let my life be the praise,
that raises You Lord
let my life be the praise,
be glorified in all that i do
as a daily reflection,
of Your Godly perfection.
let my life be the praise,
let my life be the praise to YOU

its seriously difficult to remember to keep that focus and the reason why we should live the way He would've wanted us to what with five hours of singing and someone throwing her temper at us for like NO apparent reason and sometimes i seriously ask why we have to live on this crappy earth with crappy people when even us ourselves are crappy heh and then i remember- we're PRIVILEGED to be able to suffer for Him :D not deprived, PRIVILEGED (:

and i get all happy again :D

my God

All my life You have been with me
How could I pretend not to see
I was walking on the line
I was wasting precious time
All I know is that You love me

If I call You will set me free
It's a promise that You made
It's the truth that will not change
Please help me to remember

My God has never let me down
My God has turned my world around
He loves me even though I know
I don't deserve Him
My God has never turned away
He's with me every single day
He's broken all the chains and set this captive free

Seems to you all your hope is gone
Never found a love that strong
It's a chance you have to take
A choice you've got to make
I hope that you'll remember

My God will never let you down
My God can turn your world around
He loves us even though I know we don't deserve Him
My God will never turn away
He's with you every single day
He's broken all the chains and set this captive free

(: morning devotions are getting better heh even as i struggle to not get a headache while reading in the car and all, and it really marks a good start to the day hurmm ESPECIALLY when youre stuck in a halfhourlong jam, end up late in school and get dirty looks from the discipline mistress and find that more than half the people that were late DIDNT get dc- and you did cos you were about what, five minutes later than all of them?

but HAHA i must declare God IS GOOD cos the guy let me off dc when i went to report :D heheeee "His eye is on the righteous and His ears are open to their cry." -psalm34:19 :D:D:D heh im not righteousness but He loves me anyway so :DDDDDDDDDDDD

and it gets really discouraging when i feel insidious evil satan attacking me and i watch all the negative aspects in my life which i did get rid of for a certain amount of time, all coming back again. and one horrible aspect is my really short temper eurghh i dont know how many people i've yelled at already..innumerable. i need to watch my step i know im treading on very dangerous ground and i know how easy it is to fall into happybeingsad mode and sit on my bum and wait for things to happen without doing anything and i REFUSE absolutely refuse to do that and i donotwantthattohappendonotdonotdonot

and i guess it all comes down to where your heart is. where my heart is, where my focus is, where my love lies. if i do not love, i am nothing. remembering 'my centre' which seems exceptionally apt at this point of time when the four of us are all struggling with keeping focused and know what? daily exhortation, and we'll make it through (:

it really is amazing watching His plan unfold in my life, how He placed each and every person that i know into that place, for a reason and it really feels like a kick in the stomach when you realise that so manymanymany people around think of worship as all about the feelings. and how the Word of God is secondary to the highly charismatic view which places so much emphasis on feelings. but feelings come and they go and if all you seek for is a 'spiritual high', you'll never find anything. i've learnt that over the years, the hard way. i thought i could hide from God but i cant. no one can. heh i remember so clearly this picture in my precious moments Bible of this little kid hiding beneath a blanket and beneath it is the catch phrase 'you cant hide from God' then the verse reference and it really made an impact on me and i need to remember that as i continue facing whatever else that comes (:

hurm like horrid rumors that results are coming out on the 16th of feb which REALLY SUCKS but yes i promised myself and Him to keep going and each day renewal, revival and strength from His word :D

verse of the day:

"for i am NOT ASHAMED of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the jew first and also for the greek. for in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, 'the just shall live by faith'"

i have a looonnnnnnnggggg way more but i'll hold on to this- the just shall live, BY FAITH (:

one more broken heart

I see people merely existing
I see vacant eyes full of pain
Lives broken and abused
Hiding hearts scarred and stained

As long as there's one more broken heart
One more crying soul, I'll go
And I will love them, Jesus
As long as there's one more needing you
One more I can show your love
As long as there's one more broken heart

