
Ahhhh!

CITIZENS OF OZ
--Down!

A VERYVERYVERY beautiful song. i am upset cos i missed the chance to watch the musical in universal studios!!! kill me please. i want to watch the original though. maureen from rent! beautiful (:

and so endeth my seven day escape.

am glad to be back, but having not figured out answers to alot of things, i need more time.
and my ability to persuade myself has GOT to get better, when actions and situations sway me to think otherwise.
im back to the world of politics. politics, politics, and more politics.

i like habakkuk3:17-19
"though the fig tree may not blossom
nor fruit be on the vines
though the labour of the olives may fail,
and the fields yield no food
though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
and there be no herd in the stalls

yet i will rejoice in the Lord,
i will joy in the God of my salvation
the Lord God is my strength

He will make my feet like deer's feet
and He will make me walk on my high hills."

to be able to have a faith that trusts God no matter what happens in life, is something im really praying for and working towards. stick to the original plan.

well at least ive reached a few conclusions while i was away. need to do some serious priority reshuffling. and i am being incoherent. until i work my thoughts out, habakkuk it is.

i am very sleepy. seven days of rushing around! i need a holiday to recover from this holiday. hahahah. anw, WE WENT TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS TODAY. it was so much better than disneyland. less crowd, more exciting rides. oh man. i am totally in love with the spiderman ride. the best ride of my life!! hahahah. and the rollercoaster. knocked the life out of me. from the moment the first drop began i started screaming and buried my head in my brother's shoulder. i queued for thirty minutes and didnt see a thing -_- dropping down vertically is BAD FEELING. haha. but i survived. i didnt puke. im good (:

ive been emo-ing to myself the past few days. josh is happy cos i am not emo-ing to him. HAHAHHAH. okay im kidding ive just been pensive. thats what long bus trips do to you and youre listening to your emo playlist on shuffle. i just read uni's blog. and YES i do think holidays away from singapore give you a small hole in which you can hide and figure out a way to deal with life. i havent figured out a single answer to the questions in my head though. have been reading the psalms, many thoughts. haha. be back soon!

i miss everyone. (:

hahahahhaha this is quite amusing. blogger is in jap. I WENT TO DISNEYLAND TODAY!!!!!! we queued for an hour for the retarded peter pan ride? and it lasted 2mins. TWOMINUTES. i almost killed myself. the star wars tour thing was rather amusing. but my family is un-adventurous. and my brother is a chicken. he refused to go for the space blaster ride with me cos my dad said during an emergency you have to run out in 7seconds. -___- seven seconds is a long time! grrrrrr. and so all i got to go for were un-scary stuff. man.

but i had fun eating. haha. although queues are EVERYWHERE. literally. everything you wanna get, you gotta queue. whether its popcorn or churros or rides or paying or toilets, you gotta QUEUE. (when we first got there, i saw people queueing to get into the mrt. i almost fainted). the thing about japan is, everything is insanely expensive. a meal at a food court costs a minimum of 8dollars. pepper lunch here is sooooper expensive. ice cream is expensive. clothes are ridiculously priced. i walked into parco just now and every dress i saw was 20,000yen and above. which is more than 200singdollars. haha. so i just gave up shopping after awhile. and i noticed jap people rattle on even when they know you dont understand what they're saying. haha. cute. but not understanding jap is quite a bother. haha. i only know the most important line which man and michelle taught me!

"toi de wa, doko deska?" [where is the toilet]
hahahahhaha. very impt for people who suffer from tb.

but the weather, ooohhhh the weather is beautiful. thats an understatement. the past few months in singapore i cant go beyond five minutes outside airconditioning before i start perspiring. here, aircon is EVERYWHERE. and its beautiful. i love the weather. the flowers are beautiful, everything is beautiful.

anw, i have come to the conclusion that i do not like tours. i do not like getting up at 6am and being dragged to different destinations. i like freeee and easyyyyy. thats what a holiday is supposed to feel like!

but on a more serious note, ive had lots of time to think and enjoy nice scenary on the longggg bus rides we've been taking. we stay in a different hotel every single night. arghhss. but anw my head is pretty much cleared of worry. ive been reviewing the msges from the yag retreat. and well i do hope this marks a permanent change in the kind of regard i give to prayer. reading the 'case for faith' is also helping me shift my focus back to the Lord and reminding me of the reasons why i keep trying, when oftentimes it seems so much easier to let go. gotta stop praying with doubt, and ive to believe so much more that prayer DOES WORK. and that its an honor to fight battles on your knees. (:

okay. i need to be up at 6 again tmr. i am going to visit a wasabi farm -_- i hope i dont fall asleep. haha. good night world.

YAG retreat day1 was very thought provoking.
just one thought: prayer is coming before the throne of grace, something that only the High priest could do, once a year, when he entered the Holy of Holies. today, we can enter into His presence, everyday.

hebrews4:16
"let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

and so my decision is confirmed. the paradigm of prayer, the myriad of ways through which the Lord answers and probes you in the right direction. i think this is the right direction. deeper, everyday.