Could it be that it could make a difference
If I care the way you care for me
When they look into my eyes
Let it be your eyes they see

As long as there's one more broken heart
One more crying soul, I'll go
And I will love them, Jesus
As long as there's one more needing you
One more I can show your love
As long as there's one more broken heart

Let me show them that you love them
Won't you help me bring them in?
Lord, I promise you again

As long as there's one more broken heart
One more crying soul, I'll go
And I will love them, Jesus
As long as there's one more needing you
One more I can show your love
As long as there's one more broken heart

to WALK WORTHY of the calling with which we were called- PERSEVERANCE :D yaye i love ac and sbone but this time there'll be added joy cos i will be focused i promise i promise to try still, at the very least (:

to cut a long story short, we're all suffering from jctransitionstress and are SEVERELY disorientated. but we will survive! :D armourarmour [eph6:10-20]

grace is God giving us what we dont deserve.
mercy is God holding back what we do deserve.

something pastor mitch told rie and i today really struck me, that we should count ourselves PRIVILEGED to suffer for His sake. (: and its amazing really cos after that i got real happy :D i want to keep walking, and i will NEVER lose that sense of wonder, and always keep that hunger to know Him more, love Him more (:

YAYE SISTERS LETS KEEP FIGHTING! :D:D:D

praise forevermore

Earnestly I sought You
Lovingly You found me
Embraced me as Your child
Now I'll never be the same
No greater love than Yours Lord
Never known it before
Only ever dreamed about
This abundant love

Singing hallelujah, hallelujah
To my awesome God
Lift my voice unto my closest friend
I'll praise you to the end >br>Singing hallelujah, hallelujah
To the faithful one
Raise my hands in honor of You lord
I'll praise forevermore

How could I say thank you
For joy and peace so beautiful
Father, friend, my Jesus
Lover of my soul
Savior of the world
I dance before your throne now
all that is within me Lord,
Will rise to glorify

Singing hallelujah, hallelujah
To my awesome God
Lift my voice unto my closest friend
I'll praise you to the end >br>Singing hallelujah, hallelujah
To the faithful one
Raise my hands in honor of You lord
I'll praise forevermore (:

saving grace

She had her father's blue eyes,
He left home before she arrived
Mama named her Grace
Just getting by on their own
When Grace was 15 she ran from home
One December day
Grace is lost and alone in a world as cold as stone
God is counting on us to to reach her with His love

It's all about saving Grace
All about living love
Being Jesus to those He came to save
Sharing life and giving our own away
It's all about serving God
All about saving Grace

She'd never darken the door of any church
She would say, "What for.. no one there would care for me"
We have to go where she lives Simply show her who Jesus is
Watch Him set her free
For grace flows down from above and faith requires a selfless love
For a world that's dying to to see the hope in you in me

It's all about saving Grace
All about living love
Being Jesus to those He came to save
Sharing life and giving our own away
It's all about serving God
All about saving Grace

There are countless millions just like Grace
Who need a merciful embrace
They won't believe our God is real
Until they feel His touch

It's all about saving Grace
All about living love
Being Jesus to those He came to save
Sharing life and giving our own away
It's all about serving God
All about saving Grace (:

yayeeee another pog favorite :D its all about saving grace, living love (: -being Jesus, to those He came to save (:

today's the cny concert singing thing we're singing a world of difference and psalm 96. and i think it really just amazes me that even puny little wretched [romans7:24 ;p] me could, CAN be that light and the agent of change in a person's life, just by sharing this truth that has been given to me, so freely (:

we can make a world of difference. and sometimes i really see that emptiness in people, the vacant eyes and just.. the huuuuuuge God-shaped void that hasnt been filled.

YES i must promote 1john1 heh james is still my favorite chapter but yes there are a million truths in 1john and yes discovery is always the first step yaye :D

i'll sing praise, FOREVERMORE (:

haiyooo im super tired :'(

heh but i am four hundred and ninety five dollars richer so im v happy HAH ;p i think thats qte pathetic compared to what other people collect but hurmmm who cares i will just be thankful for what i have (:

here i am to worship,
here i am to bow down,
here i am to say that You're my God.
You're altogether lovely,
altogether worthy,
altogether wonderful to me.

the distractions of jc life are enlarging themselves in front of me and I HATE IT and i know how easy it is to drop everything i have believed in for the past two years since i gave Him my life and just walk away. i've seen people do it and its really scary and i still remember when i saw the gradual absence from church and all the other telling factors how i prayed so hard for them and prayed as well that that would never never happen to me. i still pray that it wont, and i believe that as long as my heart is in the right place and i do my best to maintain this very precious walk with Him, that theres no doubt that He will do more than His share to keep me- just like what He did 2000 years ago. but i know that i should never underestimate the power of evil insidious satan and that i must always be ALERT and un-chidun in my reaction to battle if need be so grrrr first comes discipline of the body and the spirit, and second remembering never, NEVER to make compromises about my faith in this great God of mine. I WILL FIGHT!

Lord i loved it there, in the quiet place, [sc :'(]
which You made for me to rest.
where the pasture grows and the river flows,
and the blackbird builds her nest.
oh, the life was sweet and i longed to stay,
but i heard the distant drum,
and the muffled sound of marching feet,
and i knew the war had come. [ac! :'(]

well You know im not a fighter Lord,
and the hosts of hell are strong.
so fill me with Your Spirit,
help me put my armour on.
and when i face the enemy,
Lord all that he will see,
is me standing there in You,
and You standing there in me.

Lord i loved it there in the quiet place,
but i heard the battle cry.
now here i stand in the blood and flame,
and i had to ask You why.
oh the pasture's there for the lambs, You said,
it was never meant to be,
the place to try the souls of men
or the place of victory.

well You know im not a fighter Lord,
and the hosts of hell are strong.
so fill me with Your Spirit,
help me put my armour on.
and when i face the enemy,
Lord all that he will see,
is me standing there in You,
and You standing there in me.

heh sc isnt THAT sheltered but i guess compared to ac it is and considering the fact that its a girls' school, its DEFINITELY a quiet place compared to sbone what with siran's crazy laughter, justin's REALLY HIGH reactivity towards ben t's being a faggot and hurm their gayness, the sound of gina chewing mentos, crazy questions the geps always raise during lessons and a whole lot of other rubbish heh which despite the craziness, i really appreciate (:

i think the one thing im really scared about is shuffling my priorities. i KNOW how important it is to be able to get your priorities straight and to be able to focus on what is the most important to you. heh i just thought about the econs lecture where mrsdunnowhat was teaching us about opportunity cost like how when you list your priorities/choices in order of your preference when you get choice number 1 for example you sacrifice the benefits of choice 2. yea something like that and right now my priorities are still, thankfully around the same as last year which is

1) God
2) studies
3) friends and my family

when i placed friends and family third it doesnt mean i ignore them and go study but it refers more to.. well my SOCIAL life if thats what you want to call it cos if you ask me in terms of priorities, finishing danielkhor's physics homework is DEFINITELY higher in priority as compared to going shopping with someone but if it means a friend needs to talk, then danielkhor's physics homework can just go and die heh

but what i really want to set my sights on is a good and fruitful walk, a wonderful period of growing, and learning to love Him more throughout this period of two years which having tasted this little sample, i know is going to be reallllllll trying. but YES i will survive, all that i am, all that i could ever hope to be-

i owe it all to You. (:

i think i've been thinking too much.

had the first ac choir meeting today and the ac choir with a strength of 24 sounds amazingly beautiful and i really hope even after the results for o's come out, i can be a permanent part of that. its only been, what two weeks three days? and i already find myself so in love with acjc. the long hours really suck and all but theres just something about the place thats different.. i hate it? but i love it. and haiyo sometimes i think theres really something wrong with me heh

i know there are distractions in ac, but distractions exist EVERYWHERE so theres really no difference and haiyo i think they're really trying to get academics back on track cos attendance is taken at EVERY SINGLE LECTURE and theres absolutely no getting out of it and thats definitely good for me hurm cos i dont have a very high level of self-discipline ;p

and i realise alot of things are so different now. just about three months ago everything was sheltered, covered, pampered whateveryoucallit and now- its the REAL WORLD. and alot of times i come home and there are so many things filling my head i just cant seem to organise them and commit them one by one to the Lord and when i read passages in the Bible there just doesnt seem to be 'space' to store them all cos i read, and then i forget. which REALLY SUCKS la and headaches are getting more and more frequent nowadays which is crap and half the time my head just feels like its going to explode like RIGHT THERE and eurghhhhh

i thought alot about sc today, how much i miss it and all, and how i would've loved to go back and experienced that same familiarity i've carried with me for ten years or my life. and theres this big sign in my brain thats telling me to MOVE ON and to quit being an emotional basketcase but theres a BIGGER sign in my heart thats telling me i have a right to be a little sappy after ten years there so eurgghhhh i will just faint and die :'(

and, i dunno. i just miss sc, love ac- period.

and theres another million and one issues that i have to deal with but one of the biggest BIGGEST biggest issues i settled with the Lord today and im VERY HAPPY bwahaha and its really amazing la cos after i prayed i just picked up this book on jim elliot and started reading and like within the FIRST THREE CHAPTERS i got my answer and i was just like. WOW. in a state of complete shock/awe at His greatness and total efficiency in prayer answering (: and its really just amazing to see the way He works when He reminds me what i prepared myself for BEFORE i stepped into jc life and the promises i made which i intend to keep. and that although jc might not have gone exactly the way i expected, its good and for my lovely sbone class, i give thanks with all my heart (:

and theres this huuuuuuuuuuge part of His word which i find especially true at this point of time, i mean EVERYTHING in the Bible is truth but this is my special part now heh aside from my romans8:37-39 which i've gone on about for ages-

"and we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." -romans8:28

all things work together FOR GOOD to those who love Him (:

Jesus wants me for a Sonbeam,
a Sonbeam, a Sonbeam,
i'll be a Sonbeam for Him! :D:D:D

whoa life is crappycrappycrappycrappycrappycrappyCRAPPY im so tired! daniel khor is seriously horrifiying i almost fainted trying to do the stupid question on the board la heh thankfully la ujin and weijun told me to cube root it heh and i just did else i would've been there ALL DAY i have no clue about physics cos our lecturer is absolutely useless although he makes us laugh like every two seconds hurmm so yes i will dieeeee :'(

heh keith tan is SUPER thick-skinned la he keeps telling us he's "more than smart" and all of us just hear it and EXPLODE into fits of laughter i admit he's smart! but the way he says it haiyo so serious its shameless! but he's nice la thankfully and a v good cmaths/form teacher so yes (: OH YEAH i got five marks for the cmaths class test! i almost fainted of happiness heh i was expecting negative twenty out of twenty so yes must appreciate muchlyyyy His grace :D

when i really think about it, i never expected jc life to be this tiring. i mean really la the transition from primary to secondary school was definitely NOT like this one this gap is muchmuchmuch wider and sometimes i feel like just running back to sc to hide :'( and i know that my walk with Him is not going to be as easy as i thought it would be cos theres just physical faitgue thats hindering my walk right now and its already getting so discouraging and difficult, if other distractions/temptations come my way boy is it gonna be harder

v tired now physically/spiritually but i know how much keeping and preserving that walk means to me, and to God so i MUSTTTTTTT keep going v tired heh my romans8:37-39 again! nothing can separate me from His love (: nothing everevereverevereverever (:

come, now is the time to GIVE YOUR HEART (:

heh germ just msged me and asked if my diary was still surviving O_____o hurm so here i am! but yes school has been so horribly busy theres just no time to do anything else so yea :'(

i think we're all facing the jctransition stress already cos we're all like hurm ready to die la and the four of us have hardly talked to each other since school started granted rie and i talk alot to each other ruth and jia probly talk alot to each other cos they're both in rj but theres no other communication across these two pairs! and we're zaoing all over the place so after service and after ypg and all theres just no time to talk la so grr

i mean i love ac? but i miss sc. ALOT. had choir auditions on thursday and after i got in i was like. WOW. i remember what i think the principal said during one morning devotion about looking back to His hand and i realise i REALLY DO see His hand and that He reallyreallyREALLY answered every single one of my prayers down to the tiniest detail. first was my writing 8pts as my goal for my prelims which i got, second was my wanting to go to ac which i also got, third was my wanting to get into the ac choir which i ALSO got which i have no idea how i got cos i was sick and my voice severely zaoxiaded during the pitch test. and its really like WOW you know WOW everything that i asked for, He gave. nothing more, nothing less. and its just sosososososo wonderful :D

theres a choir meeting on wednesday that ends at THREE so i can just forget about going back to sc which is really like haiya. i want to go back! i was trying to devise some plan but theres no way i can get out of the meeting so gah :'(

and i realise that yea its not ac like IN ITSELF thats distracting, its jc ON THE WHOLE. the nine hour days just kill me la and by the time im home im just chionging daniel khor's hw and whatnot and i cant even get my head clear to just be still and know that He is God. i stare and i stare at the same verses but somehow they dont seem to be speaking very much to me. i know thats a problem in itself that i have to deal with and yea i wanna deal with it but it gets really pek sometimes cos you realise you've SEVERELY BACKTRACKKED and then youre like "EH! why am i here again?!" im being a horrible piece of driftwood, exactly what i said i wouldnt be.

i mean i get really happy when i see His hand in my life? His blessings, His guidance and all that He gives but its just the keeping focus cos like im ok in the mornings and all but after i plunge into the day whoa everything just spins and i end the day feeling all horrible and jaded and whatnot. AND ITS SO FRUSTRATING eurghhhhhh

but my Lord and God, You are so rich in mercy, mere words alone are not sufficient thanks. so take my life, transform, renew and change me- that I might be a living sacrifice.

our seniors are super nice heh we have a class song! how cool is that? haha its really cute :D

sbone forever

we all ticked that same box
on that green paper that day
never knew what was going to happen
just prayed everything be ok

first day of school came
strolled down the lonely aisle,
saw the unfamiliar faces,
immediately tasted bile [?!]

this legacy of sbone,
we pray will live forever,
always sing this song,
dont forget, never ever.

ice breakers, new teachers, photo list,
maths, econs and physics.
chemistry, gp and chinese,
oh boy what a mix.

but we were cool un cliche,
sometimes the envy of many.
we won in sports and matches,
had fun pe's at the d

this legacy of sbone,
we pray will live forever,
always sing this song,
dont forget, never ever.

heh i like it alot! heh it was written by.. becky heh dont know who she is in our grand senior class andrew's classmate i think but yea (: i really like 1sb1 and i really thank God that He placed me in this class cos if i got a sucky class.. boy would i have worse problems.

theres so much i know i gotta be thankful and i WILL be thankful for all that i've been given, but right now the challenge is simply to rest in His love and abide. not to be afraid or apprehensive about the future, but just to rest in His love and abide (: "abide in ME and I in YOU" psalm34:15 "His eye is ON THE RIGHTEOUS, and His ears are open to their cry" heh so much make sure im righteous so He'll take care of me ;p heh nah kidding none of us ever will be, but that should never stop us from trying to be the best that we can be, for Him (:

Lord take my life, transform, renew and change me, that i may be-

a living sacrifice.

hehhhh i think im severely outdated in terms of the net cos i havent been here in.. relatively long i think. but theres just NO TIME i cant stand it cos school ends at like four thirty everyday and then theres pretty much no more time left over GAH which is really annoying and i know i hate gp and cos i detest reading the news hurm and i hate physics cos of daniel khor! he hasnt really done anything to me but its just the way he handles situations we arent even into our fifth lesson with him and he's called a boy stupid, yelled at us, spat saliva on us and goodness knows WHAT ELSE. after the first day haiya i know what man and andrew said was TRUE BEYOND MEASURE he really cant speak properly and he's level of meaness ah aiyo can reach the sky

after the first day of lesson with him i almost fainted and died la and on the way home i was thinking and thinking "Lord do i have to LOVE even him?" and course i know the answer but EURGH i cannot bring myself to do it everytime i see him its like whoa wanna box his face grrrrr and i thought and i thought and i thought somemore and eurgh i know the max. i can give is tolerance la in order to keep a lowprofile in class and protect myself from getting yelled at and showered with a rich amount of his saliva HM and i know i know no matter HOW MUCH i try i will never be able to LOVE and it really got me wondering that hey. HE loves khor whom i hate to the core and He loves me! like how great is that? REALLY GREAT :D

i will attempt to try i will but i honestly think success factor is about zero but yes i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! :D heh im really beginning to love my class they arent nerds la maybe one or two but most of them are nice and NORMAL heh but the ratio of guys to girls is like. 22:6 which is really pathetic but ANYWAY i really like sb1 and i know it really was and IS the grace of the Lord that brought me to that class and kept me going, surviving and having much fun (:

but yes I HATE MASS PE that is the only part about ac that i really detest but whatever man heh (:

but the real challenge really is to keep growing, keep learning to trust and to rest ourselves wholly unto Him (: v thankful that He gave us [rie and i] each other for daily exhortation and just keeping us going each day, each morning, surviving on minimal hours of sleep, to learn to trust (: when the going gets tough- consider Christ.

consider Christ

Consider Christ
The source of our salvation.
That he should take the penalty for me.
Though he was pure,
A lamb without a blemish;
He took my sins and nailed them to the tree.

My Lord and God
You are so rich in mercy
Mere words alone are not sufficient thanks.
So take my life,
Transform, renew and change me
That I might be a living sacrifice.

Consider Christ
That he could trust his Father
In the garden of Gethsemane.
Though full of dread
And fearful of the anguish;
He drank the cup that was reserved for me.

My Lord and God
You are so rich in mercy
Mere words alone are not sufficient thanks.
So take my life,
Transform, renew and change me
That I might be a living sacrifice.

Consider Christ
For death he has defeated.
And He arose, appeared for all to see.
And now he sits
At God’s right hand in heaven;
Where He prepares a resting place for me.

My Lord and God
You are so rich in mercy
Mere words alone are not sufficient thanks.
So take my life,
Transform, renew and change me
That I might be a living sacrifice.

really wanna get into choir must try must try i hope i get in! hurm im qte bad been in a state of mourning for my phone since wednesday and its like hai so xingtong three hundred bucks down the drain la but hurm know i must always remember to count my blessings :D the day my phone disappeared went home la and my mum told me that melissa's dad/ auntie sylvia's husband just passed away.. and i was like. in a state of SHOCK la after hearing about how he died i was even more stunned and like.. i realised hey losing my phone is a pathetic problem compared to what the family is going through now and honestly, i never would want to go through it cos there are no words that will ever heal such a wound.

and i know that no one will ever be ready enough to deal with such a problem, but when it really does arise, with His help there is no problem too big that He cannot solve it, neither no cut too deep He cannot heal it (:

i must keep talking about my romans8:37-39 verse! i love it so veryveryvery much :D there really are alot of times when i feel like i cant handle jc life and im like what only two days into ninehour weeks and we're just beginning lectures and tutorials and i feel like i cant handle it hai. heh its AMAZING that i ended up in 1sb1 which is the first class la cos i am most definitely not first-class material hurm half the people there are REALLY smart and REALLY hardworking heh the rest are just slacking like me heh and theres like seven girls and twentyone guys talk about unevenness man in arts its like the total opposite four guys and the rest are girls and my class is overly ac-dominated so oh well but most of them are really nice :D and it is entirely by God's grace that i am anywhere near the top cos on my own, i'd be right down at the bottom so yea (:

i dont know im going for the wake afterwards and.. have no idea what im gonna do with myself cos i feel thei heartache cos i know how i'd feel if it was my dad but then again i dont know how to comfort people cos i really suck at that but yes must have courage! to try at least la cos i remember that verse on how the Spirit will give you utterance at that hour not speaking through you but guiding you on what to say so yes i will trust (:

i really like my new pog discovery heh and the lyrics really.. mean alot so yes enjoy (:

He sends His love

I am writing this to you
And I hope that one day soon
You will come to realize
You are precious in his eyes
I know you feel alone
A million miles from home
It seems that no one cares
That life is so unfair
Hold on to this promise like it’s your last breath
Let it fill your heart when it’s all you have left

You gotta believe
You gotta be strong
You gotta have faith enough to know no matter where you are
He is always with you
Never give up
Never give in
His only one died for all our sins and He will lift you up
And hold you in his love
He gave his son
He sends his love

When the weight is just to much
And there’s no one you can trust
When it’s dark and your afraid
Let the spirit guide your way
There is so much left to do
A great big world to wander through
So many people in your life
Waiting to see your smile

You gotta believe
You gotta be strong
You gotta have faith enough to know no matter where you are
He is always with you
Never give up
Never give in
His only one died for all our sins and He will lift you up
And hold you in his love
He gave his son
He sends his love

His love is all around you
A fortress that surrounds you
Let it comfort and protect you from the storm
It’s time to start a new day
He will help you find your way
To a better place

You gotta believe
You gotta be strong
You gotta have faith enough to know no matter where you are
He is always with you
Never give up
Never give in
His only one died for all our sins and He will lift you up
And hold you in his love
He gave his son
He sends his love

He sends His love (:

the past few days have been.. well v tiring (: orientation was great really even though we did really gross stuff like wiping the grass with our butts HURM but i also realised how easily, how insidiously all of the fun and the hectic schedule of jc life was dragging me away from the Lord. first i get so tired that when i come back, qt is usually say max. thirty to forty minutes? and then im dead to the world and usually its not v fruitful either cos im all so tired and all i can hardly absorb anything. the mornings were better though cos the trip to ac is so long i can read in the car but yea its just not the same. and SO i was saying i attacked stupid insidious satan back on my own and yes obviously it didnt work and so anyway i guess the Lord had to send me a biiiig knocking reminder that OI YOURE GETTING OUTTA LINE and yea He sent me a biiiiig lesson to remind me with a huuuuuuge price to pay.

and i know clearly what He wants me to learn through this experience, the big huge lesson- of forgiveness. and i tell you its really really REALLY difficult to forgive someone when the extent of damage is like. THAT MUCH especially when i've tried to be nice any chance i got. and its like whoaaa so frustrated i cried i screamed i cant remember what else i did i moped i dunno WHAT else i did and then i went hey. isnt whats laid out for me in Heaven a MILLION TIMES BETTER than what i have here on earth? and then the pain becomes so much easier to bear (: cos i realise that evil people can take everything on earth away from me but they can never EVER take away the salvation that i've been given (: and nothing can ever separate us from the love of God! :D:D [romans 8:37-39]

i will look to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith- for always (:

haha the most exciting thing about ac is that im in andrew's grand junior class and rie is in edlyn's grand junior class which is really qte amusing heh rie is highly amused at this and im like HM. but anyway our senior class is funny heh a little strange but they seem like nice people heh and they're planning a party i think and inviting us hmmm i promise to not go anywhere near a club! ok commitment made :D

light of the world, salt of the earth (:

when they look into my eyes, will it be Your eyes they see?

ahhh heh second day of orientation down and i got hurm muddified grassified and GROSSified heh but yes it was v fun hurm add chael+mud+detergent+water=? :D

had chapel in the morning heh i know man told me it was v boliao and its qte scary i mean to see people like SUDDENLY getting all high and lifting their hands and all i mean yes i sang and yes i really liked the lyrics of the songs but its just like this wrench in the heart when you see people making all sorts of strange movements and after the chapel service you see them with a thousand and one explitives emerging from their lips

the message was EVEN stranger hurm the pastor barnabas didnt even base his message on a specific part of the Bible he just went on and on about 'pursuing the truth' and extracting little verses here and there to support his statements and hm im sorry to say but half of his sermon contradicted with the other half gah i should make them get pastor to speak! :D

i think i have alot to learn about tolerance and loving the unlovely over the next few days.. ALOT to learn -faint

rie was telling me in the morning about all her frustrations and i guess it IS frustrating when you just try and try so hard and everyone just goes on about how you arent trying. hurm i shall not go into that if not i'll never stop and be dead for orientation tmr -faint

i guess it all comes down to where your heart is. and i reallyreallyREALLY wanna be fruitful in walking with Him and i reallyreallyREALLY wanna remain faithful but i also reallyreallyREALLY know that there are a thousand and one distractions and a million and one temptations that insidious satan is gonna attempt to throw at me/us but i PROTEST!grr and i promise to work v hard towards being established in the faith -BIGGRIN

heh im seriously thinking of joining the ac choir cos they sound SO GOOD i mean really good haii but v scared they dont want me :'( haha k la i will survive! (: pastor taught from psalm34:15 "His eye is on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry." during ypg on saturday and its just such a great comfort to know that as long as you keep His commandments and everyday just seek to know and love Him more, His eye is on the sparrow [even! :D] and i KNOW He watches me (:

when things change, plans fail, storms rise, hopes fade, time flies, hearts turn, weakness wins-

JESUS WILL STILL BE THERE (:

first day of jc orientation was SO TIRING i mean i almost fainted and died in the middle la we ran around till like six thirty? -faint and what really struck me was that everything was unfolding exactly the way i was told it would happen. heh told by all the j2s and above from church and t chen kee and yes in about thirty minutes theres og outing for rie and i hurm different groups but anyway yes then can go church together later (:

i remember what ade said just a few days ago that we shd go in wanting to have fun and we will, and i must remember to remind myself that SATAN WORKS IN HORRIBLY INSIDIOUS WAYS and that alot of things on their own, in themselves is not wrong? is just the things that they lead you to do thats wrong. like e.g. going for an og outing is NOT wrong i repeat it is NOT wrong but if it draws you away from church ahah thats when sin comes in.

then theres the other side of the coin- you can go to church go to church go to church YET not be able to lead a victorious Christian life, your relationship with the Lord might be as good as dead. thats where satan strikes again :'(

sometimes i just feel like smacking him upside down so he will quit attacking us with sin but i dont know how to do it so i'll deal with it the best i can (: [ephesians 6:10-20] i must remember to fight! heh i've got the first ten verses of 2peter in my head and i know i know the Lord meant for me to read it now cos it applies so much to my life right now. i do not want to be barren nor unfruitful in this life that i lead, in this straight and narrow path that i tread. i WANT to lead a victorious Christian life, and i want to trust Him (:

this is my first step into it and i already feel like all the air has been knocked out of me but i wanna have fun! and i will have fun cos i will make the best of whatever time i spend in ac (: and yea i wanna see how morning devotions in the school goes heh man says chapel is strange but anyway it really feels good to walk around the school and see verses plastered everywhere as a very big reminder (:

heh we had to buy an ac badge for two bucks [?!] heh its qte ripoff but anyway and i was considering putting it on and taking off the sc badge but i didnt want to! i miss sc SO much :'( nice sheltered sweet sc :'( so heh i walked around with the sc badge and my pinafore all day hurm monday i have to wear the ac badge gah i like ac but i miss sc! :'(

haha rie and i were praying together in the morning and when we were done we realised we forgot to pray for alot of people so we started again heh but wellllllll im not embarassed to tell anyone im a Christian because He lived for me, He loved [and loves] me and He died for me. so guess what i will resume the job of john the baptist heh "repent, for the kingdom of Heaven IS AT HAND!" heh not really but this is the truth and i wanna share it (: i will learn! :D:D:D

as we went down memory lane on wednesday night i saw His hand in testimonies given, and i just thank God cos i know that the 'tough' o level year was really next to nothing compared to what others were going through. ok so man, kathy, zhihui, edlyn, andrew survived ac for TWO WHOLE YEARS and i will survive it for three months if not two years- yes i will survive!

and YES, I BELIEVE (: